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 Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 12:08 pm
I know a lot of people seem to dislike/be confused by labels in the lesbian community. I mean, there are a LOT of terms and labels for all sorts of lesbians. Some of them are silly, like "bulldagger/ deisel dyke." But some of them I feel are important, and simple, and generally fit how most lesbians view themselves.
I think the most important labels are these: Lipstick lesbian, femme, chapstick lesbian, soft butch, and butch.
I think they are mainly used to describe two things... 1. How feminine/masculine you are. & 2. How feminine/masculine of a woman you are attracted to.
A lipstick lesbian is a confusing label, because I think most people imagine that it's an uber uber girly femme. But really, it means: A feminine lesbian who is only attracted to other feminine women.
Put simply: Feminine, likes feminine.
A femme is a feminine lesbian who is typically attracted to masculine women.
Put simply: Feminine, typically likes masculine.
A chapstick lesbian is somewhere between feminine and masculine; androgynous. But a bit to the feminine side.
Put simply: Androgynous, typically not picky.
A soft butch is somewhere between feminine and masculine; androgynous. But a bit to the masculine side.
Put simply: Androgynous, typically not picky.
A butch is a masculine lesbian who is typically attracted to feminine women.
Put simply: Masculine, typically likes feminine.
Why are these labels important? Because I feel it makes things easier to describe ourselves. For example, rather than explaining to someone that I'm a feminine lesbian who likes only feminine women, I could just say that I'm a lipstick lesbian. Easy, right?
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Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 12:41 pm
Personally, labels have always...bothered me I guess. Mostly because I don't like being categorized as something, then poked at because I don't act exactly like the label I've been put into. Or, more specifically, the label others believe I fit best in. For example, I consider myself more on the masculine, dominant side, and I'm attracted to feminine girls. I guess I could be considered a Soft Butch. However, I've had girls toss me into the feminine/submissive pool because of my laid back, non-aggressive personality. It's like, just because my personality doesn't match up exactly with the label, then I'm obviously something else. And that annoys me, because that's not who I am.
Ramble ramble ramble, I think I lost my train of thought... But what I'm saying is that labels are fine and dandy. It's always nice to have a name for what you are and to be proud of it. Just when people start to generalize and nitpick other people for not fitting exactly into that label, the label becomes... I dunno. It becomes a platform to be judged by others. And that's never cool.
*shuffles into a corner to hide*
eek
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Invisible Conversationalist
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Posted: Sat Jul 06, 2013 12:59 pm
That makes sense. So, that means that I'm either a lipstick or chapstick lesbian. Right now I look to be more on the girly side, but I tend to have a strong desire to look... A little more on the androgynous side. I want to look 'feminine' but not overly 'girly' if you get what I mean. I do wear dresses, but I want to have more dress pants and button up shirts to wear. I also wear makeup, but I prefer it to be invisible. (Pretty much. Pale pink eyeshadow, something to cover acne. Right now it's a tinted moisturizer with sunscreen, and mascara. I wear eyeliner, but not always. No lipstick.) What does that make me? neutral
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Posted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 5:58 pm
That's what they meant when they said I'm a soft butch.. thanks for posting this ^-^
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Posted: Fri Jul 26, 2013 8:29 pm
This list is very 'straight to the point', which I like. cat_3nodding I don't really care much for labels, but I would have to say that I'm more of a chapstick lesbian. If I could be more feminine I would, but I'm just more comfortable with a simple, casual look. cat_neutral
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Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 8:30 am
Awkwardly Ariana
Personally, labels have always...bothered me I guess. Mostly because I don't like being categorized as something, then poked at because I don't act exactly like the label I've been put into. Or, more specifically, the label others believe I fit best in. For example, I consider myself more on the masculine, dominant side, and I'm attracted to feminine girls. I guess I could be considered a Soft Butch. However, I've had girls toss me into the feminine/submissive pool because of my laid back, non-aggressive personality. It's like, just because my personality doesn't match up exactly with the label, then I'm obviously something else. And that annoys me, because that's not who I am.
Ramble ramble ramble, I think I lost my train of thought... But what I'm saying is that labels are fine and dandy. It's always nice to have a name for what you are and to be proud of it. Just when people start to generalize and nitpick other people for not fitting exactly into that label, the label becomes... I dunno. It becomes a platform to be judged by others. And that's never cool.
*shuffles into a corner to hide*
eek
THANK YOU for posting this. I was waiting a bit to see what people said. I didn't want to post and have people be scared of saying their opinion. Everyone has a right to believe whatever they want (as long as you don't want to strangle babies or kick puppies) and all of your opinions are valid.
However, I have a huge problem with being labeled. I label myself as Nai (well, my real name) and that's IT. NOTHING ELSE. We are all unique, that's what so great! I can understand the comfort of fitting into a preformed caste but I have never met another person like me. Or another Shiny. Or another Res Novae. I don't fit into ANY of these labels. ((What is a masculine girl that likes masculine women?))
Sometimes I feel like telling people "Just because my style doesn't fit into one of your conformist stereotypes doesn't mean I don't have one."
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Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 11:56 am
I think that lipstick lesbians can like lesbians that aren't "feminine."
But that's just my opinion.
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Posted: Sat Jul 27, 2013 2:50 pm
Naioka Awkwardly Ariana
Personally, labels have always...bothered me I guess. Mostly because I don't like being categorized as something, then poked at because I don't act exactly like the label I've been put into. Or, more specifically, the label others believe I fit best in. For example, I consider myself more on the masculine, dominant side, and I'm attracted to feminine girls. I guess I could be considered a Soft Butch. However, I've had girls toss me into the feminine/submissive pool because of my laid back, non-aggressive personality. It's like, just because my personality doesn't match up exactly with the label, then I'm obviously something else. And that annoys me, because that's not who I am.
