Hurt
I’m confused and I’m hurt. Someone who says I’m his best friend places more trust in others than me. At least that’s what it feels like. He trusts his girlfriend more and he has only known her for a month at most, compared to my nearly 4 years. I understand she’s his girlfriend yet…it hurts to think I’m no longer trusted in his eyes. That I play second fiddle to her, it’s not that I’m jealous…it’s that I’m hurt because he’d rather hang out with her or hang out with his other best friend than me. I can’t take it. That’s how it feels. We never hang out anymore…probably because when we do our defenses drop. I’m working on fixing that and the only way to help that problem is if we spend more time together. It’s frustrating to no end. I don’t believe I should be his main focus but as of late it’s like I’m the last thing on his list of ‘things/people to care about.’ He’s being such an ungrateful b*****d! Whenever he’s in a bad mood who gets the blunt of it all?! ME! Who, after realizing he’s grumpy, lets him handle it and tries to not take offense to his sarcastic comments?! ME! Who sits there and lets him be a complete a** and STILL forgives him?! ME!! Would his girlfriend do all that?! NO! She’d probably break up with him if she dealt with all the s**t I get from him! I’m so sick of being the one that takes all the s**t! I’m so SICK of being the punching bag! It’s gotten to the point where I’m about to just ignore him completely! That’s how sick of it all I am! His girlfriend and other best friend better be damn grateful that they don’t have to deal with that! Maybe I should be grateful that he trusts me to know that it’s just a phase but it happens so OFTEN that I’m beginning to think he just completely hates my guts! ******** multiple personalities, all he has is a ******** problem that needs to be dealt with. Maybe for once he needs to honestly feel how much pain I’ve gone through for him! Hell how much pain I’ve gotten FROM him. Maybe then he’ll finally get the ******** picture!
..Well I wrote this in word. I needed to get some crap out about my best friend but I think that may change if this keeps up...
Community Member
Remember my little explination to our relationship? Two opposite sides of the same peice of paper. Exactly! We both have problems with emotions but it's the opposite emotion. You hardly keep yourself going where I'm sitting here dealing with TWO of me. I'm fine with having two me's in my mind. It helps me get my anger out. And NO I dont only take it out on YOU. I have plenty of things to get my anger out other than yell at you.
As I said, Your my friend, but DONT talk about s**t you know nothing about. It makes me trust you less. Ranting is fine, but it gives people the wrong idea. Next time, a private journal entry would suit best if your going to shoot your mouth about someone. Also, if you have a problem with ME, tell ME, not the rest of the online community.