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 Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 10:55 am
W O R L D x E V E N T x R E F L E C T I O NSpring Showers Rain is cleansing, or so people say. So perhaps this is a sign from whatever powers that watch us that I'm on the right path. Admittedly, it's quite a bit of rain, and I don't really think I need that much cleansing. I've certainly made less mistakes than some people, and by comparison to many of my race, I might as well be a saint. But that's neither here no there. No reason to be offended by the weather, I suppose.
Sauti is... about what I expected. Good enough for my plans, anyway. No traces of war, not many Obans, just rocks, dirt, and a crisp breeze. I don't know much about homemaking, but I think this place will suit me just fine, if I'm able to set up a more permanent residence, anyway. Preferably somewhere that's sturdy enough to keep out the rain. Somewhere that isn't a cave and maybe has a reliable lake or pond or river nearby.
It almost sounds strange, but I'm a little excited. I don't expect things to be easier than they ever were, but they'll be different, better, I think. And for now, that's enough. It's more than satisfying.Results: +1 Versatile Point; Xilarn arrives in Sauti.
Word Count: 852
JR Word Count: 196
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Posted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 9:42 am
B A T T L E x R E F L E C T I O N[Sauti] Sathe vs Xilarn ...
(N/A - NRP battle)Results: Lost the battle.
Word Count: N/A
JR Word Count: N/A
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Posted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 8:10 am
P R P x R E F L E C T I O NBreak From Mundane I've spent days and weeks and months alone in Sauti, with no one and nothing to keep entertained. Then sporadically and by fate's heavy hand, Kennet shows up. I'v no idea how he got here or how he found me, but all I can think is how lucky he is to have managed it. Perhaps he's been at it for as long as I've been gone, but I'd be inclined to strongly doubt that. I wouldn't exactly say he was great at perseverance.
But he said he loved me.
I find it hard to believe.
Things didn't go the way I wanted them to. Not in Sauti, and not lo those many months ago in Tale. He cannot simply appear and say such things when he wasn't there for me- He didn't listen when I told him we didn't need to be a part of any war. He should've, though. He should've listened to me.
Regardless of how I feel about him (questionable), we did turn the night into something unexpectedly memorable. We probably shouldn't have, as I'm still sketchy on anything he says and does, but it's too late to turn back now. If nothing else, the company is welcome.Results: Xil and Ken find each other and decide they're either really angry or really happy about it.
PRP Posts: 15
JR Word Count: 201
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Posted: Sun May 10, 2015 10:28 am
W O R L D x E V E N T x R E F L E C T I O NDid You Hear? I can't be blamed for missing my mother. Out here in the boring and inhospitable landscape of Sauti, my thoughts have time to wander. They wander to my childhood; my time in the big cities. Where there were a plethora of smells and people and shoving. Maybe not all good things, but I almost... miss the multitude of shops and people that didn't look at me as though I'd offended them with my presence. I remember days with my brother and sister. Cether used to enjoy taking me hunting, if only because I gaped at him in his brutal killing of harmless animals.
Daia used to take me shopping. She used to be more of a girl than she is now. She'd buy these ridiculous outfits for no reason accept to dress me up and have a good bit of fun at my expense. I didn't mind that so much. She used to say 'Yes, my Lord,' when I gave her an order. As long as I was dressed up, anyway.
I had- have? I expect she's still doing well enough- a cousin too; Ziari. We used to be close, before I moved. Our days were spent traveling to the market, playing games, chasing perzi through the streets. And talking. Always talking. I probably had more to say than she ever did, always complaining about my father and my brother. It's been a long time since I've spoken with my mother, but longer still since I've had any communication with Zi. I've sent my mother a letter. Perhaps she deserves one as well.
It'll be interesting to see what she's up to, when compared with my own siblings.Results: +1 Versatile Point; Xilarn sends a letter to his mum.
Word Count: 972
JR Word Count: 278
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Posted: Tue Jun 09, 2015 9:46 am
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Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2015 1:11 pm
F A M I L I A R x S O L O
House of Naeght It really was time to return to Kesris.
After Kennet so graciously sought him out within the barren wasteland that was Sauti's borders, Xilarn had adamantly put the actual trip home off. They still moved, of course, winding trails across the land with only Xil's promises of 'we'll be there soon' to guide them. But in the back of the Oban's mind, he worried what they would be like once they really settled in the home he'd made for himself. His abode was not large or fancy, even after the extensive renovations. And while that didn't exactly seem like something the native wildling, Kennet would mind, Xil never felt too sure.
