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 Posted: Sun Sep 03, 2006 11:47 am
Lestat X Alright, here it goes... So a guy walks into a pet shop that specializes in musical animals. He sees two Cockatoos, one red, one blue. So he asks the manager, "what's up with the red one?" And he says "Well, it can sing Wgner's entire Ring Cycle, and it costs $5,000." So the guy says "What about the blue one?" And the manager says "It can sing any of Mozart's lullabies, and it's only $3000." So then the guy says "Those are nice, but do you have anything else?" And the manager says, "We've got a white one in the back, and it's $20,000." So the guy says "WHOA! It must be something special!" And the manager says "Not really, but the other ones call it 'Maestro'" blaugh What do you do with a horn player who can't hit the notes? Give him two sticks, put him in the back, and call him a percussionist! What do you do if he can't do that? Take away one stick, put him in the front, and call him a conductor! blaugh XD I don't get it?
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Posted: Mon Sep 11, 2006 6:47 pm
PUNKCHICK805 Lestat X Alright, here it goes... So a guy walks into a pet shop that specializes in musical animals. He sees two Cockatoos, one red, one blue. So he asks the manager, "what's up with the red one?" And he says "Well, it can sing Wgner's entire Ring Cycle, and it costs $5,000." So the guy says "What about the blue one?" And the manager says "It can sing any of Mozart's lullabies, and it's only $3000." So then the guy says "Those are nice, but do you have anything else?" And the manager says, "We've got a white one in the back, and it's $20,000." So the guy says "WHOA! It must be something special!" And the manager says "Not really, but the other ones call it 'Maestro'" blaugh What do you do with a horn player who can't hit the notes? Give him two sticks, put him in the back, and call him a percussionist! What do you do if he can't do that? Take away one stick, put him in the front, and call him a conductor! blaugh XD I don't get it? how cant you get it ... its hilaripus!!! rofl
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Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 7:14 pm
Rebecca_Anne Blue_Vampire This ones a little mean if you don't have a sense of humor. Personally I love it and think it's hilarious. How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune? You shoot one of them. ROFL! So true! HAHAHAHAHA rofl
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 1:31 pm
Blue_Vampire This ones a little mean if you don't have a sense of humor. Personally I love it and think it's hilarious. How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune? You shoot one of them. That's not funny at all, it's just 100% honest, and the honesty happens to be hilarious. Props to you, my good man. Delayna
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 2:20 pm
This one's kind of mean... But funny.
There was a newly-wed couple who decided to go to the Amazon on vacation, so they hired a tour guide who knew the area well. As they were walking, they began to hear the steady beat of a drum.
"Is that bad?" the husband asked.
"No. As long as the drums keep playing, we'll be fine." the tour guide replied.
A few minutes later, they realized the drums had sped up.
"Is that bad?" the wife repeated.
Same answer.
Then, all together, the drums stopped. The wife and husband turned to look at the horror stricken face of their tour guide.
"What?" they asked. "What happens after the drums stop?"
"...Trombone solo..."
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Posted: Sun Nov 05, 2006 6:23 pm
Blue_Vampire This ones a little mean if you don't have a sense of humor. Personally I love it and think it's hilarious. How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune? You shoot one of them. LOL same with oboes. How do you tune two oboes? Shoot one of them
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:55 pm
Strawberry-Plum Blue_Vampire This ones a little mean if you don't have a sense of humor. Personally I love it and think it's hilarious. How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune? You shoot one of them. LOL same with oboes. How do you tune two oboes? Shoot one of them Omg! thats amazing. My feloow oboe player cant seem to be intune for s**t. =[ i wish i could shoot that idiot.
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 4:58 pm
Well...
idk if these are that funny but we think they are in our band
You know your a band nerd if:
hearing "16 mallet technique makes you gasp"
your friends ask you to go out and you say "sorry, i got band"
dang I had like a crapload of others... I'll think of them soon
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Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 7:04 pm
How do you know if there is a percussionist knocking at your door?
-The knock slows down...
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Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 12:14 pm
An oldie but a goodie.
Who's the most attractive member of the band?
The bari sax. It's bari saxy!
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Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 11:20 am
I have a pretty corney joke:
What do you have when the band directors are in a room with cement filled up to their neck?
answer: Not enough cement!!!
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Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:19 pm
Q:
How many trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Five, One to handle the bulb, and the other four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
Q:
How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
None, they have machines to do that now
Q:
How many clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Only one, but she'll go through a whole box of bulbs before she finds the perfect one
Q:
How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Five, One to change the bulb and four to contemplate how Kenny G. would have done it
Q:
How many Trombonists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Just one, but he'll do it too loudly
Q:
How many flutists does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Just one, but she'll sit and adjust it back and forth until its just right
Q:
How many French horn players does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignments and leaks
Q:
How many tubas does it take to change a light bulb?
A:
Five, One to change it and four to complain how high it is
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Posted: Thu Nov 30, 2006 1:22 pm
Cruelty + Humor = Good Joke.
An oboe, clarinet, and flute jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first?
Who cares? They're woodwinds.
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 3:54 pm
I Am The Milkman Cruelty + Humor = Good Joke. An oboe, clarinet, and flute jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Who cares? They're woodwinds. yeah, but what happens to the stupid brass who were standing below them?
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Posted: Sat Dec 02, 2006 4:16 pm
Q: How does a percussionist get a good parking spot?
A: He puts his drumsticks on the dashboard. Then he can park in the handicapped spots.
Q: How does that one trumpet player change the lightbulb?
A: He just holds it up and the whole universe revolves around him.
Q: How do trumpet players greet each other?
A: "Hi, I'm better than you."
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I remember at band camp. This one kid had a list of stupid things that the stereotypical trumpet player does regularly. The band director wasted a whole block of time reading off this list and having the trumpet section raise their hand for every item on the list that was true. Half of them never put their hands down.
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