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 Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 2:04 pm
Alright, here it goes...
So a guy walks into a pet shop that specializes in musical animals. He sees two Cockatoos, one red, one blue. So he asks the manager, "what's up with the red one?" And he says "Well, it can sing Wgner's entire Ring Cycle, and it costs $5,000." So the guy says "What about the blue one?" And the manager says "It can sing any of Mozart's lullabies, and it's only $3000." So then the guy says "Those are nice, but do you have anything else?" And the manager says, "We've got a white one in the back, and it's $20,000." So the guy says "WHOA! It must be something special!" And the manager says "Not really, but the other ones call it 'Maestro'" blaugh
What do you do with a horn player who can't hit the notes?
Give him two sticks, put him in the back, and call him a percussionist!
What do you do if he can't do that?
Take away one stick, put him in the front, and call him a conductor! blaugh
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Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 5:25 pm
lol..i heard those off of shirt at a band competition...
how do you stop a guitarist from playing?...put a piese of sheet music in front of them.
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Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 4:25 pm
What's the difference between a french horn section and a '67 Chevy?
You can tune a '67 Chevy!
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Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2006 10:17 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 24, 2006 8:00 pm
This ones a little mean if you don't have a sense of humor. Personally I love it and think it's hilarious.
How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune?
You shoot one of them.
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Posted: Tue Jul 25, 2006 1:03 pm
Blue_Vampire This ones a little mean if you don't have a sense of humor. Personally I love it and think it's hilarious. How do you get two piccolo players to play in tune? You shoot one of them. ROFL! So true!
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 12:08 am
I love all these jokes!! rofl
sry i don't have any you haven't heard though
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Posted: Fri Jul 28, 2006 6:52 am
heheheh rofl i got one joke but its an inside joke and noone will know what i'm talking about but... robot chicken... *starts laughing*... yea, inside joke... ninja
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Posted: Sat Aug 05, 2006 3:05 pm
whats the difference between a banjo and a vacuum? you have to turn the vacuum on for it to suck... you can substitute it with any instrument. whee
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Posted: Sun Aug 06, 2006 4:14 pm
At North Western State University there is a poster in one of the band rooms (the one across the hall from the auditorium with the organ built into the stage wall) with many musical jokes and here is one of the ones that i remember
Largo = a german beero
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Posted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 8:10 pm
I've got a pretty cheesy one from my band director ((We had like few days left of school, and he let us tell jokes in class))
What did the A flat say to the A natural before they crossed the rode?
Answer: "We better C sharp or we'll B flat" highlight to find the answer out...
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 6:20 am
A D, an F, and an A walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve minors." So the D says to the F, "Look sharp!"
There's a longer version on the Musician's Forum.
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:41 am
What do you get when you throw a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat Minor!
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:14 pm
You Might Be A Musician If...
you walk around conducting the Verdi Requiem, Dvorak Requiem, Bruckner e-minor Mass, Beethoven 7, etc., and wonder why people are looking at you funny.
you know Tchaikovsky's full name AND all its spellings.
you have played more instruments than the average person can name.
you own more in sheet music than in CDs
you can define the difference between a sonata and a concerto.
you know 101 jokes involving either violas, French horns, or percussionists.
you know any jokes about players of any other specific instruments.
your phone is unplugged for 2 hours or more a day so you can practice.
you actually cheered on the marching band in high school.
you have ever played anything by Bela Bartok.
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ayane11111111111111111111
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Posted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 11:59 pm
Lestat X What's the difference between a french horn section and a '67 Chevy? You can tune a '67 Chevy! lmao!!!!! rofl rofl rofl rofl ...the sad thing is that its true!! I play french horn...and its a b***h ta tune!!!! stressed
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