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 Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:28 pm
Before anyone asks, no I'm not trying to get attention or get a whole lot of "I'm sorry!"s. I'm here to see if anyone can help me. My maternal grandfather died this morning. He was very special to me and it's hard. I know it's okay to cry and to mourn and be sad for a little while. But I have trouble when it comes to coping. All my frustration and stress comes out in those tears and it doesn't seem to stop. Do any of you guys have a specific way you cope with this sort of stress? I know everyone copes differently, but I figure one person somewhere has some method I could use to lessen the pain.
Thanks guys.
~Iileyah<3
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 6:09 pm
My own grandfather died six months ago. He and I were very close, as you were with yours, but I cope in rather a different way... I'm not really a crier. So I'm not sure there's any help I can give you.
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Sanguina Cruenta Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:03 pm
I don't think things can really "lessen the pain"- other than time.
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 7:34 pm
This won't be at all helpful, but things don't really get better at the six month point. You sort of miss him MORE because it's been so long since you've seen him. I don't know who came up with this "death" malarky but it's badly managed. Visits should be organised.
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Sanguina Cruenta Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Mar 21, 2011 11:16 pm
umm...well to be honest for me sleep works pretty well...I don't know maybe its just giving myself some distance from the event/situation and I might be rather sad when I fall to sleep maybe even crying but often when I wake up my emotions will kind of reset (at-least for awhile)...if that makes since...helps me think things out with a clearer more logical mind set...
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 6:24 am
I throw myself into work. If I'm stuck in the house I clean, if I can get outside I garden or work in the barn (when I still had one) I also chop firewood and other manual labor. The physical exertion makes me too tired to be sad and it works out the frustration. I don't know if that will work for you, but it works for me, there is always more work to be done, so you can keep going until you feel better.
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Posted: Tue Mar 22, 2011 7:26 am
I'm kind of like Shearaha, I like to get myself doing something that either engages the mind (for me computer games are great mind-suckers) or the body (cleaning or some other repetitive action).
I also find that writing is immensely helpful with emotional things. Sometimes, I'll just start writing a fictional story to get the thoughts and issues I might be struggling out with. Writing about a person that isn't me lets me take a step back from the situation.
Another thing that might help is a kind of journal writing. You can write letters to your lost loved ones. You can not only express, to the person you care about, how you feel, but you can say things you might not have had a chance to say to them. I tend to burn my letters after I have written them.
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 11:47 am
Thanks everyone. I'll definitely look into trying out some of these and see which one works best. I really appreciate it.
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Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 5:48 pm
Humor usually helps oh and do something random or new
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