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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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 Posted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:05 pm
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Posted: Fri Oct 01, 2010 1:07 pm
Fitzroy's Journal Dear Journal,
So... I got into my first fight today. Like, I yelled and stuff before, but this time I actually punched someone. It was... rather exhilarating, actually. Very satisfying when it comes to the whole anger problem, too; I can see why people do it. Of course, now my knuckles are bruised, so I also see why people don't do it. But I should get on actually telling the story. I still have an essay for Art Appreciation that I should stop procrastinating on. Man, that class wasn't as easy as it sounded...
Anyway, punching, yes. So, I was at lunch, right, and me and my buddies are eating and carrying on. Then, ew came to the subject of girls. Given that we're junior-high boys, most of our boasts were bullshit, but as the resident non-virgin, I was able to call them out really easily. They were REALLY pathetic, too; my poor friend James tried to assure us of an act that only made it extremely obvious that he needs to lay off the hentai, for real. =____=;;
So, after I'd called 'bullshit' enough times, people started asking me for a girl story. I know Adelle wouldn't mind, so I started telling one. But, as soon as I mention Adelle's name, this stupid arrogant jerk-a** drama f*****t named Theo said that that didn't count because, and I very angrily quote, "Adelle would ******** a cactus if someone gave her enough painkillers." What the ********, right?!
So, of course, I get royally pissed, along with a few of my friends from elementary who practically worship Adelle as a goddess for 'being so radiant and yet associating with we pimple-nosed peasants so graciously', and I stand up and start giving Theo crap about how he was an arrogant little p***k who wishes that he could DREAM about being more worthy THAN a cactus to my Adelle, and then he did that stupid cocky stuff that ALWAYS grinds my gears and said, get this, that his standards were higher than an obnoxious, anorexic whore.
And yeah, I pretty much snapped after that. You can understand, right?
Thinking back on it, the fight was a total blur. From what I've been able to piece together, I snarled and ******** DOVE across the table, food and all. I tackled Theo to the ground, and I distinctly remember giving him that broken nose, but I apparently also knocked one of his teeth out and gave him a good knee to the testes. Huh. Go me, if I do say so myself. When I was sitting outside the principal's office, my friend Gene told me I was more pissed than he'd ever seen me. I was growling and baring my very impressive teeth, and Pac-man was just dying to get a bite of Theo. I wish I felt worse, because that sounds scary, but... I don't. Sorry. And yeah, I got detention, but I didn't tell my dad. There wasn't really any need too, anyway, because I usually have my extra-curricular pottery class after school, so he just thought that I went to that. I don't think he'll mind if it gets leaked out. He likes Adelle too.
But... part of what that uppity bitchboy said worries me, particularly about her being anorexic. I know that it's an eating disorder that's common in girls our age; there was a girl last year who was in the grade above me who got pulled out of school and put into a special live-in hospital because it was just a blow to her health. But I looked it up some online, and honestly, the idea is truly just horrifying to me. The girls look like they're freaking holocaust victims; you can see their god-damn spines through their stomachs! I mean, why in God's name would you want to do that to yourself?! It's AWFUL, and it certainly doesn't make you more attractive, and I think, hope, that Adelle would agree with me.
But I'm not sure, and that's terrifying. Adelle and I don't really hang out in school anymore because we're in completely different classes, and so we have really different friends. I haven't really met any of hers, but from what I can tell, they're the kind of superficial bimbos (not to insult my dear Adelle or her taste) who would buy into something so terrible. And Adelle has been getting skinner... What if...
Okay, you know what, NO. NO. My girlfriend is NOT anorexic because she has more common sense than that. There. End of ******** story. You can take that and shove it up your a**, Theo. ******** you.
