[Enrollment] Willow Voltaire the Ghost [Crit] [ACCEPTED]

[LP]

[[Heee... hope I did this right... ^^; ]]

AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM

Name: Willow Voltaire
Nicknames: N/A
Gender: Female
Age: 15

Faction/Race Ghost / Byakko
-Byakko: A highly territorial orange tiger spirit. They stalk anything and anything that enters their territory, and unleash an unholy wrath upon anyone that dare disturbs the Byakko's domain. After 500 years, a Byakko matures and turns white. Byakko actively haunt the Human World in the fall when they're orange until they turn white, upon which they haunt the winter season.

Personality:
Willow loves a challenge, it's not whether you win or lose to her, and not to mention it’s the thrill of the game. The feline is interested in Amityville's classes because to her most of them are new and the thrill of the challenge is to learn as much as she can from the school. However, while Willow loves a challenge she has a few personal issues, it takes her a while to fully trust anyone and let them close to her, which includes letting them inside her little personal bubble space. While she won't hyper ventilate she'll step back to remove the temptation from the other of touching her. However, Willow will occasionally invade someone else’s personal space if she feels threatened by a particular group, or there’s someone she trusts, or is comfortable with being near. Any other time it’s likely she’s invading your space because you deserve whatever she’s about to dish out, even if it’s just a slap.

Willow often comes off as shy in large groups, especially floods of students. Most of the time it’s because she a more solitary type creature and prefers having her space rather than having a billion bodies invade hers. She’s most comfortable in small groups of three or four people, especially when they’re not being loud. The louder the noises occasionally the more jumpy she gets, part of it is because the louder noises hurt her ears. However, despite the solitary and shyness in large groups she’ll often swallow that when it means there’s work to be done or there’s something there that’ll give her comfort, be it some sort of creature or a toy. She also likes her privacy and doesn’t enjoy people butting into her business, but she’ll divulge what is needed when it comes to working in groups she doesn’t want to see them fail just because she was stubborn. She does love to talk when the opportunity presents itself, most of the time it’s because there’s only one or two people and she’s more than comfortable other times it ends up being a way she can comfort herself and not notice something, often that something is large groups of ghouls.

Willow is also very prideful, she dislikes having herself humiliated because of something that happened or she did something wrong. While it's good to have humble pie every now and again Willow's just not the type to appreciate others laughing at her. Not only does Willow love challenges, has a high pride value and sometimes it causes her to be just a little bit withdrawn from others. When her pride is hurt she’ll go sulk in her room or try to find something to redeem herself with, especially when it’s in a large group, it doesn’t help she’s a bit shy around already mentioned large group. If she humiliates herself in front of them too she just wants to go crawl under a rock and hide for the rest of eternity, or until she finds a way to build back up her ego a little.

The feline also has a high curiosity value, more often than not Willow will be more than happy to go investigate strange happenings, was there movement over there? What was that noise? Willow’s curiosity often gets the best of her and she’s off like a flash trying to find out what it was. This sometimes helps her in other situations more so than other, it’s not just about finding out what that random noise that shouldn’t’ve been there, it’s about her overcoming her own troubles. However, as much as it helps it also hinders and gets her into trouble. Willow will often bring this curiosity to class, asking a million and one questions on topics that might seem vague or she’s not sure she’s understood it right; this is much to the teacher’s dismay at times.

Willow also has a ferocious side; please don’t mistake her for a kitten. If you do something to piss her off you better be willing to pay the piper. When her patience is worn thin or she feels someone is being overly mean to one of her friends she normally lashes out at the offending person. All etiquette and seeming ‘normal rules’ for Willow’s behavior are out the window, she won’t start psychically fighting anyone unless she feels backed into a corner or has to; but she will give you down the country and get in your face while doing it to get her point across. However, it takes a good deal to get Willow to this point of anger you can still tell when she starts to get there.


Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? Willow attends Amityville Academy for Creature Feature 101, the species of the world fascinates her and she can’t wait to see what all is out there in her back yard that she’s missed. Living Halloween she's kept mostly to herself, her studies mainly were due to homeschooling so Willow never really got the chance to see many monsters or other species up close so when she found out about Amityville Academy she started begging to go so she could see the world.

