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Who was the best comedian of Week 7? |
Marin1 |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
God-s Hitman |
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30% |
[ 3 ] |
Demonlady33 |
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20% |
[ 2 ] |
Prillupop |
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20% |
[ 2 ] |
Charmed352 |
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10% |
[ 1 ] |
Cole1220 |
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10% |
[ 1 ] |
MSh3pard |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
Silverfang the Cursed |
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10% |
[ 1 ] |
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Total Votes : 10 |
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 9:33 am
The winner of week 6 will be decided by monday. Week 7 is mildly here so you can start your jokes whe you are ready. The winners of week 6 are Demonlady33, Silverfang the cursed, and msh3pard. Dont forget to vote monday.
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 10:35 am
A man was sitting at the bar in a watering hole whose selling point was that it was on top of the largest skyscraper in town.
Another man walks in and asks the bartender for a Jack Daniel's. He downs it, and then takes a running leap out the window.
Much to everybody's surprise, he floats back up and climbs through the window back into the bar.
The man at the bar is amazed and asks the man how he did it.
"Easy," says the man. "Outside this window are some very strong wind currents which can carry you back to the window."
"Wow," says the man at the bar. "I gotta try this." He takes a running leap out the window and falls to a horrible, bloody, and flat death.
"Geez, Superman," says the bartender. "You can be a real a jerk when you're drunk."
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Posted: Sun Dec 02, 2007 1:17 pm
An african ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best hospitality that Russia had to offer.
On the last day of his visit, the Russian ambassador said, "As your stay is coming to an end, it's time for you to play our traditional game, Russian roulette. One of the six chambers of this gun is loaded - you spin the cylinder, point the gun at your head, and pull the trigger."
This phased the African slightly, but he was a proud man of a warrior people, and to show fear would be unthinkable. Both men took their guns, spun, and pulled the triggers.
Both chambers were empty, and both ambassadors breathed a sigh of relief.
The African ambassador was impressed with the couragous game, and thought hard about the subject before the Russian Ambassador was due to visit his country the next year.
When the visit came, the African ambassador treated the Russian with all hospitality, until the final day of his stay. Leading him to a private room in the palace, the African ambassador spoke, "Now, time for you to sample our game, African roulette". He then led the Russian into the room, the only occupants of which were six stunning and naked women.
The African ambassador said, "These women are the most beautiful members of one of our tribes. Any one of them will give you a oral sex - take your pick".
The Russian was not entirely averse to this idea, but he couldn't see the connection with Russian Roulette. He said, "Well, ok, great, but where's the roulette part? Where's the danger?"
With a big grin on his face, the African ambassador answered:
"One of them's a cannibal."
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Posted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:06 pm
There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:55 am
A man and his wife are enjoying a quiet evening at home. They are having some wine when the husband looks at his wife and says "I bet you can't say something that will make me both happy and sad." The wife thinks about this for a minute and finally looks at her husband and says "Your p***s is bigger than your brothers."
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:31 pm
BLONDE JOKE theres a blonde,brunette, and a redhead and they are all on death row and just about to take their turn to be put to death
so the brunette comes out and the judge asks if she has any final words and she says no so the judge says ready....set.. then the brunette yells hurricane and everyone freaks out and she escapes
then the redhead come out and the judge asks if she has any final words and she says no so the judge says ready...set.... then the redhead yells tornado and everyone freaks out and she escapes
finally the blonde comes out and hearing what the other 2 said she had the perfect thing to say so the judge asks if she has any final words and she says no so the judge says ready...set... and the blonde yells fire and so she dies if u dont understand and wanna know just PM me
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 5:29 pm
ok so a guy and his wife go shopping for the latest computer and go home to set it up. his wife makes a profile perfectly without a hassle. the husband makes a username and for his password he clearly presses the keys so his wife could see what he was typing so he types in P Then, E then, N then, I then, S then he goes to click enter to accept the password the computer responds saying "(Sorry too short)" the wife falls to the floor laughing histerically
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Posted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 10:33 pm
There once was a lady who was tired of living alone. So she put an ad in the paper which outlined her requirements. She wanted a man who 1) would treat her nicely, 2) wouldn't run away from her, and 3) would be good in bed. Then, one day, she heard the doorbell ring. She answered it, and there on the front porch was a man in a wheel chair who didn't have any arms or legs.
"I'm here about the ad you put in the paper. As you can see, I have no arms so I can't beat you, and I have no legs so I can't run away from you."
"Yes, but are you good in bed?"
"How do you think I rang the doorbell?" wink
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 2:37 pm
A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. Well, without a second thought he takes off after her (like who wouldn't). A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself with a nod, I like the way this company does business. For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he has lost 10 pounds. Deciding that he likes his somewhat more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 LB weight loss program. He thinks that losing 20 pounds in only 5 days seems like a lot, but he is intrigued by what their workout schedule might be like this time. As expected, the next day there comes a knock at his door. When he answers it there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck. She is simply stunning, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If you can catch me, you can have me. He's out the door like a shot. This gal is in excellent shape and it takes a while to catch her. But when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She is wonderful, the best he has ever had. He is really looking forward to the next four days... For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time, much to his delight. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds. I love this company, he thinks to himself, I never knew losing weight could be so easy and so much fun. Feeling much better about himself, he decides to go for broke and subscribe to the companies 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program. Are you sure, sir? asks the representative on the phone. This is our most rigorous program. Absolutely, says he, I love your program. haven't felt this good in years! The next day there comes a knock at his door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands before him a 200 pound perfect specimen of a man dressed in nothing but racing spikes and a sign around his neck. He introduces himself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, If I can catch you, I can have you.
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Posted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 7:27 pm
Wow. You guys sure have some funny jokes.
@Silverfang: I really like yours. It makes me laugh. Lol.
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Posted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 9:51 am
whi73ra6617 Wow. You guys sure have some funny jokes. @Silverfang: I really like yours. It makes me laugh. Lol. Thank you sir, I try.
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