Fitzroy
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 9:53 am
Fitzroy's Journal Dear Journal,
Hi again, I'm still Fitzroy. So, lately I haven't been seeing much of Adelle, and so I've been going to see a lot of my friend Robert, whom I think you've heard about already. Y'know, he was the kid from the swing club with the telepathy and the amazingly green eyes and the delicious. In case you can't tell, I totally have a massive crush on him. And yeah, since I've pretty much heard nothing from Adelle for weeks (which is actually kind of distressing... Maybe I'll call Miss Adhara after I'm done with this and see if I can come over and hang out...), I've been over at his house a lot. And... well, he knows that I like him, and he likes me too, and I know, because he kissed me in the very middle of the swing club and said that we wouldn't really be able to go out or do anything until I was older, which I guess makes sense because he is a few years older than me. But well... You can guess how he said that we wouldn't go that far, right? Well... We did.
It was really a huge blur leading up to it, and thinking about it really only reminds me that my butt hurts. It just started out as a simple night; I finished my homework and then had my dad drop me off at his house. I was staying over, and since it's getting close to Halloween, I had brought over a bunch of scary movies and candy and we were gonna marathon. And we did and it was awesome. We were really only cuddling sort of and keeping it pretty heterosexual until we started watching Saw. I hate Saw, it always scared the CRAP out of me because it's all gross and... augh! Excuse me while I wriggle.
Okay, back. So yeah, Saw started happening, and I was trying to, understandably, not look like I was scared because I'm a MAN and MEN can't be afraid of things, but it got to the point that I was clinging to his arm and, as loathe as I am to admit it, I was trembling pretty consistently. I'm sorry, I like suspense and jumpy things and all that, but ******** GORE just gets to some part of my brain and makes me quiver. But no, because he's pretty much perfect, Robert was really nice about it, and somewhere along the line - I can't quite remember - we ended up kissing. And well... More than kissing. Once again, my butt hurts.
It was really nice, though. Robert's definitely amazing, and sweet, and clever, and I feel like a girl who's managed to go out with one of the sexy older classmen (well, I assume). I haven't even really thought about Adelle until just a few paragraphs ago, as my mind has been too busy fluttering with thoughts of Robert. Did you know that he's a greaser when he's actually at school? Yeah, he's a swinger AND a greaser. He's pretty much delicious. He's, um, well-endowed too. Because you totally needed to know that, whichever one of my kids is reading this in the future. HAH NOW YOUR BRAINS ARE TAINTED. Fear my wrath.
So yes, I'm pretty sure that we're at least going out now, which is nice, because I really don't even know if Adelle remembers that I exist anymore, which does grate my cheese. I mean, we were only dating. And it's not like I'm not concerned about her - like I said, I'm going to call her house and see if I can hang after this - but I really like having a Robert to go and run to and not worry about things that are in the rest of my life. He's like an oasis in a desert; everything's good around him. <3 Although I'm not sure how big I am on letting him do that to me again; I always envisioned it reversed, if you catch my drift. Just gotta will this silly body to grow! Grow, me, grow!
Fitzroy
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Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:52 pm
Fitzroy's Journal Dear Journal,
...God, I'm so terrified right now... I just stopped talking with Miss Adhara and- and Adelle ran away from home. Apparently they had some kind of really big fight over God knows what, and... And she's gone. I've tried calling her phone a buncha times now, and she won't answer me. Luckily I've seen in her in school a few times, so I know she's not dead in a ditch somewhere or living in a crack house or something terrible like that. I feel really bad for saying it, but that was kind of what I was expected. Over these last few months she's seemed to drift so far away from me and hang out with... people that I wouldn't want my daughter associating with that I don't know what she's capable of anymore. And knowing her as we as I do, I know that she's up for anything, even something completely stupid like running away from a perfectly good home...
But yeah, I've seen her at school, although I've barely had an opportunity to talk to her; she's always talking to someone else, and since I go to a really big school, there's always about a thousand kids (who of course are just standing there and being totally in the way) between me and her, and by the time I get close, I should be getting to class anyway. It's extremely frustrating, and if I didn't care about causing a massive scene, I'd just freaking shout at her from across the hall. But people tease her all the time already, and I don't want to highlight her problems anymore than I have to. At least I have some tact.