They'd spent the past several nights together... They avoided any further egregious arguing probably by sheer luck alone. Luck and maybe the increased level of intimacy and satisfaction, though Xil didn't want to convince himself that he could bank on that to keep Ken happy. To be fair, he didn't know what to expect once he 'settled down' with his hybrid companion. How long would it take for Kennet's flighty and unpredictable nature to kick in and for him to decide that he was ready for something else? Xilarn had no idea, and no way of knowing. But something told him that as long as he kept moving, it would be less of a concern.
However, the constant travel and lack of the commodities of home were quickly becoming exhausting. As much as Xil wanted to keep his companion- no, his lover entertained, happy, and appeased, the adventures were starting to wear on him. He was tired of sleeping in the cramped tent, tired of carrying all his supplies around, tired of hunting on a daily basis with no way of storing leftovers for later. He wanted clean clothes, clean sheets, and booze. By the gods was he ready for that mug of ale now.
For now, he sat outside. The sky was pitch dark, dotted with tiny pinpricks of lights. Deep blues swooped through the blackness, giving the scenery an almost painted look. The fire crackled at his side, spitting violently at the Oban man every time Xil saw fit to give it a jab with his poker. The night was crisp. Windy. Xilarn knew it would do him better to turn in, to crawl in his tent, get under the blankets, and press himself to Kennet's back. Even Gadot was tuckered out, flopped messily on his side, with the remains of a capramel tucked beneath his paws. Xilarn could only grimace at the great, hairy beast. He'd undoubtedly need a bath before he'd be allowed back into the house... If Xil could manage to force that on him.
He could only hope 'home' was as welcoming to Kennet as it was to him.
Raking his fingers back through his dreads, Xilarn moved to stand. At the sounds of shifting from his owner, Gadot blearily raised his head, blinking hazy orbs up at the Fire man. He gave a soft grumble, flicking his tail out and around his back paws. "What have you got to complain about?" Xil griped at the raptrix's skeptical stare. "You don't even have a mate, and if you stick it out here, you likely never will." He crouched once more, perching near Gadot's head and ruffling up the fur around his ears. "It's really just as well. It'll save you some stress."
Though, realistically, to an animal, it was probably agony. Instinct dictated that one of the great goals of a creature's life was to breed and propagate the species. It wasn't impossible that Gadot had done this while Xilarn wasn't monitoring him, but it seemed unlikely, none the less. And frankly, even if the species wasn't necessarily furthered, that didn't exactly take away from other needs, as Xil had been quick to learn in the waning days. If Kennet did grow tired of him, he very well may take to finding - and subsequently frequently visiting - a brothel.
Gadot gave a scoff and a toss of his head before resting his chin upon the dirt.
"Oh, please," Xilarn scoffed as he rose once more and turned his back to his ever-vigilant and mostly-reliable pup. "You've no idea what I'm talking about, let alone what I'm thinking. You've probably never even seen a girl of your species. We've never been in Zena long enough, I think. I would know if you disappeared for that length of time, surely." Gadot may have been able to mate before he was captured by Obans, but Xil had always believed him to be fairly young when he was taken. Too young for a raptrix family, anyway. "If you don't know what you're missing, it can't hurt you. My company will have to be enough for now. And Kennet's, for as long as he stays."
With that, Xilarn departed into his tent, laying down with his mate, and leaving the mutt to his activities...
Morning found light streaming in through the too-thin membranous walls of the tent. Despite the light of day, the air was still cold. Not as cold as the stiff, wet nose sticking to the back of his neck. Xil grunted. He didn't want to move. The blankets were warm. He'd wake Ken... After several more instances of feeling icy nose and warm breath skittering over his back, Xilarn swatted at the intrusion. It didn't leave him, and he turned to face-
He nearly shrieked, but instead choked out a slew of curses as his arms fumbled about for the spear that served as his weapon. The creature that stood before him was larger than Gadot; fuller, more colorful, broader and taller. It's wings were sleek-feathered, dull mulberry to pink-violet in tone and splattered with small orange dots. It's eyes were fiery, challenging.
Even so, it had no business being in the already-cramped tent. Despite the teeth it bared at him, it didn't attack when Xilarn nudged its chest, encouraging with only some hesitance for the raptrix to back out. When it did, he followed it.
