Welcome to Gaia! ::

I know, I want to keep it confidential. So I'll cut out some of the more personal things. This is just for you guys to get an idea of what the author of TwiLite (a parody) is like.

Also: it read from bottom to top. You know how AOL is.
I pray to the anti-Twilight gods that I will be forgiven for betraying good Steve Jenner!

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Well, not only is she like a little obedient dog running between her two boyfriends, but she acts completely submissive to them (Edward, really) and seems not to have any free will. Her life is completely influenced by external affairs and Edward's whim. (Also: I could care less about the ending of Harry Potter, so feel free to make references).

And YES, I have Twilight discussions pouring out of my ears. My conclusion, on Charlie's part, is that he is completely incompetent as a parent figure. (I loved the line about Stella's option of just taking a firearm from an unknowing parent. SO precious).
And have you noticed (I know, you have) that Bella does EVERYTHING for her father?? Hello: sexist roles?? But of course, you'd get that from any religious-cuckoo author who's completely oblivious to all ideas of feminism whatsoever.

I have covered almost every Twilight argument there is to cover. It all ends with a logical answer on the anti side and something like "It's true love!" or "It's just fantasy!" on the pro side. It seems that overzealous Twilighters are so enthralled in the series that they have lost all sense of logic. It's a sad, sad world we live in.

Haley

-----Original Message-----

I thought the Stephen King vs. Stephenie M. was an interesting tiff. She does know20here audience well, though, and they seem quite pleased. But one of her books - I forget which - Bella went back and forth to Edward and Jacob so many times, it was like watching a tennis game, and I just started to roll my eyes. BUT, you make an excellent point, one which the love-struck readers simply overlook: Can't Bella survive without having at least one boyfriend? And how do the teen guys feel about this as well: If you are simply human, well, you are lame. Girls, don't settle for anything less than a super-stud, and stalk them, and play one against the other, until one is left standing! A great love story shows us why two people fall for each other: I guess I was
never really convinced - beyond the physiological drive, that is - that the two of them were meant for each other? I also think she disappointed some of her fans by having everything end so nice and tidy and convenient for everyone. In Harry Potter (spoiler alert!) things didn't end up perfectly for everyone, which gave it a sense of truth/realism.

On one blog, I saw the question thrown out: "Is Charlie a good father?" I thought that was a no-brainer, "Hell no!" But, the people responding all thought he was a great dad. Why say that? For one, we don't know why he and his wife got divorced (was one to blame more than the other?) He is pretty clueless of eve
nts unfolding around him. Yes, he does give her plenty of space to do as she wants to. But why would anyone think that he is a really good dad? What makes him a good dad? Again, through the young readers' eyes, everything that a protagonists does is ...perfect...and we should not question it. (Now, let me get off my soapbox. You got me all worked up!) I imagine you've had these type of discussions with others as well?

I don't know all the details of how nephew made the cover, beyond: he did take a photograph of a female friend of his. He then used some fancy software to crop it into the black background, and somehow added the change. So, it didn't start with photoshop - it started from scratch - but certainly there was some things cut/pasted to make the final product. (On the inside of the cover I do give him photo credit - Michael Lado).

Its all a mystery to me. (shrug)

- Steve

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I've heard of Nightlight! But I can't remember the idea behind it...

But back to vampires, I think some vampires can just be too overdone. Meyer was the one who turned vampires into X-men. But people like Broker and King know how to do it right, in my opinion. To quote King, "Meyer20can't write worth a darn." And, as you have proven, she can't.

And you know, I've seen tons of parody covers but I think the money in the hands is one of the best. Your nephew did an excllent job on the cover! Did he take a new picture (with someone posing with the hands) or did he use photoshop (or something of the
sorts)? If it's the latter, I find it quite impressive. It looks so good!

And, to be honest, I am an anti-Twilighter. Power to feminists! After looking at all the sexist undertones, I just couldn't take it any longer. I lost faith in Meyer's work the day I finished Twilight. Have you caught the abusive and sexist undertones? Stalking, much? I'd like to write a parody centered on that but it seems a bit to abstract. A helplessly dependent young female as the main character, and a super-obvious abuser as her boyfriend. (Then again, that's already been written). What do you think?

Haley

-----Original Message-----

Hi,

Well, YOUR vampires just don't seem to be20as "perfect" as the modern day ones -- you know, handsome, intelligent, love spending time in the sun, say and do all the right things...are you saying that YOUR vampires actually act like....vampires? Oh, my!

I think we know how annoying it would be to describe E
dweird's perfection literally every other sentence. So, now and then should do it, just to remind the readers, in case they forgot, of course.

I'm glad you like the cover! We kicked around some ideas (including apple core, which has been done a lot; also elements from Stephenie's 4 books, such as two chess pieces fighting inside the open hands, one choking the other with a ribbon while the other piece throws a flower (or something along those lines; and of course something with money). My college-aged nephew is an extremely talented artist, so in the
end I told him to design something that he thought looked the best, and the cover you see is what we got. I think he did a great job with it (I was hoping to see the two chess pieces fighting it out on the bottom of the cover, but I think what he did has nice balance to it).