It... Kind of hurts, though, to realize that she's more or less forgotten about me. I mean, we were dating; wasn't that supposed to mean at least something? I still care a lot, a LOT, about her; I may even love her. In fact, I probably do. I mean, I've stuck by her side up to this point since we were KIDS. And she just... threw me on the curb because of... And- And see, that's the thing, I don't even know!! I haven't talked to her in WEEKS, close to MONTHS!! I miss her, I miss my best friend, I miss my 'Delle... -sob- And I'm so scared for her... Where is she staying? Does she need anything? Is she safe? And more importantly, and honestly rather selfishly, why isn't she staying with ME, where it is a known fact that she'd be safe and warm and well-cared for?! And why won't she even talk to me about it...
I'm losing her, I'm just completely losing her...
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 9:19 pm
Fitzroy's Journal Dear Journal,
TODAY. TODAY is a good day. Do you know what today is? Well, because you're simply pieces of paper held together by some cheap binding, I'm going to assume you are unaware of this day and will tell you. TODAY is Thanksgiving Day, a most joyous day of feasting, gratefulness, and most importantly, feasting. Do you know how many dinners I have been invited to? Five. Do you know how many I'm going to go to? ALL OF THEM. Can you possibly comprehend just HOW MUCH FOOD that is, how much delicious, rich, once-a-year food has been offered to me? It's like Christmas and my birthday and everything wonderful combined together into one amazing day dedicated to food.
First, of course, is dinner with my dad. That'll be fun, although rather quiet, seeing as it'll just be me and him. I don't see him a lot anymore, though, so it'll be good to actually be able to sit down and talk with him. He's been getting more paranoid ('That's possible?!' 'I know!!') lately, especially during the night, and I wanted to know what was going on. Plus, although I don't think he'd be much help in my current situation seeing as he's never had a significant other, I want to confide in him about all (well, maybe just some; don't want to overwhelm him) of my issues that I've been having. Not that I want to bring Thanksgiving dinner down, but I think we should just talk, y'know, like a family. 'Cause he's my dad and I love him and he's there to help me with my problems.
Next, it's off to eat at the By'arre household, which is going to be a MASSIVE DINNER I'm so excited. Misters Noah and Silas have invited all of their family and any friends that were invited along (including me, I'm so lucky!) to a big old dinner at their house. It might be a little too vegetarian for my tastes, seeing as Noah is the main chef and a vegetarian, as is Aludra, but Silas might just put a stop to that by complaining. From what I could gather from Adelle, that's pretty much how Silas gets his way with anything. Besides, I'm going to FIVE DINNERS, so I really shouldn't complain. The guest list, as far as I know, is Noah, Silas, Aludra, Lirona, Adhara, 'Zuba, and me. Adelle MIGHT be coming, but I don't know, and if I'm going to be honest, part of me hopes that she doesn't. I'm just afraid that it'll cause too much drama and make everyone upset, including me. At the same time, I DO want to see her, at least to see that she's doing okay and get a chance to talk to her without children interfering. That way I could get some confusing things straight, like what our relationship status is. Because I THINK I've been dumped, but I'm not sure.
THEN. Oh then. THEN I get to go with Robert and his mom to this MASSIVE catered dinner for a bunch of people at her work. The only downside is that I'll have to pretend that Robert and I aren't romanitcally involved, otherwise his mom will bust a tit, but that shouldn't be TOO difficult. I mean, I act friendly with anyone, so I should just be able to tone it down. And you know what, if I can't, it's probably Robert's fault anyway. Robert showed me the menu earlier this week, and I am SO PUMPED. There's going to be, not just traditional TurkeyDay stuff, but coolass stuff like ostrich steak and lobsters and miniature cheesecakes and it is going to be so hard for me to control myself. Both around the food and Robert, if you know what I mean. ;DDD
After THAT, I go to my friend MarkfromSwingClub's house, and THEN to MarkfromSchool's house, and then I finally go back home and probably pass out from tryptophan overdose and belly bloating and I will be so happy. I seriously love Thanksgiving so much, I am so excited to do all of this, I love food. Thanksgiving is a Gluttony kid's Christmas; I hope they have the kindness to give the Gluttony demon some extra foods today, in the spirit of the festive season. I really can't be unhappy on this day, particularly since I get to spend a good part of it, and the rest of the weekend that I have, with Robert, who I am becoming more and more enamored with. <3 Today, life is good.