Ramble ramble ramble, I think I lost my train of thought... But what I'm saying is that labels are fine and dandy. It's always nice to have a name for what you are and to be proud of it. Just when people start to generalize and nitpick other people for not fitting exactly into that label, the label becomes... I dunno. It becomes a platform to be judged by others. And that's never cool.
*shuffles into a corner to hide*
eek
THANK YOU for posting this. I was waiting a bit to see what people said. I didn't want to post and have people be scared of saying their opinion. Everyone has a right to believe whatever they want (as long as you don't want to strangle babies or kick puppies) and all of your opinions are valid.
However, I have a huge problem with being labeled. I label myself as Nai (well, my real name) and that's IT. NOTHING ELSE. We are all unique, that's what so great! I can understand the comfort of fitting into a preformed caste but I have never met another person like me. Or another Shiny. Or another Res Novae. I don't fit into ANY of these labels. ((What is a masculine girl that likes masculine women?))
Sometimes I feel like telling people "Just because my style doesn't fit into one of your conformist stereotypes doesn't mean I don't have one."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzI
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Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 8:33 pm
Flickering Hope Naioka Awkwardly Ariana
Personally, labels have always...bothered me I guess. Mostly because I don't like being categorized as something, then poked at because I don't act exactly like the label I've been put into. Or, more specifically, the label others believe I fit best in. For example, I consider myself more on the masculine, dominant side, and I'm attracted to feminine girls. I guess I could be considered a Soft Butch. However, I've had girls toss me into the feminine/submissive pool because of my laid back, non-aggressive personality. It's like, just because my personality doesn't match up exactly with the label, then I'm obviously something else. And that annoys me, because that's not who I am.
Ramble ramble ramble, I think I lost my train of thought... But what I'm saying is that labels are fine and dandy. It's always nice to have a name for what you are and to be proud of it. Just when people start to generalize and nitpick other people for not fitting exactly into that label, the label becomes... I dunno. It becomes a platform to be judged by others. And that's never cool.
*shuffles into a corner to hide*
eek
THANK YOU for posting this. I was waiting a bit to see what people said. I didn't want to post and have people be scared of saying their opinion. Everyone has a right to believe whatever they want (as long as you don't want to strangle babies or kick puppies) and all of your opinions are valid.
However, I have a huge problem with being labeled. I label myself as Nai (well, my real name) and that's IT. NOTHING ELSE. We are all unique, that's what so great! I can understand the comfort of fitting into a preformed caste but I have never met another person like me. Or another Shiny. Or another Res Novae. I don't fit into ANY of these labels. ((What is a masculine girl that likes masculine women?))
Sometimes I feel like telling people "Just because my style doesn't fit into one of your conformist stereotypes doesn't mean I don't have one."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzIGreat post flicker! Thanks~! Off topic: This guy also does 50 myths about science He is like the Bill Nye of our generation! ｡◕ ‿ ◕｡
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Posted: Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:33 pm
Naioka Flickering Hope Naioka Awkwardly Ariana
Personally, labels have always...bothered me I guess. Mostly because I don't like being categorized as something, then poked at because I don't act exactly like the label I've been put into. Or, more specifically, the label others believe I fit best in. For example, I consider myself more on the masculine, dominant side, and I'm attracted to feminine girls. I guess I could be considered a Soft Butch. However, I've had girls toss me into the feminine/submissive pool because of my laid back, non-aggressive personality. It's like, just because my personality doesn't match up exactly with the label, then I'm obviously something else. And that annoys me, because that's not who I am.
Ramble ramble ramble, I think I lost my train of thought... But what I'm saying is that labels are fine and dandy. It's always nice to have a name for what you are and to be proud of it. Just when people start to generalize and nitpick other people for not fitting exactly into that label, the label becomes... I dunno. It becomes a platform to be judged by others. And that's never cool.
*shuffles into a corner to hide*
eek
THANK YOU for posting this. I was waiting a bit to see what people said. I didn't want to post and have people be scared of saying their opinion. Everyone has a right to believe whatever they want (as long as you don't want to strangle babies or kick puppies) and all of your opinions are valid.
However, I have a huge problem with being labeled. I label myself as Nai (well, my real name) and that's IT. NOTHING ELSE. We are all unique, that's what so great! I can understand the comfort of fitting into a preformed caste but I have never met another person like me. Or another Shiny. Or another Res Novae. I don't fit into ANY of these labels. ((What is a masculine girl that likes masculine women?))
Sometimes I feel like telling people "Just because my style doesn't fit into one of your conformist stereotypes doesn't mean I don't have one."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXAoG8vAyzIGreat post flicker! Thanks~! Off topic: This guy also does 50 myths about science He is like the Bill Nye of our generation! ｡◕ ‿ ◕｡
Hank Green is Awesome. I've enjoyed lots of his videos. I recently subscribed to scishow on youtube. I really enjoy both of Hank's and John's videos on vlogbrothers as well. I subscribed to that channel quite a few months ago. That video I just posted was the first vlogbrothers video I ever saw. I thought Hank did such a good job at explaining things that I've posted the video in quite a few places since I first saw it several months ago. I'm really glad I saw that video and found the vlogbrothers channel. DFTBA
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