And there was Gadot, sitting upright, wings tucked, tail wagging, waiting on the other side of the tent for him. "What? Is this your woman?" Xilarn snapped irritably. "Where did she come from? Why is she here?" Gadot ruffed. "Do you just have to prove everything I say wrong?"
Not only that, but in time, the Fire man would learn that the great hulk of colorful raptrix was not female. And this somehow, despite any of Xilarn's prior knowledge, did not limit the two of them to play-fighting and cuddles. Gadot's bays and chittering yips were evidence enough of that, without the need for Xilarn to actually witness anything for himself. Whatever power had gifted the mutt with intelligence was likely laughing at him now. 'Too much testosterone' was likely not something either raptrix would understand.
On the upside, having two raptrix to cart Xilarn, Kennet, and their various things around would be more convenient. Xil convinced himself this was why he allowed the larger male (he'd settled on the name of Naeght) to stay. And not because Naeght was far more irritable and unforgiving than Gadot had ever been.x
x
Results: Obtained Naeght the raptrix.
Word Count: 1200
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Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2015 11:35 am
C L A S S x Q U E S T x R E F L E C T I O NClass Quest 2 Oftentimes it seems like the toughest trials yield the most reward. Though I am not entirely convinced this is the case now. The boy I met in the wilds had his parents (or his mother at very least) killed by the Alkidike extremists. he refuses to give me much information about her, though I can only assume that she died in the protection of her land and her son. It is a noble death, but Akiyal has not taken the news well.
He was a mess when I found him; dirty, malnourished, and downright ornery. He wouldn't speak to me or let me help him. He was sickly and had slightly violent tendencies. Small, so harmless, but he had absolutely no qualms about trying to bat or kick me away from him. I think he might have gone on like that until he died. What a stubborn child. I convince myself that he simply didn't know better, as young as he is. He didn't know what was going to happen. I'm not fond of the alternative.
In any case, in the night, a sermal attacked, and together with Naeght, we fended it off. Something in the night must have clicked with Akiyal, because he's been much more manageable since. It was still work to nurse him back to health. He is still quiet and generally unresponsive, but I think he's getting better. He lets me hold him. He asks questions about things, occasionally. He sleeps with Naeght, though I fond that worrisome, personally. I've no idea how patient this newer raptrix is for children... I've found him some properly fitting, clean clothes and am able to feed him food I think he probably enjoys. There are some nights when he is exceptionally demure, though I've not much idea how to fix that...
I'm still waiting for the right time to ask him more.Results: Class Quest passed; Xilarn meets Akiyal.
Word Count: 2489
JR Word Count: 313
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 1:05 pm
A D O P T I O N x S O L O
One Good Reason "Akiyal?"
At his name, the blond boy looked up from his place on the wooden floor, his fingers stilling from their erratic scribbles with a bit of chalky rock on paper. Blue eyes turned up to Xilarn, wide and inquisitive, curious. The violet raptrix at his side also raised his head, waiting and expecting some reaction from the younger boy. But the Wind child remained silent, his dark coloring utensil still gripped in his hand as Xil knelt down to his side.
"It's time for bed, hm? Don't you think?" He queried softly, hopping that Akiyal would take suggestion better than command. The boy's gaze fell. As it was, his young charge disliked the night. With bright sky, and sun, and wakefulness, the Wind child abandoned a few of his reservations. He was still quiet, distant, reserved, but it was almost as if he looked at things differently. He didn't shy from new things. He pondered over pictures and trinkets that Xilarn offered him. He expressed interest and curiosity. He touched things, looked at things, sometimes hummed broken melodies Xil couldn't identify. he acted in ways that the Oban assumed were within his intrinsic nature. How he'd been before his mother passed.
In the night, things changed. He lapsed into silence, kept his gaze down, tucked in on himself. Akiyal sat and stayed on the floor. He didn't poke around or respond positively to Xilarn's offers of food, clothes, play, baths, or attention in general. He dreaded and feared the night. At first Xilarn suspected it was simply that he'd worn himself out during the day, and his patience for activity was merely at an end. That he would be happy to fall asleep in the spare room of the cabin and return to his usual demeanor in the morning.
Except Akiyal never took to sleeping in that room. He would not sleep alone, and yet he refused to share accommodations with Xilarn or Kennet. He stayed in the living room, in the same pile of blankets he'd slept in their very first night together. After the attack, Xilarn assumed he would prefer to sleep in an actual bed, but no. He stayed adamantly and possessively at Naeght's side during the night. When the raptrix stepped away, Akiyal followed. When the beast slunk into Xilarn's room and took up post on the floor, Akiyal waited just outside the threshold, leaning against the door frame and staring inside at the raptrix.
