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Sailor Senshi saves Bishie?
with Howl
Virgo saves another civilian!... maybe she's getting better at this?

Serenade was not in the room. Elke was in the room, alone, kneeling on her bed with her English textbook in front of her, analyzing a poem. Some people would take analyzing a poem as a throw-away thing, something you could bullshit the hell out of, and maybe most people could. But poetry was the one part of the English language that could throw her for a loop; to fully understand a word of what was going on, Elke had to translate it from English to French, then analyze it in the French, then bring it back to English and god, she failed so many poem analysis tests so many times. Ugh. It sucked. She did her best, but some analogies and idioms just didn't translate back to English very well.

I don't even know anymore, sometimes it feels like I speak a different language.

She folded her hands in her lap, whimpered and looked down to the page again. Those were things she didn't want to think about, memories that were hers but not-hers, like a cast-off pair of shoes. Too large for her to fill yet; but she would fill them, eventually, someday in the future she would look back and say "There, I did it."

But right now, she was trapped into studying English poetry. Maman and Papa would be so angry if she didn't keep up her grades just because she had joined a supernatural guard set to watch over a princess of an alien planet. Papa was a Marine, once upon a time; he might understand, might even want to understand, but Maman would never get it. And Dad and Pop wouldn't be impressed either. The ache of her hand where she'd fallen on that bottle sharpened for a moment. God, it was dangerous, reckless and pointless.

She read the first stanza of the poem aloud, trying to force confidence into her voice. "Sons of bitches were born with hearts of stone, cherishing this stone all their life..." Les fils de--

Did it really matter? Would it matter later in life if she'd ever passed English Composition II? If she was to be always trapped at the Princess's side, always bound to do what Hero said, could Elke really justify tormenting herself over the studies that she didn't enjoy and would never be good at? Born with hearts of stone--Elke wished she had been so lucky as those sons of bitches, born with a heart of stone. She cared too much, she worried; too much. It was unfair, so unfair, that other people--other senshi got to live a life for themselves. There were hundreds of senshi to find the Moon Princess, but only thirteen senshi for Princess Chronos--the important one, thought Elke, her Princess was the one who really mattered.

Life would be so much easier if she just didn't care.

"Children of sons of bitches were born with hearts of grenade, in order to blow to pieces everything." The second line of the stanza, and an opinion that... Well, it was so easy to blow Elke's "everything" to tiny little pieces. Charonite had proved that once, and now she had had it proved to her again. Where was Grayson? Where was Giselle? Everyone was gone, and Elke didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she had done wrong, or how she could fix it, and if she didn't know, what could she do?

Nothing. Always nothing.

Even in battle, all she did was get hurt. At least if she had a grenade for a heart, she could blow up the bad guys along with her. But... she had protected the Princess, hurt herself in the process. Protected Atlas, hurt in the process, and who was to say that that wouldn't be the pattern for every since battle Virgo ever undertook in her life?

"And to leave as a message for their descendents — entrails (still smoking entrails) of sons of bitches," she finished. She was beginning to doubt that the man who had assigned this poem had ever read it in its entirety. Could anyone justify a fifteen-year-old reading this, much less understanding it?

If Elke blew herself up, nobody would be able to read any message in her entrails. Not unless she made someone else spell them out, but--

She slammed the book shut. She was worth it; she was. Grayson loved her; he was her brother. Hero helped her get better at sparring on Saturday mornings, and Serenade trusted Elke with her secrets, and Aurelia had never said an unkind word to her in her life. People would miss her if she died, and it was pointless to ever think that they wouldn't!

With a deep, calming breath, she rested her head in her hands. She couldn't go find the Princess looking like someone had stomped on her puppy; that would just be unkind.

Elke was nothing if not kind.

Prince Charming Stops Here, I Swear!
with Eliza

Elke decides to attempt horseback riding one more time.

Fallon's Dinner Party
with Fallon, Serenade, Imogen, Abeline, Pierrette, Melinda

DOES FALLON KNOW ELKE'S SECRET??

No. She does not.

Mis... identificaiton?
with Yahya, Sue/Zue

Virgo stumbles onto Yahya and Sue. She tackles a youma, because she is THAT BADASS.

Triple V for the Win!
with Vanadis, Variscite

Virgo finds Vanadis and Variscite finds them.

Jude Lawson and a Semester Abroad
with Grayson

Elke and Grayson have a talk: Jude is dead.

If Serenade noticed anything wrong as Elke returned from her team meeting, she didn't say anything. If she noticed the black t-shirt her roommate solemnly pulled out of the bag and unfolded, the shirt that was clearly too large for her, she didn't acknowledge it. In fact, the princess rolled over in her bed, facing the wall.

The bluenette was quietly grateful for this as she stripped out of her clothes, depositing them in her hamper, and pulled Andeon's shirt over her head. Her hair got caught under the collar. Like she did every night, she fluffed the locks out, and then picked up her brush to comb it back into place. It was smart to brush your hair before bed, it kept it from tangling overmuch, which saved you pain in the morning. Elke didn't like it when things hurt.

