Prompt Response He felt... weird. Not... good weird... maybe not
bad weird but... definitely weird. In ways he wasn't quite sure he knew how to describe... or entirely understand. He felt...
...hm. Like someone had kind of... smudged a line somewhere, but the line was supposed to be part of him.
He supposed maybe he was just homesick. Not for a place, not for a specific person, not even his Grandmother. It was more... homesick for the way things used to be, before he'd gone and screwed up. When people looked at him and you saw them measuring his potential, not clucking their tongues at his perceived waste of it.
The first time it happened he was seething; stewing at his desk and looking at the same text book page over and over (without actually
seeing it... because damnit, you
always thought of the perfect comeback when it was hours too late for anything but 'Oh Yeah??'.
He could picture the grassy stretch of lawn, feel the knots in his shoulders and the way the tension of rage made him feel like he was slowly working toward bursting into actual flame from containing frustration and fury.
He could smell the torn grass under his sneakers, fresh and green, mixed with a prickle of sweat just overpowering the forced, artificial scent of deodorant.
The way the light broke against his classmates hair and turned dull brown into glints of red and dirty gold, the details as sharp as knives. He was even pretty sure the tree they'd stopped under was an maple, with circles of lichen dotting it's bark. Motes of dust or pollen drifting on a breeze too light or him to feel.
He could still taste the slightly-sweet cheap Marinara from lunch, lingering on the back of his taste-buds, soured by anger as he pictured exactly what he would have LIKED to do to that...
that
refrigerator shaped jerk.
"Yeah maybe you should go out for football, you're good at running from stuff I hear." He wanted to punch him. He wanted to put another bend in that once broken nose, flatten it to his face until he looked like a bulldog. Yell at him that he didn't know
anything.
He should have said... ... he should have said a lot of things.
Instead he was sitting at his desk, drowning in the little details he was surprised to remember. He didn't normally think deeply about trees. Oak, Maple, Birch, who cared, right? He didn't need to know... but he could see it, the way he could see the shirt his classmate was wearing. The faded spots from a bleach accident and the wrinkles from having been crumbled up too long. The spots jerk-face had missed shaving.
He could have drawn it, if he was any good at that.
He didn't want to see it though. He wanted to see... he didn't know. His grandmothers living room. But When he tried to imagine it... the way he so sharply imagined the details of the argument, it was like watching something go out of focus. The details slid back into softness, the smell of grass was gone and he couldn't for the life of him summon that fantastic smell of her blueberry pie, or the type of wood polish she used on the floors. The sharp details just weren't there.
Just the text book. A tedious march of black lines on white paper full of dates that felt like they were tap dancing just enough on the page to make it hard to focus on the dates and names he was supposed to be learning about.
UGH.
He buried his face in his hands and groaned. Maybe it was a good time for a break. He'd go downstairs and get a soda or something.
Yeah... yeah maybe that would help.
Ashdown Crier
Ok I might have gotten a hair carried away. Hopefully this is ok.