Fitzroy away!!
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 11:23 am
 Suddenly! A wild HIPPIE appears from the woodwork! Use Master Ball?
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 3:47 pm
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Posted: Sat Jan 08, 2011 3:49 pm
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Sat Jan 15, 2011 10:45 pm
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Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2011 1:20 am
Just One Bite
Fitzroy couldn't stop smiling, but then again, that wasn't surprising considering he was around his loverly boyfriend. Today had been a wonderful date for them: a walk around a lake to feed the geese, a delicious meal at Fitzroy's favorite restaurant - Golden Corral - and a romantic movie that had both gotten them into a certain kind of mood. Fitzroy had been smiling for that entire time, and he certainly wasn't going to stop as he led Robert by the hand up his stairs and to his room. He was so happy he didn't even register the slightly muffled sex noises coming from his dad's room, which was surprising considering that those same noises had been driving him and his sensitive hearing batty for the past months. Nope, none of that mattered. His beautiful Robert was here, and they were gonna do things, and he would fall asleep with Robert in his arms and wake up with him there and good GOD this had been a good day.
"Watch your step, my lady," he said with a chuckle as they tried to navigate his messy room. Without prompting he scooped up his lover and lifted him bridal style, carrying him to his bed. He was kissing Robert's head before he even sat down, and carried on with that for a length of time before pulling back with a sheepish grin. "Sorry... I'm just... God, Robert, you make me so happy. I can't help but want to kiss you over and over..."
Like Fitzroy, Robert had greatly enjoyed their date, though the reversal in their relationship that had come with Fitzroy's growth was... still something that he was getting used to for sure. The brunette followed after quietly as they stepped through the house, despite the fact that Fitzroy's dad had never really had a problem with him being over. The teenager made a face at the muffled sounds coming from beyond the man's door.
The young wizard squeaked when he was scooped up off the ground, first sticking out his tongue at his boyfriend before pressing his lips against Fitzroy's neck and collarbone. A soft sound fell past his lips when Fitzroy started kissing at him and he writhed gently, a blush coming to his face. Gently, he batted at the young man's shoulder. "D-don't say that. You're so mushy," he snapped cattily, stealing Fitzroy's lips with his own, teeth gently grazing across the other's lower lip, emerald eyes sneaking secret glances at the deep brown of his lover's.
Fitzroy was almost smiling too much to kiss effectively, but he somehow managed. With a lovestricken laugh, he moaned low into Robert's mouth, loving the feeling of his teeth on his lips. It was another few moments before he pulled away, repositioning Robert and himself as he talked softly. "Well, I can't help it. I love you so much, it... makes me mushy? Ew, sorry, that was gross." He laughed awkwardly with a blush, but positioned himself over Robert nonetheless. Kisses were dusted upon the human boy's neck and shoulder, Fitzroy murmuring sweetly in between them. "The point is, I love you, and it makes me say cheesy things like that. Forgive my overwhelming dorkiness, sweetheart?" Before Robert could answer, he silenced his mouth with his own, tongue flicking out to taste greedily at the rich, smoky scent of his lover.
Robert trembled at the moan from his lover, body responding much too quickly for his liking as a result of the many nights that they'd been together already. Already, he was anticipating what was to come. As he was repositioned on the bed, his arms wrapped around Fitzroy's back, hips grinding upward against the leg between them. "Yer not... fruit, st-stupid," Robert mumbled, though it was obvious by his tone of voice that the statement was only teasing.
"I l-love you too, Fitzroy," Robert whimpered against his lover's lips, practically melting at the greedy, forceful motions of Fitzroy's tongue in his mouth, heat pooling in his cheeks as well as his stomach.
"Well, dur-hur, I'm not fruit," replied Fitzroy in an equally-teasing manner, pulling back to stick his tongue out cheekily. He moaned huskily as he felt Robert's leg press itself on his thigh, body trembling in anticipation of things to come. Strong arms wrapped themselves around Robert and pulled him closer, craving more of the boy already, more of his sweetness and spice and adorable eyes...