If Naeght managed to escape while Aki dozed and did not return before he woke, the Wind boy would scream. Even if Xilarn rushed to comfort him, Akiyal swatted and pushed him away, howling until Naeght returned to his vision.
Xlarn asked him, repeatedly, about his dreams. No matter when or how the question was posed, he received only a shrug in response. He asked about family and friends, or if there was someplace familiar to him that he'd rather be, but Akiyal ignored his efforts to learn anything about him. Xilarn assumed he couldn't have been staying very far away from where he'd been found, but the Wind tribe was nomadic; wherever they'd been at the time, Xilarn was sure they weren't there now. He asked around Kesris, because perhaps one of the traders there would know anything about a missing child. No luck.
"Come now," Xilarn murmured, as he took the resisting child in his arms and picked him up. He moved from the study back out to the living room. Akiyal's tiny fists bunched in the fabric of his shirt, and he grumbled soft complaints against Xil's shoulder. "Would you like me to stay with you?" He asked, as he did every night.
And, as was becoming routine, the answer was no. Xil sighed, settling the boy on the pallet of blankets and tucking him in tightly. He whistled for Naeght, and beckoned with a finger for him to lay, stay, be still. Satisfied that this night would continue to go as the others generally did, Xilarn murmured. "You can sleep with me if you're scared." Akiyal huffed softly, and turned on his side, arm extending so that just the tips of his fingers pushed into the raptrix's fur. "Very well," Xil rumbled. "You know where I'll be." He rose then, and stiffly strode to the room he shared with his lover.
While he prepared for bed- disrobed, washed his face, tied back his hair- Xilarn wondered what it might be like to have his own child. Certainly nothing like Akiyal. Well, perhaps as unruly, though likely in a different sense of the word. Though ever since he was a young teenager, when he'd first admitted to his cousin that he held a much more overwhelming interest in men than woman, he expected to never know. He didn't think he'd care to know.
He wasn't familiar with many people a great deal younger than him, and he'd never had smaller any siblings. The family dynamic at his own home convinced him that there would likely never be any want for him to add to his family. Certainly nothing he could bring into the world would be welcomed by them.
Xilarn slipped into bed at Kennet's back, sliding an arm around his waist and pressing his nose to the hybrid's neck. He had no idea what Ken's feelings of children were, though he'd certainly never seen evidence that Ken could bring himself to sleep with a woman. Wasn't even entirely convinced that he could successfully reproduce in that way, considering half his blood was Alkidike. And how awkward would a surrogate be, anyway? Knowing that one of them had slept with someone else; that they shared their baby with a stranger.
He involuntarily shuddered in revulsion.
Kennet could always pray to his tree- his ancestors or his goddess or whatever it was the Alkidike did- but in the state things were now, Xilarn had no interest letting him make that journey. The extremists might've been expunged, but it seemed unlikely that all the bad blood was fully eradicated. They'd never been fond of hybrids, and Xil doubted that had changed over the course of the battle.
So if he did fully commit himself to wanting a child, it should be one with no other feasible options. One who needed him as much as he wanted it- him. Akiyal was adapting slowly, but he was adapting, in his own way. Xilarn didn't expect the child would ever call him 'father.' But with time, he was sure to embrace this new take on life, inasmuch as he could.
Xilarn refused to get attached to the idea until he was for certain none of Akiyal's family would return to claim him. It was a thought to entertain himself with, but until he could be sure... His fingers slid over the rise of his mate's hips, lips finding the nook between neck and shoulder to suck at. "Kennet," he rumbled. "Are you awake? I've got too much on my mind to sleep just yet..."x
x
Results: While preparing his family for bed, Xil ponders children and child-rearing.
Word Count: 1172
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2015 3:09 pm
A D O P T I O N x S O L O
Minutes to Memories The coming weeks brought a lull in excitement, and an almost crippling drop in the amount of business Xilarn was able to do away from home. Per his general routine, he liked to take a trip up to Zena once every other month to hunt weywa and roati for pelts that he could peddle in the slightly more temperate Sauti environment. It was an especially necessary and beneficial journey during this time of year, just before the weather turned frigid and people became desperate for warmth.
Unfortunately, Akiyal could not be left alone with Kennet, and he was certainly not old enough or tame enough to make the trip at Xilarn's side. The Oban male knew he had no choice but to stay, but that didn't mean he felt confident of how they would fare in the winter. Still, it wasn't a concern he could express openly.
