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That's called prejudgment, I'll simply tell you i've found myself holding a loaded gun to my skull, It took me a lot of time to stop thinking I was "Too worthless to even kill myself"

eventually I realized that I loved life, but fixated on the terrible things.... granted that's none of your business whether or not i've experienced depression.... But i digress that it is far from a disease. It's more like a high, something you get fixated on. It's hard to tell yourself your worth something when you've spent years allowing yourself to think you're worthless.




If you've dealt with it yourself, then doesn't that reinforce my statement? This wasn't trivializing, it was simply me stating something because this guild has a large group of people who bring up suicide and self-hatred.

I cured myself, because noone can change your mind but you. it is you who thinks a certain way and only you can truly alter that perception... regardless of means, just find the end in an acceptance and happiness state.
again, you and I aren't so different...... but here I am, In my apartment, in my debt, with my job that pays 8.45 an hour.... with an ROTC uniform in my closet and three history books on my table, I also have last semester's books because I wanted to keep them as trophies, and because I enjoy looking back on the interesting parts of the fields of Philosophy, Psychology and History... the math book is kinda in shambles though >.> ******** math...




It's not blame, blame is saying you caused the problem. but you must own up to the fact that you're allowing yourself to continue these feelings. it's something I had to do and it's not comfortable.

I've had night terrors from my toddler years up until I was 19, I used to feel tears in my eyes when i was alone... every time. I've felt like someone who couldn't be anything because I let things get to me... know what I did about it?

I stopped, I thought really hard about it. Feelings are something that can't be controlled, only redirected... that's what I thought, I wasn't completely wrong but I wasn't exactly right either.

Here's why, If a man steals your wallet you will feel anger.
If you find out that he is a man who was so afraid to do anything else, because he has no other option but to steal for the life of his child, your view will be different..

you're looking at things in a primarily negative way whilst you're depressed. you think of the inherent evils or repercussions of things that bring harm into your perception of reality..
you may not see the boy checking you out when he looks at you, you might just see someone staring at you and ostracizing you.
Paranoia, Night terrors, Lonliness, extreme sorrow, doubt, ignorance.. these were the symptoms of my depression. Now I know what I am and what I can be. I know that the world is what I make of it, I know that anyone who says otherwise is just looking for a bad life. even if they don't think they are.

I'm not laying blame, I'm explaining that whilst under the influence of depression there is no real constant variable except the person who is depressed, I am explaining that it is a condition but not a disease. a disease is a problem, a bad thing, a condition is simply the state of things.

you can try to bastardize me and to negate what I have seen in my life. but honestly I think i got through to you, because you were defensive. that anger can be a mechanism. when people said I had a problem i got mad, I got defensive. I learned to do something that psychology classifies as projecting.

tell me, what are you doing? are you really thinking that I've trivialized it, or are you putting more depth into something that's just heavy.

I can't really speak from anything but experience, so It's one sided in that sense...... but honestly this is what I see to be truth, it's ashamed that others can't bring to themselves their own self-fulfilment.

there's an expression someone once told me at a party when I was younger. I loved it so.


The world is coated in a heaping pile of rot and s**t, some can view it for the filth it is, and some can view the fact that life springs from this soil, and that it brings about great things.


soil on the ground is just rotted life and fecal matter... but it's where gardens grow and animals live.

that's two polar different ways to look at it, the only way I can explain it really.

Depression isn't just a state of mind. It can be caused by life changes or through mental illness, and as I said earlier mental illnesses aren't something that can be fixed with a positive outlook on life, they are chemical imbalances in the brain that can only be changed through medication. and it could take years to find the medication that works well for each individual. Stop ignoring these facts.

While your depression might be caused by life changes or are situational not everyone else's depression is caused by this. Using solely your own life experience is a very ignorant approach to something as vastly complex as depression. Not everyone grieves for the same reasons or in the same way as you. Don't assume that something that works for you is going to work for everybody else.

You seriously need more outside perspective if you expect to hold even a grain of salt worth of perspective than what you are now.

You don't seem to understand the difference between the feeling of sadness and clinical depression.
There is a huge difference between feeling sad and low and clinical depression. I can change my sadness, depression isn't a matter of will.

It isn't my business but guess what, you decided to share. Not like I asked.

It is a disease. Professionals in the medical field agree. What kind of research have you done to prove it isn't? None? What kind of medical professional are you? You aren't. Are you a doctor? No. So what makes you an expert in the field? Nothing. You don't think it's a disease? That's fine. Think what you want. I'd suggest though that you keep that thought to yourself because not only are you going to look foolish when you say that, you're going to piss people off. Saying depression isn't a disease is like saying gravity doesn't exist. Saying so is extremely ignorant.



If you cured yourself then guess what, bud, you didn't have depression. Hate to burst your little bubble there. You were feeling sad. You don't have any clue what real depression is because it sounds like you've not really experienced it. I personally don't care for how you're judging those that have felt it and the associated thoughts they (and I) have had.



Oh but we are. You see, I was referring to a friend that tends to be hopeless most of the time. I on the other hand am finished with school without student loans thanks to the hard work of my parents. But it seems ironic that you can't see how hard it is to advance in life since you're stuck. Though I don't get why you're rambling about subjects in school. Trying to change the topic from what you've said? That's what it seems like to me.

