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[REVISIONS] Character Revision Thread Goto Page: [] [<] 1 2 3 ... 4 5 6 7 8 9 ... 13 14 15 16 [>] [>>] [»|]

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MoonKitsune

Romantic Exhibitionist

PostPosted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 10:46 am


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Captain Wolframite
Reason for Revision: Corruption, vow to Queen, half-youmafication
Revisions Requested:

Removing:

Flaws:

An Eye for an Eye: Toren holds grudges, and when he does, it is hard for him to change his mind. Forgiveness is not his forte, and he will usually seek some sort of revenge for a wrong he has seen someone commit against him or others he is loyal to. This can lead to extremes where he focused too hard one a single wrong and unless directed to stop and told it isn't worth his ultimatum, he will hunt down the culprits through hell and high water to get back at them. Toren has had friends and even Wyatt attempt to turn his focus away from what he has considered a challenge or a offense to his person during conversations and has had to quell his temper.

Flaw - As You Command:
Wolframite has lost everything due to his own decisions and now having his last chance thanks to General Faustite and Queens Laurelite, has surrendered himself to the commands and orders of his superiors. Taking their judgement and decisions as above his own, whatever personal beliefs and feelings he has in the matter are second to this of any commanding officer, the Queen, and the will of the Negaverse. Even if it would place him or those he cares about in danger. Anyone hoping to have Wolframite in their corner to challenge a command will find themselves standing alone. Whatever personal feelings or beliefs he has he knows are probably a mistake and wrong. He'd rather leave it to those who have better track records then him. This makes him second guess himself and leaves him looking for affirmation from others to assure him he isn't making another damaging mistake. He is less likely to utter his own thoughts if he feels they could be incriminating or corrupt others to bad habits.

Replacing weapon with youma abilities that we're approved by staff.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2019 12:29 am


The Space Cauldron

MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Sheldon Hobbes
Reason for Revision: It's been a few years, so I figured I should revamp his profile a bit. He's not too vastly different, just reworded and just as much a pile of trash. But, added a new hobby!
Revisions Requested:
new hobby:
SCIENCE!--
Though he didn't find his career in his ideal area of focus, science holds a tight grasp on Sheldon's heart. It was something he always grew up with, thanks to his parents in their chosen fields, and it is not something that could easily be let go. Its one of the few things Sheldon takes an active interest in, even to go outside to public places to view planetary science activities and view feats of humanity as they reach for the stars. (You know Sheldon, you could also just go to space...)


Old personality quirks:
VIRTUES:

Eidetic Memory ... yeah-- Sheldon has something called Eidetic memory, something in the sorts of total recall or a perfect memory. He's able to remember anything he's heard in perfect detail, and a slight ability to remember things he's seen; but given he barely pays attention to his surroundings and isn't very observant, this ability is very untapped and unused. This is probably the only way he's able to pass any of his classes, using this ability to scrap by on tests - he never does homework - as he watches a lot of television; like game shows, playing trivial pursuit or managing to leave the television on the Discovery of History channels. Doesn't work so well in math though, no one ever has math shows or talks about math related things besides Big Bang Theory.

McGuyver without all the tools-- With all the games he plays, especially ones like chess and risk and given his should be high IQ, Sheldon is pretty quick on his feet and able to figure out how to get himself out of a pinch. Strategy is probably his strongest suit, given he's needed to get himself out of binds for as long as he's driven his life into the ground.

Pretty easy going-- On first sight, people would think he was high or stoned. They would probably be right, and would probably not either deny or agree as he has a stupid smile plastered on his face. He doesn't care about anything, let's everything roll off him like it was nothing, especially when people yell at him. He could even be a good friend to people if he wasn't such a good for nothing antisocial p***k.

'Cause sometimes he does have a heart-- He might seem like the type of guy that would want to leave you high and dry, but he isn't just going to let someone else take the fall with him if the situation calls for it; he'll get everyone else scott-free and be the one the one to take all the blame or lose a limb. This is probably one of his only redeeming qualities his long list of flaws.
You are on your own if he doesn't like you though.

FLAWS:

Lazy son of a b***h-- Sheldon really just doesn't care anymore, and would rather just sit all day doing nothing but stare at the walls or fill the room with the sweet aroma of a good batch of weed. He can sit, sleep and waste space all day if he was able.

A bit on the antisocial side-- The boy has major trust issues, having been burned by so many people in the past so he chooses not to even try, which also just be him lazy ... but more of the growing dislike for people. He'll speak to people if he needs to, for projects that he'll make someone else do instead, but won't tend to engage or start small talk to fill the silence. He likes to be left alone.

