+ I'm not into fashion.
+ I'm not going to do your hair or make-up.
+ I don't dress like a woman.
+ I don't have a high-pitched voice.
+ I don't know your gay friend in Iowa, California, or New York.
+ I'm not obsessed with musicals.
+ I've never seen Wicked.
+ I don't watch Queer as Folk, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and RuPaul's Drag Race.
+ I don't hit on every-single-guy.
+ I don't have sex 24/7.
+ I'm not in love with Cher or Lady Gaga.
HOWEVER
+ I was a firefighter for three years.
+ I was in the military for one year.
+ I know how to use a gun and a knife.
+ I know how to fight [for self-defense].
+ I play video games almost daily.
If anything, I'm probably one of the straightest gays out there. If you ever cross my path with an extremely negative and disrespectful attitude, you'd better believe I'll bust out my military training.