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Chrono-Trigger-2012

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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 7:47 pm

I guess this is kindof a post for advice and whatnot...

I'm kinda dealing with a bit of an issue with a friend of mine, and it goes as such:

For the last week or so, he's been going on and on about all of the guys he's been meeting and dates that he has planned and blah blah blah blah blah....

Don't get me wrong...I'm happy that his love life is "going well", but the fact that he's been going on about it makes me kindof feel like he's rubbing it in my face (unintentionally), as I've told him many times about my difficulty with dating and meeting new people that are even mildly interested in me.

I'll be honest, yes I'm a bit jealous, and I honestly don't see much difference between me and him (sans me being the nicer of the two).

I guess I just feel that he should understand my situation, and tone down on the exhuberance of his conquests, especially when we have plans to go out, he invites one of said people along, then tells me that I'm just going to have to deal with them doing "whatever" because I'm usually staying over. Or proceeds to tell me that "It'd be alright if I brought someone over too," knowing fair well, that I don't have that resource available to me as well. Once again, this may just be my jealousy kicking in, but it seems like that's a bit of a cop-out, to make himself feel better.

I guess the question is, am I just being too sensitive? Is he in the wrong, as a friend?

I'm kinda lost here, and have gotten advice from other people on this matter, but I'd like some more.

Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:38 pm

I'm not sure if what I'll say will be helpful, but I'll try.
It sounds like he isn't being that considerate of your feelings. Yes, it's nice that he finds someone, and you understand that, but he shouldn't be making feel like a third wheel.
You can talk to him again about how he's making you feel. Hopefully he'll understand. But if he can't understand your feelings and just keeps rubbing it in, I wouldn't hang out with him for a while.

Angel Bruja

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Esiris

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Posted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 9:38 pm

I think you two need to each give a little- he needs to respect your time more and you need to be ok with him having a love-life so it doesn't ruin your friendship.

Are you over 18?

Posted: Tue Mar 06, 2012 4:53 pm

I think hes just love struck and happy. No need to put him down and make him feel bad about being happy for once. sweatdrop
be supportive, and maybe his date knows someone who might like you.

User 27225319

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MaeveAisling

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Posted: Wed Mar 07, 2012 3:43 pm

Well tell him lightly again what you're going through and how you feel when he does this if your friend is truly your friend they would just let you be 3nodding .

Posted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:32 pm

doesn't sound like your being extra sensitive
seems like he is not being considerate
I would tell him that its bothering you

Musical_Vampire_Socks

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Chrono-Trigger-2012

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Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 8:06 pm

Esiris

I think you two need to each give a little- he needs to respect your time more and you need to be ok with him having a love-life so it doesn't ruin your friendship.

Are you over 18?

Lol yes, I'm 22.

I figured that was the response that I was going to get, and that's something that I've definitely gotta work on.

I just wanted a different opinion other than my own on the situation.

Posted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 12:38 am

I might know how you feel, I deal with social anxiety disorder irl and I don't have that many friends. I don't know if that's exactly what you're experiencing but I think I understand. Even though I have a hard time connecting with people and keeping touch with them sometimes I still feel lonely. I think about my past friends a lot but I don't have the courage to reach out to them. It seems like you have a similar problem where you feel lonely but can't seem to connect with other people (correct me if I'm wrong) and it's brave of you to admit to us and yourself that you might be jealous of your friend.

I don't think you're overreacting, because if you're feeling hurt it's not something that you have control over. You just need to step back and think about if your friend is the kind of person who would intentionally be trying put you do to make himself feel better. Does he know that you sometimes feel lonely because of your lack of dates? He may not "know full well" that you don't have the resources like you think he does, so consider that before you think the worst of him. I personally think it's rather insensitive of him to change plans by bringing someone at the last minute, as a matter of etiquette if nothing else.

On the other hand, assuming the absolute worst you think of him, do you really want to be opening up to someone like that? I know that it's been suggested that you talk to him, and you really haven't discussed much about his personality. But if he really is a braggart and has a mean personality, it might not be a good idea to show your vulnerable side. If you consider it and you decide that it's not worth it, I suggest you just slowly grow apart from him without too much discussion.

But what do I know about social relationships rofl just one hermit giving advice to someone who doesn't want to become one sweatdrop If it makes you feel better I'm happily married to another loner. I don't mean to say this to make you feel bad, I'm just trying to say that if you really are someone who has a hard time with relationships (like both of us were) it's a huge world there's always someone that you're going to be compatible with. And I promise we found each other when we weren't even looking. Almost everyone will tell you the moment you stop looking is when you find someone to be with. So don't be jealous, try to enjoy your own life to the fullest, and try your best to be patient because I'm sure the wait will be worth it wink Good luck!

Erise Crewe

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