Well, I guess I'm very neutral about Twilight. First of all, I don't know any guys my age who are "fans" of it -- actually, most have never heard of it in the first place. So, wouldn't it be 'scary' if someone like me were in love with Bella or Edwa
rd? Yikes. Second, I think the books are all too long -- I imagine since the Twilight sold a trillion copies no editor was allowed to suggest changing a word for any other books she's written. So, I had to quickly fast-forward through some parts of the Saga that
just (for me) seemed repetitive. BUT, Ms Meyer did something right, no doubt, for millions of people to adore her books as
they do. So, I'll simply say that it is not for me (nor was it meant for me) but if anyone wants to fall in love with it, by all means!, have at it! (Was that politically correct enough for you? I do work in Washington, DC., so political correctness is second nature smile )

Finally, last week I discovered that a new Twilight parody is coming out in a few weeks, and you can already pre-order it ("Nightlight" A Parody) and just this morning I first saw a New Moon parody will also go on sale soon ("New Moan"). So, we suddenly have company. Rats. The first book may end up being good, just based on the introduction. The New Moan -hmmm - too silly? We will see.

- Steve

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Oh, the ways I could waste my time!
Although, that's how people get all the money. Great cover, by the way. Did you come up with it?

I'd like the parody to be short because as soon as 'Beth' and 'Ward' get into a relationship, he kills her. That's what a real vampire would do.

Also: Stella said in the beginning (I believe) that she'd be describing Edweird in every other sentence. What happened with that? Too annoying?

One last thing I want to cover... (I know, I'm getting annoying). Are you pro-Twilight, anti or neutral?

-----Original Message-----

My dog Eddie is a mix breed - part Boston terrier, part who knows?. He's also a jerk. Maybe we made him a jerk by naming him Eddie. Hard to say, but I wouldn't rule it out.

You know, you could extend your 3-page parody into, oh, perhaps 50 pages: Just describe how perfect Ward is every time Beth sees him. EVERY time, over and over and over again. And when you're done, see it again, over and over. And millions of people will fall in love and adore you, too, for writing the most romantic thing ever written. Ever.

Of course, I'm just rambling here. Nothing like that would ever get published. smile <--(I didn't notice that the first time!!)

Steve

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Oh, God, I could not live with an animal named Edward! XD

And by real vampire, I mean, like, Dracula, or 30 Days of Night. Not real. You know.

Also: The story name I chose for him was Ward. As for the girl, I chose Beth as a shortened 'Elizabeth'.

Haylay

PS As you may have already concurred, I am not a Twilight fan. Ugh, I hate it when I see dumb Twilight accessories everywhere! I think reading your book has been a great therapy for me.

-----Original Message-----

Hi Haley,

When I was growing up, about a hundred years ago, Steve was actually a very common name. It's kind of died down since then. Maybe "Edward" is the new common name these days (no joke: my 1-year old dog's name is "Eddie", named after you-know-who. My wifes' idea, not mine. How sad is that? sigh)..

Correct me if I'm wrong. But isn't Edward a "real" vampire (from a literary perspective, that is)? Are you talking "real" as in walks the earth among us? If so, I think you could probably stretch a few more pages out of this story smile Either way, I promise not to steal your ideas -- but you got to put them down on paper,
too!=C
2

Steeeeve

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I hate to keep bothering you! And yeah, I loved Harley. It's also a strange thing you mentioned the parody almost wrote itself... Sometimes I like to say Twilight is it's own parody!

(I also wrote a very short one... about three pages... where Edward was a real vampire. You can guess why it's only three pages.)

O.O don't steal my ideas, though!

Haleeey

-----Original Message-----

Hi Haley (I love that name, by the way),

Thanks for the kind words! I really do appreciate it.

By all means, you should try to write a parody yourself. I thought Twilight was ripe for a parody, and it almost wrote itself. New Moon and the other books will be harder to parody, I think, but maybe you have the talent for it. Never know until you try!

Also: Right back at ya! smile

Sincerely,
Steve

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Also: Forgot to mention...

Love ya!! smile
And great job on the book! I was planning on writing a parody too but that was just p
recious. XD

Goobyes! & thankyoo!

Haley

-----Original Message-----

Hi Haley,

Good catch. We'll have to include that in our next
update. But glad you got the
reference...

Thanks,
Steve

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You forgot to put A Day in the Life in your playlist. Yes, I got the reference.
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I'm Haley and he's Steve! how hard can that be? gonk

Well I only read the first part and posted out of confusion.

Updated again. wink

Read from his post that has "Nightlight" in it.

Did he mention anything about Brazil not having a West coast? Ironically, it has every other coast.