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 Posted: Sat Feb 06, 2010 7:53 pm
If you could write a letter to Stephanie Meyer, what would you say? twisted
here's mine:
Dear Ms. Meyer,
I find it amusing that your "teen vampire romance saga" contains so few and so little vampires and romance. xd I mean, really. Do you think that your sparkly, vegetarian blood-drinking creations are vampires? Vampires do not sparkle. Nor are they "vegetarian." Nor do they fall in love with pathetic, self-insert Mary Sues! Also, the so-called romance in your books is as creepy as it gets. The main character, Stephanie Bella, is stalked by Edward, an unwashed sparkling old man in the body of a teenager, and then in some strange, twisted form of Stockholm Syndrome gets so attached to him that she throws herself off a cliff just to hear his voice in her head? neutral Do you really think that that's a good moral for today's youth, Ms. "Happily Married Mormon Housewife?" Oh, and let's not forget the last book, in which Edward and Bella have a demon child who practically kills Bella. To make matters worse, Jacob, yet another of Bella's stalkers, falls in love with the child! WTF?!
tl;dr Twilight is crap. Help save the brains of teenage girls and don't write anything else.
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 2:59 pm
I'm going to assume that these letters actually get past the Seth filter? Quote: Hello Stephenie, I am writing to inform you on my opinion of your book Twilight. I only say Twilight and not The Twilight "Saga" because I only read part of the first one. As well received as your book appears to be, and how Seth makes it seem like nobody hates you, the real world is a cruel, cruel place. Your unique, or shall I say stupid portrayal of vampires has angered a lot of people. Call us demons, monsters, whatever you wish, but it does not change the fact that even though we are demons, the causalities amongst our numbers is far too great. Yes, there has been death over what you dare to call a book. To think this all could have been avoided. Yes, avoided. All you needed to do was a bit more research on the vampire-creature. Yes, you're allowed to be creative, but while in this creative state, you need to stop and think about just how far you can go before the creature isn't anything like what its associated with. Another solution would have been to give them an entirely different name. Most people wouldn't have nearly as much as a reaction. I have one last thing to say: get a proper editor and learn to ******** proofread. Good day. 
Ω
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 6:57 pm
Dear Mrs.Meyer,
I'm writing on behalf of everyone who dislikes your books. I have read Twilight, and personally, I wasn't impressed. I thought it was over-rated.
Your series may be "creative", but it was also rediculously lame. Vampires do not sparkle. To think they would is insanley stupid. Your sparklepires are closer to fairys with an animal blood fetish than vampires.
You should also know that its painfully obvious that Bella is a self-insert. She was you in disguise, just admit it. I know it, you know it; the only one's who don't seem to know it are your fangirls.
Don't even get me started on that gawd awful mess, Breaking Dawn. As if it wasn't already obvious that Bella was being emotionally abused by Edward, you had him BRUISE HER WHILE HAVING SEX. Then the illogical demon child nearly KILLS BELLA on it way out. That's not romantic, that's horrorfying.
Now I hear your planning a book about time traveling mermaids? Please, for the love of God, just stop. Mermaids would never, logically, time travel. Please don't kill my favorite mythical creature with your vile spew.
Yours Truely,
{insert real name here}
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Posted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 7:09 pm
Here's mine:
Dear Mrs. Meyer,
I find your Twilight series to be so bloody annoying. It's not a really good series. All I see there are Mary Sues and Gary Stus. You madam, do need to research stuff before you write. Your lack of research makes me sick. Your series doesn't contain romance, but pure unadulterated lust! Edward is a stalker, while Bella is so fueled by her lust for Edward, that she puts herself in idiotic situations. Do you think it's a good thing? Sadly for you, it's not. Another thing, how in the hell can Bella get pregnant off Edward when Edward is already undead? How dare you glorify him? Besides, Jacob falls in lust with the resulting child, and you say it's beautiful? How dare you?