FEAR:
-Misty surprise: Willow can cloak herself in a mist to sneak up on her target and surprise them.

Natural Ability
-Sense Intruder: A Byakko can immediately sense when someone enters their territory and zero in on their immediate location.

Physical Description:
Eye Colour: Icy Blue
Hair Colour/Style: Black long and straight
Skin Colour: Orange with black stripes and white (see references)
Clothing Style/Colours: Gothic-Lolita style clothing or Asian style clothing. She often wears chokers if her outfit doesn’t obscure her neck. In shades of Blood Red, Purple, dark blues, blacks, etc. (Working on possible reference image)
Extra: Tiger ears and Tail.
References:
Eyes: http://browse.deviantart.com/resources/?qh=§ion=&q=eyes#/d9gixs cat-like.
Character: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v445/LPsgaianpets/breedables/Velveteen Toychest/LPADULT-1.jpg (for skin, hair, etc)
Character: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v445/LPsgaianpets/breedables/Velveteen Toychest/LPTEEN-1.gif (for skin, hair, etc)
Clothing Examples:
Eh... working on this. Check out the first character for her original 'outfit' though, second post has inspiration images you can make scary, or play with.

 

[LP]

So um... this is my first attempt at a quest here... >> May I have some crits please? ^^; Let me know if I'm doing it wrong~

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*edit 2*
-snip snip-
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*edit 1*

I thought I might throw in some random clothing Willow would likely wear. The artist is free to noodle with any of these if they want, mix and match if they want. However, they'd like to do it. In any halloween colors they'd like. =3 (Also Willow's not a fan of shoes...) Please note that also these are just inspirations for outfits, the artist doesn't have to use them at all. =3

Dresses: 1 2a 2b 2c 3 4 5 6 7 8

Outfits: 1 2 3

Visual stuff sorta my own little notes atm.  

[Toshihiko Two]

For the demon type I might try (depending on where she is from!)

Tiger Youkai (Tora) Yōkai (妖怪, literally demon, spirit, or monster?) are a class of preternatural creatures in Japanese folklore ranging from the evil oni (ogre) to the mischievous kitsune (fox) or snow woman Yuki-onna. Some possess part animal and part human features (e.g. Kappa and Tengu). Yōkai generally have a sort of spiritual or supernatural power. (there are already some sub-species notes up about Kitsune and Inugami)

Hantu Belia (Tiger Demon) A Hantu demon is a legendary evil spirit or demon in Philippine mythology. They are notorious in the Philippines for allegedly possessing people and driving them insane.This creature is said to have a power to possess people or animals and kill their souls to become the creature that he/she possessed.

*

There are a few errors in the way you talk about the world around Willow (in regards to fear, horror movies, etc), go ahead and read the FAQ and other guides. (Don't forget the Spookypedia!)

The Pride and Challenge Loving paragraph say the same thing, so you might want to just pick one or combine them.

Also don't forget to pick out a Natural Ability for her.  

[LP]

Thank you I think the Hantu Belia sounds actually very interesting.

I'll try to fix her traits and things asap. After my homework and things are done, thank you for the help! heart  

[Hes a Trap]

Personality: I feel there needs to be a little explaining on her personality. Like she enjoys a challenge but hates to be touched. There are many challenges that require touching on both parts. It seems like there is a piece of the puzzle missing on why she doesn't like to be touched.

Fear: Not really getting it. Does she create the feeling of being watched? If so that isn't really scary some feel that way all the time. I guess if the feeling is the same that a hare would feeling being hunted by a tiger than it could be scary.  

[LP]

Fear- that's actually what I was trying to go for. ^^; I wasn't sure if that was a too strong of a fear to start with or just the normal 'paranoid' illusion of being followed/hunted was better.

As far as personality I'll try to see if I can't fix that. Maybe try to explain it better, or see if can't explain her better. o0;  

[Hes a Trap]

What I forgot to say before is that hunting creates many different feelings so you have a lot of wiggle room. It is hard to determine if the fear is to strong or to weak.  