Such wasted potential-- He was molded since childhood to learn Physics and the natural sciences just like his parents. They figured their talents should be his, and he had a knack for it, what with his memory retaining and actual general like for it. This was until he got into a huge fight with his friends and ended up falling into the wrong crowd after their little breakup. He fell in with the slackers the dope heads who pretty much just messed him up and lead him into this current way of life; not caring, not doing anything, causing his parents problems and getting addicted to nicotine and the like.
He was honestly going to get sent to Hillworth, but his parents though guilt might set him back on the right track and stop him from his self destruction... but sadly, it didn't and he just doesn't seem to care.

The little crack that just needs a little push-- So many years of repressing the anger with his friends, his then so called friends and his parents. The guilt over what he's put his parents through and how they just keep trying, it sadly just gets pushed down by that anger and the need to just not think or care. But deep down, there is a little crack that wants to open and wants him to get back to the way he was; a loving son and the friend people would appreciate. But he just will never let it, so he pushes people away to that antisocial behavior because he doesn't want them to know that he is hurting and that perhaps he does want healing.
It comes out in small ways though, taking his tests to pass his classes so his parents' money doesn't go to waste and even small little deeds he'll do anonymously for classmates and total strangers.


revamped personality that's not really all different:
Quick thinking--
Sheldon is pretty good with critical thinking and being just quick on his feet (not … physically) when it comes to situations; he's gotta figure out some way to get out of some of his problems (like Karen's office baby shower and that whole.. powered up form thing).

Pretty easy going--
Things often just roll of Sheldon's back, be it insults or weird looks or gossip. He's pretty go with the flow, shrug in your general direction and could even maybe be considered mellow if it wasn't for his active avoidance of many things. If he didn't dislike social interactions to much, he probably would be a pretty good friend.

There's still a heart in there... somewhere--
Despite everything, Sheldon isn't the type of person to leave anyone high and dry... completely. He doesn't mind being the fall guy because he doesn't tend to let things get to him (except that whole powered thing. And Ellie Spectre). And if in a life or death situation he will maybe try to help if he can make sure he will manage to get out of it alive.

FLAWS:

Lazy son of a b***h--
His dream is to do nothing, even after so long. Its a wonder he found a job really, but Sheldon will do the bare minimum if he needs to (or sometimes, if he knows he has to push it in order to then do nothing, he'll do it). Doing nothing is great.

A bit on the antisocial side--
He's not really a people person and if he can go on without his day without interacting with a single one of them then life is magical. He'll speak to them if he really has to but his trust issues have traveled long with him and he just really dislikes people.

Such wasted potential--
He still is, always will be. If only that anger from teen hood didn't morph into a state of indifference and a state of lethargy. Sheldon could have maybe done something a little more with his life. Not to say it's too late, the spark is still sort of there, it just needs a little bit of a push.


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chirigami

Swashbuckling Sentai


chirigami

Swashbuckling Sentai

PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2019 12:35 am


The Space Cauldron

MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Ridley Pendergast
Reason for Revision: She's not 9 anymore [I still cry]. So, things needed to make more sense for a (still dumb) teenager. So, personality, a bit of hobby stuff and some thinking aloud for full upgrade senshi stuff.
Link to Old Profile: Hygiea ahoooy
Link to Revised Profile: blurbblurbblurb
PostPosted: Tue Mar 19, 2019 1:56 pm


I'VE GOT DOUBTS AGAIN, SO LET'S IGNORE THIS

Kapoodles

Battle-ready Waffles


Pixie Nyxie

Adorable Waffles

14,125 Points
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 21, 2019 9:17 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Eternal Corrupt Sailor Adamantine
Reason for Revision: Underpowered Eternal attack compared to her Basic and Super
Revisions Requested:

Removing:

Eternal Sailor Attack: Stardust's Frozen Storm
Interamnia claps her hands together as she calls her attack, summoning a shower of blue and silver dust. As it hits the target, it feels like a Ice cold burn, like a freezing shower of rain. the Dust instantly fades as soon as it touches an object OR the time has run out, otherwise it remains stangent in the air. It last 30 seconds with a range of 7 foot radius around her (AoE), and can be used 2 times. It is avoidable by stepping out of range or if you are an agent of Chaos (DMC/NEGA).

Adding:

Eternal Sailor Attack: Stardust Bite

Adamantine calls out her attack and moves her hand into a slicing motion. From that comes a condensed blade of stardust. This attack can range up to 15 feet directly in front of where she makes the slashing motion. When the blade hits, it causes a frozen like sensation that can, up to player discretion, cause freezer burn welts or small lacerations with freezing hot sensations. This attack is not lethal and the freezer burn last up to 30 seconds after it hits. Uses: 2 (It is up to player discretion if this attack last longer outside of battle or has carries over from powered form.)



