A visit from the Past
Bia and Newt recall moments of humanity befor going over the fence
Newt had gotten a lot better at swimming. The same leap to his legs coming in handy for strokes, and if he went enough on instinct, he stopped himself from flailing and kept afloat. Nice and soaked, it was getting later in the afternoon, and he still wanted to do his dumpster diving rounds befor the cleaning crews came in. He didn't bother to bring a towel, preffering the feeling of being drenched, even as he carefully folded his long webbed toes to slip his jumper back on over his swim shorts. He didn't want to get
too dirty on his travels, afterall.
It was rarely the case that fortune was too kind to Bia Grey. Her life had been one of too many dark points interspersed with times that, like her name, could only be described as 'grey'. However, on that day, as the once and never-again doctor walked nearer to the lake, fortune was somewhat gentle. She wouldn't come walking upon Newt before he'd managed to slip his jumper back on- which was a blessing. Though he was wearing his swim shorts, there was something jarring- even shocking- about coming across someone who was almost more frog than human.
He was undeniably something less- or more- than human. His skin, his eyes... his legs... even though he did not seem dangerous in the least, it was still somehow appalling to Bia. She stepped back, as if going into the brush again could erase it. But her eyes were stock-still upon the man- for she’d realized something through it all.
“..Newt…”
At the sound of the voice, Newt started, his throat inflating in a terrified croak as he whirled around to see who was there, his webbed hands holding his jumper shut once he had gotten up up and over his shoulders, "Ah-krrKIT!" At the sight of Bia, though, his already impossibly large, bolbous eyes widened further, "Ah... D-d-doctor... d-doctor G-grey! Wh-what... what are y-you...?" Had he still been human, his face would have been bright red. He hadn't seen her since befor- when he had still been employed. And a mammal.
She had backed up without realizing it, pressing into the brush that she'd originally come through. She'd known he was a subject- it had been the whispers around the labs- but something had always stopped her from asking those gossiping few what he'd become. And with all the hoopla and insanity she'd gone through since the time she'd become one of the islanders... she'd almost forgotten about him completely. Now, though, it all came rushing back. "It's not Doctor Grey anymore. It's just... Bia."
"J-just... ah... wh-what..." Newt huddled back in his froggish crouch, fumbling with the zipper of his jumper. He kept his face lowered, embarassed by his changes. It had become easy to ignore the fact he wasn't human anymore when surrounded by strangers who were all just as inhuman as he was, or moreso- but Bia... Bia remembered what he looked like human. When he had still been a happy, loyal employee of the labs. Somewhere deep down, Newt had theorized that everyone back at the labs held him as a sort of inside joke- but he hadn't expected to see anyone from that life again. "what d-do you- ah! Th-they d-didn't... th-they d-didn't f-find out about- about... " Suddenly it dawned on him what she was undoubtfully doing there.
Her eyes went wide. "No. No, they didn't find out. I ...I..." it was hard to say it outright- especially when she'd expended so much effort hiding that fact, now. But Newt knew too much about her- one thing in particular- for her to want to lie to him. "I asked to be injected."
"Y-you... you.... wh-what?" Newt glanced up, gaping in disbelief.
"It's a long story." Suddenly, a sense of thick dread seeped up into her consciousness. "No one knows, though. I mean- the islanders. I haven't told anyone."
"Kn-kn-kn-knows what?" Newt still couldn't take his eyes off of her, shocked. "Th-that you're m-mmm-muh-muh-
mad??"
"Uhh.." It was an unhappy, thick sigh, and the only good thing to come with her evident distress was a momentary lapse in realizing she was standing before a massive human/frog mix. "It was either come to the village...or let myself self-destruct in the labs." Her eyes were a plaintive plea- she knew he'd recall those nights she'd wandered from her room, troubled... torn. It was when they'd first met.
He had been attempting to sneak a cigarette in one of the supply cabnets, but unfortunatly had not realized that a small room was not the best way to hide smoke. Especially when he left his mop and bucket-cart right outside. To the casual passerby, smoke had been blatently easy to see drifting up from the crack under the door.
