For many people, coming out can be a terrifying affair. Some people take years to build up the courage, while others may never feel comfortable being open in front of friends or family. No matter your circumstance, making the decision to come out is never easy. That is why I have prepared a few tips for those of you who are still in the closet and are thinking about coming out.
Tip 1: Timing Is EverythingThere is never a "perfect time" to come out - but there are plenty of times which are probably not the best to do so. Avoid dropping the news when your friends or loved ones are under a lot of stress, when they have just come home from work, or on any family holidays - if the reaction is negative, this may ruin that holiday for them forever. Try gently bringing up the conversation when they are calm, relaxed, and seem receptive to conversation. You may want to start by saying, "There's something important that I need to talk to you about, but I need you to bear with me and hear me out before you try to respond."
Tip 2: Make A Game PlanEvery person will react differently to the news of their friend or loved one being LGBT. Before you come out, you must mentally prepare yourself for a negative reaction. Think of all the things they could say or ask beforehand, and come up with a game-plan of how you will respond. This preparedness will make the conversation a lot easier, because you will already have in your head what you are going to say and it will greatly reduce your chances of being caught off guard and freezing up.
Tip 3: Remember that negative reactions are normal! When people hear something that shocks or confuses them, it is natural for them to experience anger or grief. In many cases, this will pass with time and patience. You have to be just as understanding of their point of view as you are expecting them to be of yours. This patience will help them process and come to terms with what they have heard, and hopefully, will foster love and acceptance.
Tip 4: Not every person will respond negatively! There are many people who are very gracious and accepting of their LGBT loved ones. But if things start to go downhill, remind yourself that you have to do what makes YOU happy - no one else matters more than you, and as long as you have self-love, that is all you need. I guarantee that you will meet some awesome and amazing people to take the place of those who choose not to accept you.
Tip 5: Find A Support NetworkWhile you are thinking about coming out, and after you have done so, it is important to have a network of supportive peers or family that you can rely on to help you through the process. The Nerd Guide is an excellent example of this! You can also visit your school's GSA Club, find an online LGBT Support Group or Chat Room, or connect with friends or family who you know are very open to LGBT society. It can be very difficult sometimes to go through this alone, so having supportive friends can make all the difference in how you handle the situation and how you feel about yourself.
If you would like to read about others' experiences with coming out, I have created a
Stories thread in the LGBT Alliance sub-forum. Feel free to check it out and leave comments.
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