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 08, 2019 3:00 pm


The Space Cauldron

MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Laurence Liebel
Reason for Revision: Purification
Revisions Requested:

Civilian name is now Loren Lieberman (approved by Orange to share the last name)
He is now Neptune Squire Ammersee

Squire
Weapon: Miniature Trident; this it is three pronged and about three feet long; it is teal and gold with the symbol of Neptune. The edges are dulled and not sharp enough to do stabbing or slicing damage; it is ornamental only. Small bells are attached.
Magic: Ammersee swings the trident and a tinkling, chime like sound echoes through the air. For as long as he is channeling his magic, all targets within a ten foot range will continue to hear the chiming and find themselves lost in a strange illusion. Everything around them will appear to darken and ripple, as they are trapped in a vortex of water and cut off from the outside world. The bells will continue chiming melodically, however with more intensity the longer he channels it. The music can cause a sense of alarm and concern; targets cannot see or hear clearly and it feels as though the water is crushing down on them. At player discretion it can give the impression of sinking or drowning, and they can choose to utilize actual water that lingers after the magic ends if desired. The magic will follow targets as they move and each individual target is trapped for the duration of magic. He can channel his magic for up to forty seconds at this stage.

Knight
Weapon: Trident; this it is three pronged and about five and a half feet long; it is teal and gold with the symbol of Neptune. The edges are dulled and not sharp enough to do stabbing or slicing damage; it is ornamental only. It is more ornate than his Squire stage. Small bells are attached.
Magic: Ammersee swings the trident and a tinkling, chime like sound echoes through the air. For as long as he is channeling his magic, all targets within a ten foot range will continue to hear the chiming and find themselves lost in a strange illusion. Everything around them will appear to darken and ripple, as they are trapped in a vortex of water and cut off from the outside world. The bells will continue chiming melodically, however with more intensity the longer he channels it. The music can cause a sense of alarm and concern; targets cannot see or hear clearly and it feels as though the water is crushing down on them. At player discretion it can give the impression of sinking or drowning, and they can choose to utilize actual water that lingers after the magic ends if desired. The magic will follow targets as they move and each individual target is trapped for the duration of magic. He can channel his magic for up to sixty seconds at this stage.

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Kyuseisha no Hikari

Crew

Dragonslaying Dragon


Sunshine Alouette

Eternal Senshi

PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2019 9:17 pm


The Space Cauldron

MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Lovely Belrose
Reason for Revision: I've had him for almost five years and he's changed quite a bit in that time.
Link to Old Profile: [X]
Link to Revised Profile: [X]

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2019 5:21 pm


The Space Cauldron

MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Fawn Bellerose // Corrupt Super Sailor Xenia
Reason for Revision: Siiiideswap!
Link to Old Profile: [x]
Link to Revised Profile: [x]

Noir Songbird
APPROVED


Noir Songbird

Crew

Dramatic Senshi

18,325 Points
  • OTP 200
  • Hero 100
  • Magical Girl 50

Seiana_ZI

Codebreaking Conversationalist

PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2019 11:45 am


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Matthew Gowan // Corrupt Super Sailor Fulgurite
Reason for Revision: Rehoming! I've aged up his profile, reworded it so it's in my diction, and changed out his Eternal Attack!
Link to Old Profile: [ Here ]
Link to Revised Profile: [ Here ]

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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2019 12:23 pm


The Space Cauldron

MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Fettelite
Reason for Revision: Just wanting to switch up the weapon to be more puffy
Revisions Requested:

Original Weapon:

Lieutenant Weapon: A pair of Cheer-leader Pompoms
Captain Weapon: a pair of large, dull, bowling ball sized Caltrops
General Weapon: Spiked caltrops with curved, hook like edges, with an additional hand-guard place for Fettelite to grasp safely.


New Weapon
Lieutenant Weapon: A pair of Cheer-leader Pompoms
Captain Weapon: A light weight long-arm war hammer, but the head is hidden behind a Pompom, and the bottom side of the hammer is a tiny pompom
General Weapon: A fancy, bigger pom-pom hammer

Kapoodles
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Kapoodles

Battle-ready Waffles


Sunshine Alouette

Eternal Senshi

PostPosted: Tue May 07, 2019 10:26 pm


The Space Cauldron

MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Jonah Sinclair
Reason for Revision: It's been years and his profile could do with a refresh.
Link to Old Profile: [x]
Link to Revised Profile: [x]

Technically not a huge change, but I did rewrite some things and remove others.