"Ahh... Robert, you're so delicious..." Fitzroy pressed himself against the swing boy just as he was being pressed against, sighing lustily as he trailed his tongue along the sinews of Robert's neck, adoring the feeling of the twitching muscle as the boy shuddered and gasped. Oh, to feel the power of that muscle without that damned skin diluting the experience...
Fitzroy blinked, pausing in his ministrations. Where had that thought from? Kind of morbid, for pillow talk... And yet, he didn't want to linger, didn't want to give Robert any reason to worry... So instead of restrain himself, he kissed the boy deeply, tongue delving into his mouth, trying to lose himself in that craving and forget the other, darker one.
"Ye-eeeees...!!" Robert moaned lustily, hips twitching upward jerkily against Fitzroy's legs, oblivious to the thoughts that floated through the gluttony child's head. His green eyes rolled back at the sensation of the other male's tongue sliding across his neck, needy whimpers passing his lips.
"G-G-God, Fitzroy, pleeease!!" he cried out pathetically, writhing beneath his lover desperately. Immediately, his own tongue slipped out to taste at Fitzroy's mouth, teeth grazing his lips again, hands slipping under the stoner's tye-dyed shirt, nails drawing down the length of his back needily, a particular focus put on those wonderfully sensitive shoulder blades.
Fitzroy was already beyond speech at this point, eyes glazing over with desire and need as Robert cried his name out so beautifully. His hips twitched like mad against Robert's thigh, and his fingers were digging deep into the other's back, practically pinning the human in place. He continued to lick and kiss at Robert's neck, but every single time his teeth pointed out farther, drawing closer and closer to breaking that fragile skin...
It was the shoulder blades that did it, those terrible shoulder blades of his. As his adorable lover exploited his sensitive spot, paired with his desperate moaning, Fitzroy lost all of the control that, to be honest, he barely had in the first place. It was as if a veil was drawn over his eyes, transforming the world into one where he was the predator and Robert- Robert was the delicious, coveted prey. His back arched monstrously, a inhuman snarl passed through his lips, and without an inch of hesitance he bared his teeth and sunk them deep into the meat of Robert's shoulder.
And oh, how wonderful it was. How glorious, how completely satisfying to taste his lover completely and truly. To feel the pounding of his heart and the pumping of his blood not only by seeing it, but feeling it for himself, having the pulse pump the blood into his mouth, fill him up with the joy and power of Robert's life... It intoxicated the Gluttony spawn immediately, and he never believed that he could ever give it up. Moaning and snarling like a beast, he chewed, loving it, loving all of it. More that sex, more than food, more than life itself.
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 4:45 pm
Fitzroy's Journal I... I'm a monster...
I- I can't believe what I did. I... I ripped out my Robert's shoulder. We were, y'know, fooling around, and- and I started having these... These thoughts, they were just evil. They were thoughts... Thoughts of ripping, of biting, of- of eating... Robert. I- I wanted to eat Robert, completely, every inch of him. At first I just tried to shrug them off, but I... I couldn't. I just couldn't, the idea, it- it overtook me. It sounded so good, I almost convinced myself that he would enjoy, that it could sound as delightful to him as it did to me. That he could enjoy is as much as I did...
God, what's wrong with me?! Even looking back on it, part of me can't help but be attracted to the idea... No, I just need to focus. The point is, I... I bit into his shoulder. Deep. Too deep. Muscle and bone, severing crucial tendons deep. It d-didn't help that I ch- I chewed... I made it worse. It- God... It took a while for- For his... screams...
[Continued approximately 6.3 hours later]
I didn't hear his screams for a while, I'm not sure how long. Of course, once I did, I freaked out. Practically flew across the room, the blood g-going sour in my mouth. I called 911, I rode to the hospital in the ambulance, and-and I'm still here now, just... Just waiting. I've been here for hours and hours, chowing on vending machine food and trying to ignore the hellfire looks Robert's mom is giving me. She hated me to begin with, now she has every reason to file a restraining order. To be honest, I wouldn't really complain. I- I have no idea if Robert's ever gonna want to see me again. He's been in surgery all this time, and that makes sense; recon-reconstructing a shoulder must be intense. All I can do now is wait...