It had been another terrible night, filled with nightmares and aimless wandering that Bia hoped would assuage the fears that lingered when she'd slung the sleep from her shoulders. Her bare feet barely made a sound on the cold floor. She wore little: a long nightshirt- a shapeless T-shirt dress that, in the dim light of the lab hallways registered only as a dark shade rather than the blue it was- and her eyes... registered little at all. Not the smoke, not the floor before her as she shuffled forward- and not the bucket that she went sprawling over as her bare legs connected with the object. The young doctor tumbled forward and clattered to the ground before the smoke-filled closet with a horrible clatter. Water rushed around her where she lay, prostrate on the smooth floor.
At the sudden sound, there was a terrified yelp from within the closet,t eh door flying open in a cloud of smoke as the tall, skinny janitor came fumbling out, the cigarette thrown down to the floor in a desperate attempt to hide what he had been doing, "I w-w-was j-just luh-looking f-for... for... f-fresh pruh-printer ink!" He babbled. His boots skidded on the soapy water befor he even realized he should look down. At the sight of the woman fallen, Newt's expression turned from terrified to rediculous guilt, "Aah! Ah, b-blast it.... all... I... I... ah... I'm s-so so s-so-so-sorry, m-miss!!" He squeeked, immediatly fumbling to help her up again.
She was shaken- from more than just the tumble- but she allowed the fumbling man to aid her to her feet before backing away from the awkward situation. Bia edged out of the growing puddle, crossing her arms in front of her, feeling the weight of the moisture on her shirt as she did. "No, it was my fault. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to knock it over. I wasn't looking where I was going."
The janitor dropped down to try to catch the spill with the rag from his pocket, but it was too much for it to his dismay. He'd have to snag it with the mop. "I... I... Sh-sh-sh-sh-shouldn't have left it in the wuh-wuh-way!"
At the statement, the dark woman's eyes lifted to the doorway that the janitor had emerged from, noticing for the first time the smoke which was still visible on the air. "Were you smoking?" It was not said in an accusatory way, but rather, in that sleepy, seeking manner that only a one AM encounter could achieve.
Newt glanced up sharply, the violently green eyes set into his sunken, emaciated face wide with sudden terror, "P-please d-d-don't t-tell my suh-suh-sss-soo... m-my s-s-ss-ssssupervisor
!! I kn-kn-know, it's a t-ter-ter-terrible habit, and I sh-should r-really q-quit, but I h-haven't j-just yet and it's a luh-long sh-shift and if I w-went outside th-they'd-!"
Her voice was a strange, muted calm to his terror. "I won't say anything. I don't exactly paint a picture of a perfect staff member, wandering the halls in the middle of the night." For some reason, her words ended in a sort of a whisper.
He quieted, straightening slowly, his prominant adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed. "I p-p-pruh-promise I... I w-won't d-do it again," He whispered back, as though afraid of whatever it was that was making her so soft spoken.
"Really, don't... worry about it." She uncrossed her arms and then crossed them again, struck by this strange encounter- and a little at odds. "I didn't mean to be rude and ask, Mr...?"
"Ah... F-filinas, m-ma'am.... N-newton F-filinas...."
Despite herself, she laughed at the 'ma'am'. "It's not ... ma'am. Just Bia."
"I...I'm s-s-sorry.. ah... B-bb-b-buh-Bia!"
"You don't have to apologize. I'm the one who knocked over your bucket. I ..." she didn't know what else to say.
"It's... it's alright!" he clutched his mop, quickly turning to try to clean up the mess as quickly as possible like the good, loyal janitor he was.
Bia only nodded, and backed away without turning, edging along the wall back in the direction that she'd come- making sure to go wide around the puddle. "I... I better get back."
"I'm s-sorry if I in-in-interupted anything..." Newt mumbled, feeling more and more guilty, rediculously so.