[LP]

I tried to fix it. ^^; I redid the personality and attempted a retry at the fear...

If it doesn't work I can probably find something else to play with. I just thought this might be an interesting fear to play with.

Thoughts/comments/good/bad? >>; I'd like to hear them. ^^;  

[demon_pachabel]

How does Willow's FEAR assist her in any way? How can it be -applied- in battle? In what way can it be a status-effect that has a certain determinable effect?

ex; Cricket (the school nurse) has two FEARSs; She is both able to heal and poison. In the case of poisoning, she has to roll how many turns a -small- amount of damage is dealt.

Willow's fear seems like something that would psyche out a prey-creature, rather than some of the larger beasts who are intimidating enough on their own/are at the top of their food chains and have little worry about such things. Unfortunately -quite a few- students are school would be such, which sort of leaves the ability in general lacking.


Also, Demons aren't 100% required to have horns. I can count on at least one hand how many don't (Tristan (Wolf Demon), Remi (Kitsune), Sin (Succubus) for example....).  

[LP]

Thank you Pach~

I'm just having trouble actually thinking of fears and this happened to come to mind. I didn't realize there weren't many preys. ^^;

*edit* Decided to change her Race since like I noticed the mention of "too many demons"  

[cashmeresky]

She's pretty well thought out, and her race is so cool! I love the story you provided xD

If she is withdrawn, does she put her nature over her love of challenges? If someone challenges her, would she accept or would she decline because she would rather be on her own?

What kind of challenges does she like? Would she accomplish a challenge with a large crowd watching? Or is she more of a personal-achievement gal?

critback? -shot-

When did your heart go missing

 

[LP]

She's an old OC of mine, she's sorta hard to put down into words 'cause I've never had a real profile for her.

Basically the love of challenges over rides MOST of her withdrawn nature. She doesn't want to be totally alone of course she's just more comfortable in a crowd of two or three other people.

Large crowds tend to freak her out 'cause they get loud and stuff and she normally ends up getting all shy and running off to hide behind someone, hopefully away from said large crowd. Mainly yeah personal achievements but if she likes the challenge given to her she'll take it.

TL;RD It really seriously depends on the situation. I'm trying to leave the personality open enough that I can grow her through rp and let her do what she needs to in those situations where oocly I don't want to come up with scenarios on the spot and explain "This is how she'd react to them". Potentially it really depends on the rp and the scenario and a few other things as to what she'll do or won't do. I don't like just forcing stuff like that into profiles when I know myself it'll vary.  

[Pepzilla]

I literally just watched Pet Sematary the other night so I can feel a little bit of it paralleling with the idea of the vampire cat (or anything that involves taking a body to a place and returning not the same as vague as that sounds). However I'm feeling that I'm missing the connection between her as a character AND aesthetically to that of a vampire cat.

We all know by now pretty much anything malevolent in japanese lore is considered a demon but what you have here can be taken a number of ways, especially since you're obviously not going off the same storyline as the Vampire Cat from lore. I also understand that she is partially an OC which can make it really really hard to come up with something that you're ultimately satisfied with but from my outsider's opinion I can offer you this:

FEAR and Natural Ability: Because you're not sure about the subspecies, these can be completely tossed in a heartbeat. Shape shifters are demons and monsters territory so if you're still going to have shape shifting which is a direct link back to the vampire cat, then she should be a demon/monster. Right now you have her set as a ghost so a doppelganger would be the only real workable subspecies for a ghost. (Because to me the story vampire cat is not a ghost its a demon for sure). So from there I think you gotta figure out which it really is. If you're sticking with Demon, then that's okay keep the shape shifting, but as a ghost I feel that maybe her natural ability would have to waver towards something hmm.. see I don't know what to go on about here because I don't wanna nerf your FEAR to the natural ability.
As for her FEAR CURRENTLY I liked the note you sent me on the sort of twofaced/mirror effect and I like the idea of an opponent having to double take- that sort of feeling when you're drunk and your head moves but your eyes take a couple seconds to follow but by then your target is different. I wouldn't be too worried about her FEAR echoing her subspecies too much though since FEAR is a little different than the natural ability. But again, reconsider shapeshifting and the species in general because the way it is now from a quick glance I don't really know how to wrap my head around the GHOST of a vampire cat. =] Does that make sense?