Xilarn stood behind the Wind boy, lightly tugging a fine-toothed comb through his now-shining blond hair. Aki had become quite tolerant of the older male's attempts at upkeep. He certainly wasn't thrilled about it, but the whole activity had begun to lapse from pure displeasure, to simple impatience. Akiyal shifted his feet as Xil smoothed the back of his play-ruffled hair down. "How long have you lived in Sauti?"
"Always," Akiyal grunted in response, now fidgeting disinterestedly with his fingernails.
Xilarn attempted to learn what he could about the child. He was old enough to communicate, had memories of his life before his mother's death, and knew what needed to be done for him. Xil was unfamiliar with all of these things, unless Akiyal specifically made a point to tell him. As it was, Aki was particularly unhelpful. So Xil sought out other means of knowledge. He read books, spoke to people in town, begged the wisdom of mothers and fathers that he traded with. Enough time had gone by that they didn't expect him of any wrongdoing, though every now and then he received a curious brow quirk or unimpressed scoff when he spoke of Akiyal being a Wind child that he 'saved.'
Nonetheless, for the child's benefit, they helped him. They invited him to ask Aki questions, even if he didn't respond. They told him to read to him, offer him food often, take charge of his hygiene, touch him, invite him to do everything. "He needs your attention," one of the women informed him as they walked the scanty marketplace, her own son leading the way. When the boy paused at a stall, his mother stopped at his back, lightly resting her hand on the top of his head. "It might seem as though he doesn't want it, but he's suffered a great loss. He needs someone there."
Xilarn was trying- trying very hard. Akiyal didn't want to do much of anything, particularly if it involved leaving the house. As far as Xil could see, he wanted to be left to his own devices. He wanted to draw or look at picture books or play games by himself. When the Oban offered to join him, he refused.
"Is that so?" Xilarn murmured. Akiyal nodded. There was a pause- a silence in which Xil wondered which way to persevere with the conversation. Ask him which parts of Sauti he liked? He was too young to remember seeing much of it. Ask him what he'd done for fun in 'the old days?' "Will you tell me about your mother?" It had been a while since Xilarn asked about her. Perhaps even months. Attempting at talking about the unknown woman were often met poorly.
Akiyal was quiet for some time, until- "She was... tall. And happy. She watched birds a lot. And sometimes she would scream at them to make me happy, because of the way they all flew away. She had a bigger belly than most others. She liked to eat, but not to cook. She wasn't good at cooking. She carried a bow and rope, and when we found trees, she would climb them with me. And she would shoot-" He moved his arm forward a little, straightening it like an arrow. "-and make swings with rope and arrows. She would jump from really high. I wasn't allowed to. She sang to me at night. And told me about people she met. She talked a lot. So I just listened. She was very loud. She didn't like to stay with one group too long, so we were on our own lots too. She could hunt. And she carried what she shot on her back. She was strong."
"You traveled frequently..." Xilarn muttered, wondering what this meant for finding any of Akiyal's relatives. "Did your father travel with you?"
"I don't have one. Mama said she laid me in an egg, and hatched me by herself. She said she fed me worms when I was real little, 'cause she thought that would help my wings grow in. And when I was ready, I would fly."
Xilarn's lip quirked unbidden, though he didn't have the heart to tell the child the improbability of all that. "Perhaps she was right."
"I don't think so," Aki grunted. "I think Mama just said stuff she dreamed sometimes. She said a lot of things. She told me she would never leave me." His voice wavered, posture stiffening. His crystal gaze tipped to the floor, and he drew his arm up to scrub across his nose. "She lied."
Xilarn crouched to the floor in front of him. Akiyal sniffled and shook, and Xil collected the boy in his arms, drawing him close and lifting him. "Shh," he hummed softly, swaying gently as Aki rubbed his nose and eyes against Xilarn's shoulder. "Just because you cannot see her doesn't mean she isn't there. Your mother sounds like a brave, noble, and honest woman; I don't think she'd tell you anything that isn't true."
"Th'n wheyer?" Aki sobbed.
"She's in your thoughts and in your heart and in your blood. As long as she's in yours, she's in mine." Akiyal whimpered softly, earning him another round of shushing and back rubbing. "Would you like me to teach you to shoot the like your mother?" Akiyal was still, his fingers clenching into Xil's shirt. Then a sniffle, and a terse nod. "Good, good, yes," Xilarn hummed. "And perhaps one day, you can fly as well."x
x
Results: Akiyal tells Xil a little about him mother and his life before she died.