"No. I was just trying to get something off my mind." It was a strange sort of confession- more raw than the doctor would have liked. But already, she had seemed exposed- walking in her nightshirt, her feet and legs bare, the hair around her face a wild mane of mess. In a way, the man had helped her with her goal- but as there was no need
to tell him that, she did not bother to speak the words. She only turned and started to wander back down the way she'd come: back down the long hallway to where her room waited at the end of the darkness.The janitor had certainly changed since the time she had first laid eyes on him, especially concidering she needed to look down to him while they were speaking. To the frog-man, she hadn't changed at all, though, save for being a bit better groomed and clothed now. The idea that she would now end up like him...? "D-do... d-do you kn-know wh-what...?" He began quietly.
"No." It was an instantaneous, almost fearful response. "No." Softer then, less insistant. "I didn't want to know."
Newt fell silent, giving a timid nod of understanding. He huddled between his knees, his throat trembling froggishly. After a few moments, he spoke up again, "I... I'm s-suprised... y-you r-ruh-recognized me."
There was something sad about that statement, and it struck a chord in Bia that she could only begin to understand. It rang deep to a place that reminded her that this was what she had chosen... while this man had not ever been given the choice. For the first time in a long time- Bia felt a real, panging guilt, and she hardly knew what to say. To a woman who chose her words so carefully- it meant a very long silence. "I knew you'd been...sent out here."
His eyes swiveled to the side at the sight of a dragonfly that had whisked it's way along the surface of the lake, heading straight towards them, "It w-was... m-my j-jumper, w-wuh-wuh-wasn't it?"
A small smile came across her still so human face. "The hair, too."
"M-most has f-f-fuh-fallen out... in the buh... in the b-buh-back..." He trailed off, his tonuge suddenly leaping out to snatch the dragonfly and snap it back to his mouth with a terrible crunch befor he even knew what he was doing.
She gasped- and slammed her eyelids down upon themselves. She had not learned how to graciously accept these changes- not even close. It was very clear by the look of horror on her face, and by her inability to
look at all... how she felt about the changes that had happened to this kind janitor.
Whatever enjoyment Newt got out of his lakeside treat was sapped by one look at Bia's face. He hobbled back away from her, spitting out the crushed remains frantically, "I'm s-sorry! I'm s-sorry I d-didn't m-mean to... to... aah!!"
She hadn't opened her eyes- but now, covered her face with her hands- less for some imaginary need to have something more between them than as a sort of apology. "I'm always doing something to make you apologize, Newt. Don't worry about it. I'm the one who's wrong." The words were muffled through her hands, though they echoed in the little cave she'd created on her face.
"It's... it's the suh-suh-serum! It... it... m-my.. my t-tongue I m-mean... It h-happened b-befor I c-could th-think!"
She dropped her hands, and her face was exposed. Her eyes were open. "Don't worry about it!" Her voice was nearly frantic, now.
Newt was trembling where he crouched, as though he were fighting that froggish urge to leap away from her and into the safety of the lake, his arms wrapped aorund his head as he gave a miserable sob, "Y-you m-m-must find me d-duh-disgusting!"
"No. Just different. It's all so different. I'm not used to it yet." The sob, and the wretched sort of self-embrace tied Bia's stomach into knots. "It's not you. It's me."
"Of c-course it's m-me! I'm th-the... th-the g-giant f-frog, aren't I??"
"It's the serums. It's what they did.
They're the ones that disgust me, not you."
Newt glanced up slightly at that, his brows furrowed. Despite everything, he had never really lost his loyalty to the labs- just because he disagreed with them, didn't mean they were wrong- afterall, who'd trust the word of a janitor over the word of a top of line scientist? "T-to... to th-their c-credit... I... I n-never r-really d-do anything to d-deserve a b-better s-serum th-than th-this..."
That struck her dumb. Of all the things in her head, none of them would come free succinctly- or even intelligently. So she remained, hovering before the brush, starting at a man who had been nearly halved by the onslaught of his change. Was it only in height? She wondered what else the serum had done to his mind- then berated herself for the thought. If he was mad, then what under God's good sun would that make her? She didn't know- and it was that, with all the other tumultuous thoughts that left her silent... staring at the frogman, unintentionally leaving him to draw what conclusions he may from her silence.