Oh, and another thing that makes us different is I am a health care professional. So when I say that depression isn't a state of mind but a disease, I have a degree and university to back me up. What do you have backing you up? Your own little opinions and no degree to back you up? Right. I win. Depression being a disease is based in fact, not opinion. The sooner you realize that, the better it'll be if you continue to post in this thread.



See, you're blaming me for not moving past my problems. It isn't like I'm thinking, hey, I'm going to be sad and s**t because horrible things happened to me. I suffer from a form of post traumatic stress disorder. It isn't as if I can say I'm going to be all happy and sunshine and flowers and that's the end of it. You are trivializing mental illness which is in turn putting blame on those that suffer from some sickness. And frankly that's ******** rude.



Oh boy. Night terrors. Man it must suck to be you. Try being abused as a child then raped as a young adult and see what that does to you, kid. It isn't something I can tell myself that hey, I'm just going to be done with it.



Actually, it won't be different. If that's the case the d**k that's stealing my wallet can get some government assistance. What if he steals my wallet with the last of my money that I need to feed MY child? Eh? Why should I give a damn about his life if he doesn't give a damn about mine? and again, nice try at changing the subject.



As I've said before, I don't think you're actually suffering from depression.



No? Not blaming me? You are telling me that I can be happy and move on from my past quite easily. And the fact that I've not moved on means something is wrong with me. Isn't that what you're saying? That perhaps I'm not trying hard enough or I'm lazy? But hey, to you depression isn't a real disease.



Got through to me? I'm angry because you've hit on a pet peeve of mine, ignorance. To claim depression isn't a disease is just one of the dumbest things I've heard in a long time (and that's AFTER reading about Cain saying being gay is a choice and Bachmann saying Iraq should pay the USA back after the USA invaded them). So congrats.

I'm not mad at you. I just hope that younger people that know less than you don't actually read what you have to say. They may need help and you're telling them they're not sick. When someone is sick, it needs to be taken care of before it gets worse.

Yes, I really do feel like you've trivialized my experiences and sufferings because I am not like you. Problem is you don't seem to realize that I and others have been through experiences that make your little night terrors look like a walk in the park.

You're just another kid that's taken a psych 101 class and thinks they're an expert. That kind of thinking only reinforces how ignorant you really are. Claim to be an expert on depression after you've become a doctor. Doing so now is making you look foolish. Especially since you're spouting off incorrect information.

Lastly, I think you owe an apology to everyone that you've insulted and trivialized.

i considered suicide once. but that was ages ago. when i was still in denial about who i was, back when i gave a crap what my parenmts wanted, back when i gave a crap what people thought and said......so when i was like 9. lol nearly half my life ago.

i still do now, but it's more of a 'what if' thing. i've grown up since then, and figured out who matters and what matters. and decided that suicide is more of a punishment to the people left alive and an act of cowardice and surrender by whoever died. so i'll just use my adapted on and off switches to form to whatever is needed and trudge through life. hopefully finding a way to get better credit since there's morons in maryland who called collections twice on a 14 yr old =_=

1. Changing your hair or eye color using "just willpower" is literally impossible.You can't change genetic structure with your mind. hair and eye color is genetically passed down and to alter your DNA with your mind is nothing short of make believe.

2. What you're explaining is similar to the placebo effective, and although true in some cases, Is not true for everyone. There is extensive proof (including myself) that children at young ages before ever setting foot into a psychiatrists office show signs of their disorder, including manias and depressions. Again, bipolar disorder is genetically passed down and something embedded in your genetic line, and cannot be altered by sheer willpower.

3. No matter where you go in america people are getting drained of their money, but in this case it doesn't discredit the work that the medication is doing. someone with schizophrenia needs that medication because no amount of sheer willpower is going to stabilize their genetics. As I said before, when they're not on medication their symptoms will return, no matter how hard they try to force the voices away. Medication can't cure everything because we haven't made those kinds of advancements in science yet. simply put. We're still exploring the issues with chemical imbalanced disorders, and it's going to take some time before we come up with anything that advanced.

Honestly? I believe that you think its possible because you were manipulated into believing so and because It's exiting and interesting to think that people have those kinds of mental capabilities it makes you all the more inclined to believe it, but its not real. Yes you probably saw someone change their hair color, but probably because the winter or the summer came and their hair naturally changed over time, and they probably said they were changing it with willpower. And their eyes probably changed because of the reflection of the clothes they're wearing or because the color happened to shift slightly while you were watching them. There are realistic and legitimate reasons for what you witnessed or heard, but in that list, mental brain power isn't one of them.

Don't believe everything you hear.I bet you're young aren't you?

To both of you, trust me, it lasted 18 years, it never wained and i thought it was a constant in my life,

I had depression, My fifth psychologist actually told me that it wouldn't be diagnosed simply because he saw in me that I was stubborn enough to overcome it and that I could actually do it on my own... he also said I should be medicated for a period of time but I declined as my family is against medication.

First off I was told i needed medication, but I declined.

Second off I used many things to help rewire myself, techniques that have since been "Discredited"


as to all you others, I'll respond tomorrow night in a lengthy post, I only have about ten minutes between class, getting home, and getting ready for work which goes until 11

so i'll talk to you all tomorrow night, simply because I do have a lot to say