Word Count: 1064
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Posted: Fri Aug 21, 2015 9:53 am
P R P x R E F L E C T I O NRough and Tumble XILARN'S THOUGHTSResults: ???
PRP Posts: ???
JR Word Count: ???
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 3:52 pm
D E V E L O P M E N T A L x S O L O
Dawn's Early Light Dawn was Xilarn's favorite time of day.
The first light of the sun chased away the uncertainty of night, bathing the world in a dim, hopeful glow. Dawn spoke of new beginnings and second chances. It promised an end to the bleakest of nights and assured the sun would always rise. Dawn was quiet. Dawn was peaceful. Even when it ended, even when the sun rose high and the temperature spiked and the world became active, dawn returned the next day. It was an amazingly reliable phenomenon.
Not as much could be said for anything else in Xilarn's life at the present.
Nothing he used to love was precious anymore. He did not want to speak to his friends or family. The usual day-to-day activities, like eating, washing, and sleeping were impossible and unnecessary tasks. He vacillated between an unhealthy, immeasurable rage and a vast, unending sorrow. He became almost positive that he simply could not continue to exist. If anyone had ever told him losing something would feel like this, Xilarn wouldn't have believed it.
But he had to continue, because of the loose ends. There were always loose ends.
So he sat on his porch, looked out toward the mountains, and watched the sunrise. For once in the last several waning months, Xil felt calm. Maybe it was the way the dewdrops that littered the grass for miles glittered in those early dawn beams. Or the blazing, red orange sky that spilled between the hills and painted everything bright crimson. The air was thick as a down blanket, unusual for a Sauti autumn, but no less comforting in the cocoon it offered, and it smelled like warm copper.
His fingers were wet with some dense, slippery liquid that stained his already dark tanned skin nearly black, but Xilarn found he didn't mind that as much as he expected. He was content. He felt accomplished, and the slip-slide of the pads of his fingers against the granular wood of his porch chair would not take that from him.
And there, moving in from the road, approach signaled by the bounce and reach of her shadow, came Janella. Her company was not unexpected to him, even at this early hour. The Wind woman was a constant and unwavering presence in Xilarn's life, especially recently. He knew she worried. Not for him, but for his child. For Akiyal. Xil sighed, leaned back into his chair, and shut his eyes.
When he opened them again, the woman was climbing the three creaky steps to his cabin. Janella smiled when he looked at her. It was the same fixed reassurance she always approached him with these days. Cautious, uncertain, but still hopeful and laced with a sort of anticipation that Xilarn couldn't place.
He decided to try his hand at offering her something equally reassuring. He tipped his head ever so slightly, long, disheveled, messy dreads spilling over his shoulder and dampening the front of his tunic with the same dark, sticky liquid that was on his fingers. The corner of his lip edged up in what he assumed was a chipper-enough show of teeth, and he propped his chin in his palm, dragging streaks of red from his fingers down his cheek. "Good morning, Janella."
Something in her expression wavered, then. Less openly hopeful and more budding concern. The Wind woman's eyes widened ever so slightly and her steps faltered on the edge of his porch. She stared at him, and Xilarn was under the distinct impression that she was trying to approach and process this rationally. He waited patiently, expectantly, while Janella opened and closed her mouth several times. It took her maybe the full span of a minute before she could look directly at him and mutter in a low, soft tone, "What have you been up to this morning?"
Xilarn gave a flippant gesture of twisting his hand through the air and shrugging. What he did with his time was not her business. He considered her a friend in as much of a way as the word could mean to him at present, but sometimes Janella's input was just not needed. "Tying up some loose ends."
She did not like that answer.
The barely-leashed concern in her eyes fractured and spilled into an unsuppressible wave of terror. Her lips pinched shut, her blue eyes snapped wide, and her entire body tensed. Xilarn always anticipated this would make people look weak. But it didn't with Janella. It added an air of ferocity and determination to her that he wasn't accustomed to seeing. She stepped toward him and leaned down to eye level. "Where's Akiyal?" Her voice was a low hiss laced with trepidation and warning. They both knew that nothing he said would make her feel better.
So Xilarn hardly even had time to get the words, "He's safe," from his lips before the golden-haired woman shoved by him and slammed open the door to his home. Her entrance was not a quiet one. Every step Jan took sounded heavy against the wooden floor, and even though Xilarn opted to stay on the porch, he felt he could fairly accurately judge her location.