"Ah... at... at l-least I'm n-not a w-worm, th-that's wh-what I k-keep t-telling myself! It'd b-be hor-hor-horrible, if it w-were a w-worm! All b-blind and... and wr-wriggly and... and... it'd b-be even more d-difficult to g-get around th-than h-hopping, th-that's f-r sure!" He babbled.
"You don't deserve any of it, Newt." She found her words, but they were tentative... sad. "Do you really think that what you did was enough to warrant this?"
"I... I... th-they... th-they th-thought it d-did... I... I've m-made a l-lot of m-mistakes! Y-you... you kn-know how... how cl-clumsy I am..."
"That doesn't justify this." She couldn't bring herself to specifics. As well as anyone, Bia knew of the extent of island surveillance. She didn't kid herself to believe that any conversation was a private one, and there was just something fearful about saying something so specifically about the serums or the cruelties. Not when she'd thrown herself to their mercy. Not when the little comfort she'd gained since leaving the labs was still directly tied to their acceptance of her.
"I.... I....I l-lost th-the lable of a s-serum! S-some p-poor s-subject d-doesn't know what they'll b-be... n-no one d-does! B-because of m-me! And... and a m-million other th-things I've d-done over the y-years!" He hopped forward towards her suddenly, trying to seem brave as he defended them.
It took all her willpower to shove down the desire to cross her arms before her and back away- or to close her eyes and pretend he wasn't drawing near her. It was foolish, she reminded herself- he was just Newton. She knew Newton. She'd met him several times in the dark hallways or in the labs in the middle of a long night's workload. He had taken care to never tell anyone her secret... he was a sweet, if bumbling man. She didn't have to fear Newt. It was a sort of self-chant- a reminder, as she evened her breath and answered with a voice too intent to stay calm. "Even that, Newt. It was an accident. They were all accidents. No one had the right to take away your humanity."
Newt stopped at that, huddlng back as frog-like as ever, his wide round eyes wobbling and watering. It didn't take long befor large, fat tears were sliding down the man's face miserably, "I.... it..... sh-sh-shuh...!!"
Despite the various encounters they had- and their strange, particular history- nothing in their line of meetings had ever prepared Bia for this. They weren't so close that the self-contained woman could even begin to feel comfortable wrapping her arms around him to comfort him. It was all she could do to stand there and even acknowledge his tears, and not pretend they did not exist... or run back to the village. A warm flush spread to her cheeks, and she barely breathed for the sake of the supremely awkward moment. "I... oh Newt. I ..." she bit down on her bottom lip very hard, but no more words would-or could-come.
After a few gulps of air, Newt managed to find his voice again. He hopped to the side so he didn't have to look at her, wobbling as he landed, "I... I c-c-can't help wuh-what I'm b-becoming... I j-just... w-want to s-see.. th-the g-good in wh-why th-this h-happened... S-someone... h-had to t-test... the frog... b-better s-someone l-like m-me... th-than... s-someone l-like you..."
Bia's eyes went wide with a sort of innocence- or stupidity. "What do you mean, someone like me?"
"Y-you know... j-just... b-better!" He didn't know how to describe it! His father had simply said for him to mind his "Betters" and that he was a "Failure". That was just how the world worked.
"I don't know any better. I came to the island thinking they were going to give someone with no experience a fantastic job. I didn't even realize they were sticking me here for life."
"At l-least y-you q-quit... y-you... w-weren't *f-fired*..." Newt's voice was soft and wobbly. He had never really admitted it out loud, although he had steadily shed himself of his previous duties. Perhaps he just didn't want to admit it. But it was true.
It wasn't the first time Bia found herself immersed in pity for the man- but somehow, it was heightened by his current state, not for a small sake that she realized that she soon would be in a similar predicament. In a way, her pity for Newton mirrored her own self-imposed martyrdom. "My duties were taken away from me almost from the moment I arrived. They might as well have fired me." Her shrug was listless- weak. "I was just a busywork tech they couldn't get rid of."