I'll be there when he wakes up, for sure, but... I think I'm going to ask him to take a break. With me. I- I don't trust myself with him anymore. I have to be honest, these dark thoughts aren't anything new, they just... Haven't been so pronounced up until now. I think I need to step away, just give the stress of the relationship a break. Maybe even try and remain celibate for a while, although I have to be honest and not expect that of myself. Maybe it's just a thing of mind over matter. I let myself slip with Robert, but if I focus... That shouldn't happen.
Yeah, that's it. I'll step away from Robert - not for long, just for a bit - and work on keeping myself under control. Then I can come back to him, and maybe start to make this all up to him... God I hope I can...
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Posted: Sat Apr 23, 2011 5:56 pm
Just One More Bite
"Maddie, w-wait... M-Maybe we shouldn't, I..."
"What...? No, Fitz, c'mon, pleease... We've been having s-so much fun..."
"Well, but... Y-Yeah, I... Mmmm... I guess you're right..."
"Mmm, you know it. Y'- Y'know - Ooh, be careful - Anyway, I- I've w-wanted this for kinda a long tiiiime..."
"R-Really? Well... I'm flattered, Mads... Aaahh... Wow..."
"Heh, yeah, wow. Oooh, gosh, that's- That's- Ow! Jeez, Fitz, be careful, those teeth hurt you know!"
"R-Right... Sorry. I'll... Be more careful..."
"Hmph. Good. Mmmm... Aaah... That's better..."
"..."
"Oooohh... Mmm, F-Fiiitz... Ah, ah, ow, Fitz- OW! What the- AAAAAHH!! Aaaah, God, Je-AAH! Jesus Christ, st-AAAAH! ********, F-Fitzroy- AAAH! AAAH! AAHAHAHAH STOP, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STO-O-O-OP... Stop... St... Sto..."
---
"Fitzroy...? Bud, are you okay? Sounds like you're sick..." Caspian's tone was sodden with worry as he tapped on the bathroom door. He'd passed by around five times, and each time he was treated to the sound of his son blowing chunks. Not only was it worrisome, but it was started to make him sick to his stomach. "C'mon man, tell what's going-"
"NOTHING! GO AWAY!"
Caspian blinked, stricken. That... That wasn't Fitzroy. It just wasn't. He was the most considerate flower-power boy on the face of the planet, he never yelled at anyone, unless they absolutely deserved it. That's it, something was definitely up. His shoulders stiffened, and he knocked with a bit more resolve. "Fitzroy. Tell me what's going on. Whatever it is, I can help, I will help, so what's going on?"
"Nothing, Dad! God, just..." There was a pause, followed by more terrible sounds, the kind that Caspian never thought he would hear from his sunshine-addled son. Gasps and groans, sobs, gags... It was all too hellish, far too different from what Fitzroy normally was. Something serious had happened, and now Caspian was dead-set on finding out what. He waited semi-patiently for his boy to finish his sentence, shuddering heavily at the quiet gasps and groans. "Just leave me alone..."
"No. God damn it, Fitzroy, something's wrong, and I can tell it's serious. I'm your dad, so you're gonna tell me what happened, and you're gonna tell me now. Now I can either unlock this door myself, or you can open it for me." Caspian looked through his keys until he found the ones for the customer bathroom, and then spoke in a solemn voice. "One..."
"Dad, c'mon, please, just let me be..."
"Two..."
"I just need to be alone, God, can't you just-"
"Three."
"Dad no stop please!"
Caspian was frozen when he saw what his son was doing. His mouth slowly hung open, not even a squeak slipping out. It was... Unbelievable. Fitzroy, his perfectly content - hell, almost aggressively content - Fitzroy, was cowered in the corner, cradling a hand covered in blood. His brown eyes were staring out, wide and watery, from behind lank, sweaty-looking hair, covering his face. But even that couldn't hide the extent of the damage. Caspian could see the patches of dark, sickly red where his green specks used to be, the crude tape holding down his ears and looped around Pac-man, and the puke the color of blood covering his chest. It was a terrible spectacle, but all Caspian could do was sob dryly and run forward, cupping his son's face in his hands. Tears poured down his cheeks as he whispered hollowly. "Fitzroy... What happened to you...?"
