|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 12:42 am
For many people, coming out can be a terrifying affair. Some people take years to build up the courage, while others may never feel comfortable being open in front of friends or family. No matter your circumstance, making the decision to come out is never easy. This is a space where you can share your own personal story of coming out. Whether good or bad, the choice to share is up to you and you alone - but your stories may just bring encouragement and courage to those who have yet to pry open their closets. If you have not yet come out, but are thinking about it, I have created an Advice Column detailing some tips I've found useful in making the big decision - and putting it into action. Feel free to check it out and drop in any questions you might have smile
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 10:22 pm
I will start with my story, to show you guys how it's done wink
My coming out happened on Mother's Day of 2011. First of all, as I have cautioned in my advice column, it is never wise to come out on any holiday - my mother still holds this over my head.
I was struggling with a lot of anxious feelings, because I was having a relationship in secret - and my partner had even been allowed to live in my parents' house while this was going on, without them knowing about it. Anyway. I was 19, and really struggling with keeping all this inside. I was lying to my parents, and my partner was feeling very frustrated because she wanted to be out and open. She didn't think it was fair to her or anyone else that we should hide, and it hurt her to think that I was ashamed of us. She moved out, and I finally couldn't take it anymore.
While I still had the courage, I went into the living room where my parents were, and I asked my brother to leave so we could talk in private. I sat down, took a deep breath... And simply came right out and said it. I said, "I do love [name], and I do want to be in a relationship with her." For some reason, saying "I do" made it easier to get out. My parents didn't have much of a reaction right away - they asked a few questions, along the lines of "Are you sure", and just tried to wrap their heads around it. When that was all finished, my mom assured me that I am her daughter and she will always love me, but that I knew how she felt about this. I said I know. She hugged me. She was crying. But they weren't good tears. They were the tears of a woman who was experiencing grief, confusion, and guilt as a parent, as if she had messed up somehow in raising me.
Time passed, and we rarely if ever brought it up. We interacted normally. More time passed, and eventually we started talking about it again. Me and my partner were acknowledged as a fact of life, and we occasionally had polite debates about our opinions. We have agreed to disagree. But the important thing is that I still have my family, even though we have different viewpoints. And we still love each other.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Aug 03, 2014 8:33 pm
I came out two years ago. I was going through the cycle of realizing that I was gay, then getting angry about it, then denying it, and eventually I sucked it up and accepted it. I didn't tell my mom in person. I sent her a text message. It started off with me asking, "hey, mom. You know how I always say Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp are attractive?"
Well, I went on to saying that I only acknowledge that they are indeed pleasing to look at. I told her that I was a lesbian and her reaction wasn't too great. I was raised in the church so of course she wasn't happy. All she told me was that she'd pray for me and we never brought it up again.
I always wondered why I lost interest after dating a guy for a few weeks even though he had an amazing personality and whatnot. I just wasn't physically attracted to him. My advice is to simply talk to your parent(s) how you usually do. Don't ever say, "I need to talk to you" cause that will scare them. Just telling them you want to talk won't cause alarm.
After coming out to my mom, she kept trying to set me up with guys. If your parents do that, politely tell them that you're not interested. They'll eventually quit trying.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