In the bathroom, she wiped off the foundation she'd worn to hide her bruises, poked at the one under her left eye disconsolately. It still hurt, and was a shade of yellow that made her look worse than normal. Well... no helping it. She brushed her teeth and returned to her bed, sidling under the covers. There was a subtle whoosh! of air, like her bed was exhaling--relieved as she was to be returning to her rightful place, alive and well. The air smelled like alcohol and pine trees. It smelled like--well, it smelled like Andeon.

Elke knew her habit of making off with her male friend's shirts was bad. It could and would be used against her in a court of law. She closed her eyes and pressed her arm over her face, inhaled again. It was creepy, and if they knew she knew they'd be mad at her, but. She hadn't really felt safe since Barren Pines, except when she was with another Zodiac. Specifically, with one of the Zodiacs who towered over her. Grayson and Andeon, the two of them, were... safe. Safety. She knew that Grayson and Andeon--and Mackie--would help her if she needed them, the second she needed them, if it was important. That meant something to her. It meant a lot to her.

Not many places were safe anymore, and sometimes it felt like the world was out to get her. And she hadn't meant to start taking articles of clothing from either of her closest Zodiac friends, it had just kind of... happened. One day she'd been visiting Grayson and on impulse, she'd asked for one of his shirts, and then... she'd just started... trading them. When the shirt stopped smelling like Grayson, she would return it and take a new one. He hadn't noticed yet, which didn't make it right, but... She felt unsafe without at least one of his shirts neatly folded in her drawers. Having something that smelled like Grayson, and then Andeon... it just made her. Made her feel safer. She didn't feel scared, was reminded of the team.

Jude had died for lack of team. If he had been with any one of Team Mutable he'd be okay. But he'd gone out alone, and now... And now, Grayson was hurting over Jude's death and Elke couldn't do anything and that hurt her more than the missing part of Team Mutable. She disappeared further into her bed, pulled the covers over her head. Inhaled. It was all right--she was all right--nothing could get her. She was intelligent. She was keeping herself safe, keeping the princess safe. Just by being there, because then they were together, and... They were all right. They were all right.

She pulled Andeon's shirt up over her mouth, bit into it to muffle the tiny, choking sobs. Ally had said that, all the time, especially when she'd been bleeding. Vomiting into a basin while he cleaned up a cut on her arm once, she remembered that, and... It's all right. You're all right.

It was unfair that Elke only realized he'd been lying after he'd been gone for a year. Only after she couldn’t ask him why he’d lied had she realized that he’d been hiding something, at the very least the truth. The truth was: It wasn't all right. She wasn't all right. It was never going to be all right. She wasn't good enough to be a Zodiac, wasn't good enough to guard the Princess, and if something didn't give she never would be and the red-headed man with the sword, Obsidian, he would pick off each and every one of them. If she didn't give something up. If she didn't try harder, he'd get them all, and Elke. Elke could not bear that. She could not take this ever again. She hadn't even liked Jude Lawson; how much worse would it be next time? It took energy to force herself to think of it, and she sobbed a little harder: Next time, when it would be Pierrette? Andeon? Mackie? Grayson?

Her fingers clenched, nails digging into the back of her hands. It wouldn’t happen. She wouldn’t let it--

Underneath the covers, it was warm, dark and safe. Elke could see the glow of her nightlight through a little crack in the covers. Staring at that sliver of light, she calmed. Something had to give. It would be hard to stop writing, to put her camera away and stop being so social. But she couldn't let herself lose anyone--not now. Not ever again. Jude was not the first person to die on her, but he would be the last.

Hero would be happy, thought Elke, wiping her face as she reached out for her phone. More importantly, her schedule, contained neatly inside her phone. She looked at it--photo club. Lit club. Free time. A little bit at a time was the way to do it, she thought. Aurelia would have said the same, she was sure. She inhaled again, closed her eyes at the scent of pine. Elke knew she could count on Andeon and Mackie to help her, and she’d drag Grayson along, too. It would help him feel better, to be surrounded by friends.

She replaced an hour of her free time every evening with practice, methodically. It had been something she’d done the first time another Zodiac had been really hurt, but this time... This time she would hold herself to it, no matter what. She did not need another death. Her team was already broken forever; Jude could not be replaced. Elke would not let the cracks grow.

The phone was replaced on her nightstand, alarm set for six thirty. She tucked her head under her pillows, closed her eyes, and sniffled. Sailor Virgo would make them all proud, she’d prove she could guard the Princess just like a good soldier should. And next time she met the red-haired man, she’d break his nose. At the least, she amended after a moment. At the very, very least, she would break his nose. She was stronger than he was, anyway...

Elke took one more deep breath of the reassuring pine scent, and drifted off to sleep.