In the living room, though not willing to linger long. "Akiyal?" Her voice was high and loud, different from the tone she'd used with him. Xilarn thought it bordered on hysteria, but wasn't quite there yet.
She moved to the hallway at a brisk pace and ended at Aki's door. She opened it with such a viciousness that Xilarn could hear that too, with surprising clarity. Almost as though he were standing next to her. "Are you in here? I don't want to play, baby, so you need to come out."
She would be so, so disappointed.
Xilarn settled in, and tipped his head back to appreciate the growing spill of light through the hills. To be honest, he wasn't especially fond of the color red. It looked too much like a desert sunrise, and he really did prefer the more muted way the sun welcomed the mountains into daytime. Tomorrow's dawn would be better. If nothing else, there would be less to worry about. It was a welcome thought, considering the usual barrage of, 'I can't do this, I can't do this. I don't want to look at you. I shouldn't be doing this alone.' If anyone understood, it would be Akiyal. He didn't like to be alone either, and he'd be grateful for an end to that. This benefited the both of them.
Janella was at Xilarn's door now. She was crying before she'd even opened it, shaking before she so much as touched the handle. Xil could see it as if he was standing right at her shoulder. Janella was not like him and his son. She would not understand. But it was her problem to deal with. Because Xil was at peace. He'd done the right thing, even if it was hard.
She screamed, a high-pitched echo of dread and hysteria, but the sound ended faster than he expected. As the feeling of proximity to her washed away and her wails petered out...
Xilarn's eyes snapped open, body lurching so roughly to the side that he nearly dropped from his bed. The first instant of his consciousness was filled with the horrible, gut-wrenching sensation that he was going to be ill. In the second, he managed to take note of how black his bedroom was and acquaint himself with the familiar sound of a thousand raindrops smashing into the roof his his house. Thunder rolled. In the third instant: fear. Deep, foreboding, and impossible to ignore.
From his bedside, Gadot whimpered, and his claws scratched against the floorboards as he kneaded the ground. It was the single least encouraging sound the raptrix had ever made.
Xilarn reached blindly out, fumbling through his blankets until his fingers met with a mop of blond hair and the warm skin of his son's cheek. Akiyal hadn't been sleeping with him for long. In fact, the young boy was aggressively against it until recent events spurned a sort of accepting kinship between them. Aki had called him 'dad.' And Xilarn dreamed of slaughtering him.
Xil shuddered as he retracted his hand and dropped his face into his pillow. There was a sparse moment of relief. Akiyal was still breathing- snoring, really- laying on his back, eyes closed, mouth open, blankets kicked off of him in his attempts to remain free and unconfined during the night, sleeping contentedly.
The relief was short-lived. Everything after was a jumbled mess of terror, guilt, and hopelessness. He slipped from his bed and slunk from the room, quietly shutting the door behind him and locking the two raptrix in the room with his boy. He told himself he would never- he wouldn't. Ever. Hurt Akiyal. Never. But he'd thought about it. He'd thought about it while completely lucid.
He realized he didn't have anywhere to go. The usual spot, his porch, was suddenly terrifying. And nowhere else in his own home even seemed worth the trip to get there. Or there was no reason to be there. He wasn't going to do anything with himself except sit, be horrified, and plead with himself to believe that he was a good parent. Or not the worst parent, in any case. Xil pressed his back to the wall and slid to a sit.
His heart still hammered, and his eyes stung with the very real threat of unwanted tears.
This was not how life was supposed to happen. One did not simply find the love of their life, make a home, revel in it for a few short years, adopt a child who needed the love, attention, and stability, and then inexplicably lose. Everything. Without warning or reason. He was supposed to have been happy. Xilarn tipped his head back and pressed his palms to his eyes, willing the burning in his face to stop.
He shouldn't be crying. It was Kennet's fault. He shouldn't have left. Or Akiyal's fault for plaguing him in his nightmares. Or his fault. He shouldn't have let Kennet leave. His should've gone with him, but he'd had Aki. Xil's thoughts flickered back to his most recent dream, that feeling of accomplishment and contentment. He didn't have any problems. He was just alone.
No.
No, no, no.
