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 Posted: Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:29 am
I am not
like the wolf praising the moon,
like the vampire craving blood,
like the guilty man pleading innocents,
like the madman claiming sanity,
like the disease that is uncontrolled,
like the enemy who surrendered
I do not give praise as willingly as the wolf,
I do not crave as the vampire does,
I do not plea my innocents like the guilty,
I do not claim to be as the madman does,
I do not let myself be controlled as the disease eventually will,
I do not surrender as many before me have.
And this makes me your enemy
Stronger than you are lead to believe
Fear it
Fight it
Either way, you will lose
And it will not change me.
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Posted: Sun Aug 22, 2010 1:38 am
Quick comment:
All the "I do's" are redundant and add nothing to the point you're trying to make. You've already told the reader that you're not like the things you've listed, so restating it by saying "I do not" rather than "I am not" is pointless and drags the poem out longer than necessary. You could explain the "I am not" list further if you deem it necessary, but explain using poetic devices rather than simply restating your previous list.
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