Let's give her a pat on the back.
Part of the Awesomeness
The article this list is from is only one of many that look just like it. (The wording in bold is the authors, while the normal wording is my own)
Abusive Men: Top 10 Signs of an Abusive Man
1. Jealousy & Possessiveness – Becomes jealous over your family, friends, co-workers. Tries to isolate you. Views his woman and children as his property instead of as unique individuals. Accuses you of cheating or flirting with other men without cause. Always asks where you’ve been and with whom in an accusatory manner.
Edward always asks Bella about the other boys, and is intent on making sure that Bella remains his and only his despite her only being seventeen years old. However, his jealousy is not as evident in Twilight as it is in other books in the series.
2. Control – He is overly demanding of your time and must be the center of your attention. He controls finances, the car, and the activities you partake in. Becomes angry if woman begins showing signs of independence or strength.
Although more subtle, he begins to isolate Bella from her friends and family and becomes Bella’s entire center of attention. He constantly demands to know where she goes, and who she goes with, and doesn’t seem to have enough confidence in Bella to make the right choices or fend for herself.
A common argument used by fans is that he is protective because Bella is clumsy. While Bella may be uncoordinated (and is apparently so intent on reminding us of it), he is about as protective of Bella as we are of our pets. But a dog is a dog, and Bella is a human, capable of making her own choices without running out into the middle of traffic like a pet would. Edward simply turns her into a damsel in distress.
3. Superiority – He is always right, has to win or be in charge. He always justifies his actions so he can be “right” by blaming you or others. A verbally abusive man will talk down to you or call you names in order to make himself feel better. The goal of an abusive man is to make you feel weak so they can feel powerful. Abusers are frequently insecure and this power makes them feel better about themselves.
“…To make you feel weak so they can feel powerful…” That’s Edward all the way. Like I said before, Edward turns Bella into a damsel in distress. He over-protects her and controls her to the point where Bella feels like she couldn’t walk two steps without needing him to save her.
4. Manipulates – Tells you you’re crazy or stupid so the blame is turned on you. Tries to make you think that it’s your fault he is abusive. Says he can’t help being abusive so you feel sorry for him and you keep trying to “help” him. Tells others you are unstable.
Not too much manipulation going on… yet. Not in the first book, at least.
5. Mood Swings – His mood switches from aggressive and abusive to apologetic and loving after the abuse has occurred.
“I love you!” “I’m dangerous!” “I love you!” “I’m dangerous!” “I love you!” This one describes him the best. He makes her heart dance one second, and then kills her hopes the next.
6. Actions don’t match words – He breaks promises, says he loves you and then abuses you.
Despite constantly telling her that he loves her and adores her, he’s always there, taking over her life.
7. Punishes you – An emotionally abusive man may withhold sex, emotional intimacy, or plays the “silent game” as punishment when he doesn’t get his way. He verbally abuses you by frequently criticizing you.
He constantly withholds physical contact with Bella. As I will comment next, if he really loved and wanted to protect Bella, he would leave her alone instead of putting her through an emotional rollercoaster. But then again, if she was smart, she’d leave him.
8. Unwilling to seek help – An abusive man doesn’t think there is anything wrong with him so why should he seek help? Does not acknowledge his faults or blames it on his childhood or outside circumstances.
Edward constantly blames things on his vampirism, when, if he really loved and wanted to protect Bella, would simply leave her alone. He also definitely does not acknowledge his faults.
9. Disrespects women – Shows no respect towards his mother, sisters, or any women in his life. Thinks women are stupid and worthless.
This isn’t Edward’s style. It’s too straightforward.
10. Has a history of abusing women and/or animals or was abused himself – Batterers repeat their patterns and seek out women who are submissive and can be controlled. Abusive behavior can be a generational dysfunction and abused men have a great chance of becoming abusers. Men who abuse animals are much more likely to abuse women also.
In order to give Edward the perfect family, this isn’t applicable to him.