This wasn't rational. Xilarn knew it wasn't, and he stuck by his assertions that he'd never hurt his son. He was a good parent, dealing with some not-so-good things. He wasn't a killer. He didn't hate or blame children for things that were out of their hands. Xilarn was just angry, and he didn't have any right to be that, either. Not toward Aki. Repeating it didn't take the fear away. And 'I'm not a killer,' was easily overtaken by the more prevalent mantra, 'I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this...' Crying ceased to be a 'threat,' and he was forever trapped in doing things he didn't want to do, but couldn't stop.
Akiyal could not be one of those things. Six-year-old children did not have the same mentality as adults. Aki wouldn't blame himself or wish death on the people who cared about him. He was young and still had so many things to live for. He could have a good life. He deserved one. He certainly needed a better one than what Xil was currently capable of providing.
Xilarn sucked in a shaky breath. In a few hours, he would leave his house. In a few hours, he would ask Janella to keep Akiyal, just for a few days. Maybe a week or two, if it wasn't too troublesome. And tonight he would sleep better because Akiyal would have someone proper taking care of him.
But he was a good parent, and he wouldn't leave Aki with Janella indefinitely.x
x
Results: Xil copes with having a kid and being alone.
Word Count: 1984
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Posted: Sun Jan 10, 2016 3:53 pm
H U N T x R E F L E C T I O NThis Would Have Been Great I'm not displeased with how things turned out. I'm wary, because I'm sure even if I come home having turned a profit, that won't spare me from Akiyal's foul temper. I expect Janella might be in a mood as well, though that is her right, if nothing else. Still, I imagine the storm will be worse the longer I wait it out. And I could've been gone far longer.
Akiyal is getting to that age where I'm starting to hope he understands that sometimes priorities need to be made. Feelings aren't going to be spared if the alternative is no food on the table. Not everyone is going to be pleased about everything that happens, ever. I'm sure he won't see things my way, but maybe it'll be a shove in the right direction, in any case. Since it's just the two of us now, it won't exactly do for him to be offended every time I need to be somewhere...Results: +93 exp; taming succeeded.
Word Count: 1405
JR Word Count: 161
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 4:15 pm
P R P x R E F L E C T I O NChase the Wind I always expected Akiyal would want to ride. I knew he'd want to fly, as he mentioned when he was very young, but I never wanted to give too much credence to the idea in those early years. He used to be so small, and so scared, and he didn't even trust me. Expecting him to command anything with enough degree of success to accomplish his goals seemed... out of the question, at best.
Hazardous at worst.
I was seventeen when I first flew. Of course, I didn't have anyone to show me how, and Gadot was not what I'd call 'trained,' but it worked out in all the ways I might've expected. I kept Akiyal on the ground for longer than was probably reasonable. I kept him at home because it was safe and easier to manage him, and... to me, he is still a scared, motherless toddler being attack by a giant savanna cat. Am I unreasonable for wanting to be a better guardian than my parents? Who actually allows their youngest son to-
But that's another matter entirely. I am not like them, and when we travel, we will do it together, and I will be there to ensure any mistakes he makes can be fixed. For all his complaints about not going anywhere or doing anything, I hope a few days in Oba will satiate him enough for a time.Results: Xil gives his son riding lessons.
PRP Posts: 21
JR Word Count: 234
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Posted: Mon Mar 14, 2016 4:16 pm
P R P x R E F L E C T I O NJust Fly Away XILARN'S THOUGHTSResults: ???
PRP Posts: ???
JR Word Count: ???
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Posted: Thu May 05, 2016 12:01 pm
P R P x R E F L E C T I O NOf Gods and Men The kids in this city just keep getting weirder.
I admit I didn't expect much excitement in the interim between when Akiyal left and the time I would follow. If I was especially unlucky, my mother or siblings would send for me, and we'd pick up right where we left off in this mess. I should've known better. I shouldn't have come here. Mother's curiosity and concern are easily overshadowed by Father's blind hatred and racism. Nothing in Oba is ever calm or normal. I knew that. I've always known that. But here I am.
And as it turns out, I can be unfortunate in regards to people besides my family. Damissan Mataou is exactly what I'd expect from a noble boy born and raised in this horrific city. Loud, pompous, entitled. He definitely thinks he's intelligent and he can probably turn a phrase to someone who isn't, but I am decidedly not impressed.
Still, he's just a dump kid and if you're allowed to make mistakes at any point in your life, this is probably it. Hopefully those mistakes don't usually result in people trying to kill you, but I imagine it's more or less of a coin flip in this place.
In any event, he didn't die. So that's probably some brand of luck from one of us.Results: Met Damis.
PRP Posts: 10
JR Word Count: 220
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