Long story short, Twilight is not a good creation, and please save the world by not making things worse with your idiocy.
Stephenie Meyer deserves to read that letter herself.
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 1:32 am
I like Shadow's the best. I'm sorry but the rest are just rehashing and restating the same thing (Bella being a Mary Sue/Self-insert, Bella and Edward having a "demon spawn" baby, vampires not being able to sparkle, and the vampires not being real vampires). If anything you might want to try adding something else like how her sexist views are setting the independant woman image in books back by a hundreds of years. Or that her portrayal of a perfect handsome man is giving false hope to young girls or making it impossible for young men to have a normal relationship with this unachievable image girls now have about them.
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 2:50 pm
Though I respect your creative liberties and beliefs, Twilight just aint my kind of book. T'was shallow, and dare I say anti-feminist when you take the Mormon symbolism into account and the unhealthy relationships that can come with that. The characters weren't developed through their actions but rather their words; by needlessly slapping lines and YOUR ideals unto husks, which even in writing holds less value and does not convince the reader. Like I've said, I respect your creative liberties. Hell, I wouldn't give a damn if your beast was a flying unicorn,if only the book as a whole had merit. The self insert thing with Bella was kinda weak too, but I an see how it's a great selling point in that females can place themselves in the position of that benign little dope. The 'plot' was just...oi vey, Mrs. Needs more meat, man! Instead of "mediocre chick meets perfecto man/self-loathing f*****t", you could complicate it with, perhaps, a sense of camaraderie and more complex motives and antagonists. And watch those adjectives, they really clog it up. Write concisely and to the point! Long days and pleasant nights.
Sincerely,
Natalie
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 3:10 pm
your book twilight is somewhat interesting but i must complain that it makes most teenagers turn away from the books about dracula and the wolfman and stop thinking of vampires and werewolves as scary and into 'OH! i wish i could marry edward and jacob! vampires and werewolves are soo cute! heart not scary at all!' it just makes my stomache turn, on how you turn most young teens from the good literature to books about phoney make believe things like mary sue bella who can't get a life, phoney edward who makes me wanna laugh at how stupid he is, and jacob who seems to stalk everyone he sees AND is in love with bellas child!! and how you make the things said to be scary into almost harmless things in almost a parody of yours! madame, you make me sick. i'd advise you not to write anymore of your sick fantasies and do us all still not brainwashed from your last fantasy a favor please.
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Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:34 pm
To Mrs. Stephenie ******** you!
Sincerely,
My Name heart
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:34 pm
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
Thank you for destroying society and all forms of intelligence as we know it.
With Spite,
Jerba.
~Also, just so you know, it turns out SMeyer doesn't actually read her hate mail. She throws it out or lets someone else read it or something.
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:24 pm
Pumkinn To Mrs. Stephenie Meyer,
******** you!
Sincerely,
My Name heart lol thts the best 1 i've seen here!! xd
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 2:43 pm
Mrs. Meyer,
Go get a real job and stop destroying literature.
With love,
[INSERT NAME HERE]
On a side note:
Your not serious about the time traveling mermaids, are you?
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:00 pm
Jerba ~Also, just so you know, it turns out SMeyer doesn't actually read her hate mail. She throws it out or lets someone else read it or something. Sounds like a politician. She could run for an office like that. Dear Stephenie Meyer, Tinkerbell wants the sparkles you borrowed back. - [insert name] Everyone took all the good stuff.
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:19 pm
It's not like she would read it, but...
Dear Mrs. Meyer,
Please take Primary School English again. I think you missed it.
Sincerely,
(Insert Flan's true name here)
All done!
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Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 3:53 pm
Its not really a letter as much as it is a suggestion...
"Dear" Stephanie Meyers,
Why dont you go do the Bella and jump off a cliff... Maybe mr. Eddykins wil save you. (Hopefully not)
Love,
Lucifers Banana
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