Newt wobbled, thinking through what she was saying befor he hung his head even lower, "I... I s-suppose I sh-shouldn't be com-complaining, then..."
"Not what I meant." She sighed. "Complain all you want. I'm not going to judge you."
He finally got his zipper up, stopping it befor it pinched his neck, and left enough space in case a bout of his "froggish hiccups" as he liked to think of them came back. He fidgeted with the zipperpull, debating whether he should excuse himself or attempt to catch up further. They'd only met in passing, afterall. "I... I h-hope... ah... y-you'll... s-sleep b-better now," He managed lamely.
A smile was an odd thing to be born in such a tepid conversation. And yet, at Newt's words, there it was, a burgeoning, infant thing spreading across her lips. "Thank you. So far, I have been. ...I hope... you've been... okay."
"I... I m-met a g-girl, b-but I d-don't think she l-likes me.... at l-least... y-you know, l-like *th-that*..." His own mouth trembled into a weak smile, and one had to wonder- when he grew even more froggish than he was now, would his rediculous teeth still remain?
His weak smile gave strength to her own, and she found herself moving a step forward out of her hovering pose before the bush- the first time in the conversation. "Oh? ...Who?" She knew- at least for files' sake- most of the islanders, and she was curious which one had caught Newt's bulbous eyes.
"Ah... m-m-mmiss... N-natsumi... sh-she's insectiverous l-like m-me and... ah... w-well, sh-she's a g-g-gecko and um..." He floundered, looking thouroughly embarassed on the subject.
"I haven't met her, yet. But I remember her file from the labs." That reminded her, then, of something that had been yet promised- and she let a twist of anxiety draw the plea from the pit of her stomach once again. "Would you... promise not to tell the rest of the islanders ...about me? I mean, that I'm a doctor... and all?"
"Ah... oh... y-yes, I... I p-promise, of c-course! After... after all th-the things I heard have... have happened to st-staff... I m-mean... I w-was almost eaten a f-few t-times myself-!"
"Eaten? ...So it's true- there are dangerous islanders." It was less of a question than a statement thick with fear. Bia had heard rumors- and of course, everyone in the labs knew the story of Ms. Brooks and Ms. Anderson- but there had been a thick wall she'd built around her with bricks of denial and mortar of fear. "But thank you. Now I guess you've got two secrets of mine to keep."
"I'm g-guh-guh-good at k-keepign secrets," Newt's weak smile returned with a vengance, "I suppose it c-cuh-cuh-comes with n-no-no-not being able to sp-speak p-properly."
"I think it's just that you're a good man." If she weren't already so dark, her skin would have paled then, at that moment. She did not mean to say 'man'- though, surely, with hindsight, she wondered what she might have said in its stead. For what was he- if not a man?
He didn't seem to mind, though, his throat inflating slightly as he tried to buckup and look just a bit more sure of himself.
"Well, I'm sorry to have interrupted anything. I was just taking a walk." She cleared her throat, then wondered how long she'd be able to do that- whether the change would alter so much more about her.
"N-no... I... I w-was j-just... um... f-finishing up... er... d-doing s-some... f-frog things," He laughed weakly, as though this were some sort of joke.
Whether it was the sake of having secured his promise... or that she was getting used to the frogman, her smile was- if not beaming- at least real. She did not laugh at his joke- merely nodded with that tentative smile. "Mm. Well, I should get back." She turned then, considering, gave a look over her shoulder. "Thank you, Newt."
"I... I s-suppose I'll s-see you again s-sometime?"
"Mm." It was a noise to the affirmative. "Be well." And then, turning on the flat heels, Bia turned back to the village.
Newt watched her go, waiting untill she was out of sight befor hopping home himself. He supposed he shouldn't have been suprised, but he honestly was. Hopefully Bia would be happier here than she had seemed back at the labs, at the very least.
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