"I didn't mean to do it, Daddy..." came the heartbreaking reply, Fitzroy's eyes clinging onto his father's. "I didn't mean to... to..." He lurched and turned his head away, throwing up stomach contents that were pure bile, splattering them against the wall. "She just tasted so good..."
He threw up again, giving Caspian a moment to try and process this, this shattering of all he knew. As he cast his eyes around in horror, they fell upon Fitzroy's hand again and drew forth a gasp. "Fitzroy... What is this...?" He grabbed his son's hand and stared in shock at his finger, practically split down the middle. "What did you do...?"
"It's the demon, Daddy... The demon's making me do this, turning me into- into thi-i-is..." Fitzroy sobbed brokenly, curled against Caspian's chest. "I'm a ******** freak of nature, all thanks to him... I ne-need to get him out... Get him out..."
Caspian trembled as his heart began to race, collapsing under his panic. He couldn't handle this, but he had to handle this, but he couldn't but- "SYEM!" he shrieked, pressing his son his to his chest. "Call an ambulance! Now!" Whatever pathetic strength he had began breaking then, and he weeped along with his son, rocking him back and forth as yet another ambulance drove to the Cathaldus household to carry away the damage...
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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fallingUPstairs__x x Crew
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Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 3:34 pm
Fitzroy's Journal So... here I am. For once, I really don't have anything to say, and for once, I'm being made to write. The counselors at this place tell me that it will help me confront... what happened. But I really don't want to confront it. Part of me would just love to stay here, where I'm taken care of and monitored and fed good food. There's no stress or choice; I just do what they say. And it's easy. But I suppose life can't be easy. As much as I... Oh, I don't know. I don't know anything anymore.
Well, where to begin? I'm in a facility; not THE facility, but just a place on the floor of a big general hospital. It's for teenagers who... are a danger to themselves. Like I am now. It's made to be super-safe in case anyone tries to commit suicide; there isn't even anywhere to hang your towels after your shower. It's honestly like a day-camp; we do yoga, arts and crafts, and little stuff like that. The only change is that we have therapy mixed into the schedule too. All the days are pretty much the same, so I really have no idea how long I've been in here. I've seen my dad twice, but that was the only change.
And why, do you ask, is peppy, sunshiney Fitzroy in this place? Well, because, I'm currently wrestling with the notion that I am a monster, or at least mostly monster. After all, I wrecked my boyfriend's shoulder and ate one of my friends, bones and all. I have wicked sharp teeth that scare children when I smile at them and mutant hands that make people stare, even if they try to hide it. My stomach is personified for the world to see, a grinning maw on my waist with next to no conscience. I look like a monster because I am a monster; I'm descended from a long line of monsters, heartless creatures who live only to satisfy their own selfish cravings. Any virtue that I have, even genetically, only exists to help spread my sin, make it so I can't control myself even more. I have no self-control, I've come to realize. None whatsoever.
But they say that staying here will help me learn some. By the grace of God I'm not being persecuted for what I did to Maddie; her mother always liked me, and she said that she understood. Plus I think my dad's boyfriend hired a top-notch lawyer, probably pleading insanity on my part. And it's true, when I was eating my friend alive - see how calmly I can write that now? Is that self-control or just numbing acceptance? - that I felt insane. I wasn't myself. I was the monster inside me, the Gluttony demon's spawn. Heh, to think that I mourned his death once. If I could, I'd kill him myself...
Eesh, they'll be mad at me when they read that. The counselors, I mean. But it's true, and they told me to just be honest. So I am. I think I'm gaining some control; I'm surviving on the small portions of food that they give us, at least. But I miss my friends and my family, so much that I think I'm seeing things. There aren't any spawn here, I was quick to check, but I keep on thinking that I see Adelle... I'm not so keen on socializing now, though, so I just keep my distance. I wouldn't want to hurt her, either way. What if I eat her too...?
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