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PostPosted: Mon May 13, 2019 6:29 am


The Space Cauldron

MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Nis, Page of Cosmos
Reason for Revision: Change in Knight Weapon
Revisions Requested:
Old: A crystalline bow with starry/flowery stuff. PRETTY.
Spell - The bow is fired upon a spot high above the enemy's head, creating a single, slanting beam of starlight. When struck by this beam, as long as Nis is channeling, the enemy is unable to move and will feel a burning, painful cold upon any exposed skin. The maximum amount of time she is able to channel at this stage results in an immobilization of up to 15 seconds and burning cold of up to 55 seconds.

New: A Crystaline Spear with a star-shaped and blunted head and the grips resembling carved honeysuckle vines
Spell - The spear is pointed at a spot high above the enemy's head, creating a single, slanting beam of starlight. When struck by this beam, as long as Nis is channeling, the enemy is unable to move and will feel a burning, painful cold upon any exposed skin. The maximum amount of time she is able to channel at this stage results in an immobilization of up to 15 seconds and burning cold of up to 55 seconds.

DaisyMilk
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eldritch stardust


Kawaii Prophet



Noir Songbird

Crew

Dramatic Senshi

18,325 Points
  • OTP 200
  • Hero 100
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PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2019 2:12 pm


The Space Cauldron

MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Faith MacKenna // Super Sailor Asmodeus
Reason for Revision: Purification; as she's retaining all her memories, none of the rest of her profile is changing! (Except a ctrl+f sub of "Faith" to "Hope" obv)
Revisions Requested:
Name change: Faith MacKenna > Hope Mayfair

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2019 9:20 pm


MINOR REVISION
Character Name: Sailor Steins
Reason for Revision:I haven't RPed her yet or even awakened her, and I wanted to change her attacks now that I've sat on her for so long and gotten a better idea of what I want for them.
Revisions Requested:

Original Attacks:

Sᴀɪʟᴏʀ Sᴄᴏᴜᴛ Aᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ: Steins Patchwork Shroud!
Enemies within a 8ft radius see their surroundings and everyone in it as geometric patchwork shapes for 25 seconds. It is as if they are part of a quilt. Can be used 2 times per battle. This effect can be very disorientating to those effected.

Sᴜᴘᴇʀ Sᴀɪʟᴏʀ Sᴄᴏᴜᴛ Aᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ: Steins Greater Patchwork Shroud!
Enemies within a 8ft radius see their surroundings and everyone in it as geometric patchwork shapes for 35 seconds. It is as if they are part of a quilt, though much more complicated and intricate than her basic attack. Can be used 1 time per battle. This effect can be very disorientating to those effected.

Eᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟ Sᴀɪʟᴏʀ Aᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ: Steins Patchwork Winding-Sheet!
Instead of effecting the battlefield, this attack targets a single enemy. The target will begin to hallucinate that they them self are patched together - by what is up to the player. Effect lasts 45 seconds. Can be used once per battle.


New Attacks:

Keeping in mind some synonyms for patchwork I came up with something I like a whole lot better,

Sᴀɪʟᴏʀ Sᴄᴏᴜᴛ Aᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ: Patchwork Thoughts: Targets a single enemy. Target's thought process becomes disjointed and randomly patched together. One thought will connect to a completely unrelated thought, leaving the target struggling to focus on what they are trying to accomplish. Lasts for 25 seconds. Can be used twice per battle.

Sᴜᴘᴇʀ Sᴀɪʟᴏʀ Sᴄᴏᴜᴛ Aᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ: Erratic Patchwork Thoughts: Targets a single enemy. Target's thought process becomes more erratically disjointed and randomly patched together. In much more rapid succession one thought will connect to a completely unrelated thought, again leaving the target struggling even more to focus on what they are trying to accomplish. Lasts for 35 seconds. Can be used once per battle.

Eᴛᴇʀɴᴀʟ Sᴀɪʟᴏʀ Aᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋ: Patchwork Momento Mori: Targets a single enemy. The target is surrounded by a 4 foot wide 'cylinder' of pathwork scenes showing various possibilities of how they, or their loved ones, may die. Effect lasts 45 seconds. Can be used once per battle. Particularly effective on more sentimental-y inclined opponents. (idea inspired by 'memory quilts')

The Space Cauldron
APPROVED


OP-Yuna

Crew

Dulcet Scarface


[Mistress Morbid]

Trash

PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2019 10:49 am


MAJOR REVISION
Character Name: Desmond Winchester // Captain Fangite
Reason for Revision:Side swap lmao.
Link to Old Profile:Journal
Link to Revised Profile: >>;;;;

i dont remember how to do this halp

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