Personality: I almost commented on the "shy in large groups" until I realized it was an surface trait. As long as she's not actually shy, I can't say it conflicts with the rest of her nature.
Why she enrolled- Its short but it is definitely better than her parents made her do it (I was one of these sorry folks that put that a while ago for bul). I want to know why she missed out though, does this have to do with the subspecies of being a ghost? I could... maybe see how that is by only a little bit but otherwise I don't think it would hold relevance. Because I haven't got a full backstory on her I wouldn't know (and this isn't a suggestion to write one, I think that would be a waste of time you don't want to seal your fate too much here) but expand some on why she has been missing out. All her life shes been good but now shes oooohoohoh what the hell? (excuse me while I go get flogged for the horrid song reference)

Aesthetically: I'm pretty sure you wont want to hear this but I'm not really digging her design at all on the 'aggressive' level. I think if you want to go for something a little more fearsome, try muted colors, maybe some scraggle, a more humanesque face in terms of the color patterning (as in the tiger patterning and colors fading away from it). Something I noticed about the vampire cat illustration was that it actually had almost-bat ears so something less cuddly and fluffy. It may be a little hokey but giving her cat eyes would actually enhance her design and is a really subtle thing that doesn't make her overtly animalistic.
As for her clothing pllleeeease dont go with anything punky short style kimono. If you go with traditional japanese wear for a creature like this, I'd advise it be really unpleasantly dusty or regal versus the jpop sort of feel. It works for some characters but for her I feel like it may be too far on the novelty side. If you go for something less traditional though I really like the pet examples' clothes that you provided. + of course darker colors, etc skully whatever.

Also is there a reason she is a TIGER vampire cat? I'm curious, it doesnt really bother me too much because you can make a tiger look seriously awesome. But also consider some of the other cat breeds and markings (tortiseshells?) that you could play with. Just incase you want to explore on that. Either way, tiger is fine by me really.

/deep breath

I really think that's all I gotta say. For me personality is always the hardest part to write versus the visual design and stuff so kudos to you there for having her relatively consistent. Ultimately, the personality can change the way people look at the character so just keep that in mind and don't let her stray too far on the kitten side. Cats are ******** mean as hell, I own cats and I love them but I hate hate hate cats because of how tormenting and taunting they can be so actually consider some of the stereotypes about cats from non-cat owners and apply them to this because you've got an animal species here that can be wicked unpleasant to bump into EVER.

I hope this helps hun and just remember that I have a very strong opinion on halloweeny scary stuff so keep that little disclaimer in mind <3 Good luck dear!  

[LP]

So I threw out the vampire cat subspecies, after thinking on it yeah that sorta didn't work the way I was hoping for it to. I'm more than happy to switch it out and play with it so I'm working on that two-faced idea. Obviously have to noodle with it. XD;

Shy really is a surface trait, because that's how she just comes off. I wasn't sure how else to write that because most anything else might come off as unsocial and 'hard to play'

You actually reminded me she does have a bit of a 'mean' streak when there's danger or she gets angry. XD; /fail. I knew I was missing something about her personality.

Eh the clothing, most of that is sort of here have something to play with, make it scarier if you want or design you're own sorta deal, but I can always go through and do a little redesign of her original 'adult' outfit to work with for this. ^^; I just didn't want to limit whoever eventually does her art when I manage to get her.

I'll probably play with the design a bit the cat eyes is a nice idea, as well as the 'fading' markings from her face. ^^  

[Marushii]

"Here bin! Bin bin bin! C'mere bin!" Red called, waving an enrollment form in front of the scragshole the mini-acceptance bin crawled off into. "C'mere bin!" She wiggled the the paper, trying to get its attention.

The miniature bin refused to move.

With an exasperated sigh, the werewolf stepped back away from the scragshole. She turned away and left, reappearing minutes later with a couple things. She set Willow's enrollment form on the ground, stepped back, and waited.