A child needs a mother...

[Sin Error]

So often here where I live I hear and read people commenting on gays having a child how they need a mother. here are some of comments i've read:

-"Homosexuals should just accept that they can't have kids, they don't need to ruin a child's future just beacuse they want to be parents, that is just being selfish."

-"A child needs a mother's love, beacuse mother's love is unique and no male figure can match that."

Those are of the comments that have been personally bothering me, and honestly they've put my brain on a run and my heart a little sad these past few days. so as LGBT peeps I wanna know your thoughts on this, is a mother's love that special that it cannot be match by a male figure?

please post your age.  

[Buttery Biscuit Face]

I think these people are (excuse the vulgarity) ignorant ********. Just because someone is male doesn't mean they can't love someone as much/ give someone as much love as a mother can. It's all just stupid. I feel stupid just having to mention that gonk  

[cvbkfgbkjmgbcj]

This same sort of ******** reasoning is the same as why the mother always gets the kids in custody battles. Yes, there are certain hormone releases, relationships that don't necessarily occur with fathers, but be realistic! Mothers are capable as being just as messed up as other people. And what, suddenly single parent families with only a father are incapable of proper functioning and will ruin the children's futures? Bullshit. So many people can tell you that their fathers were equally or more loving than their mothers.  

[PeachPunk]

It's sad, but true: Not every mother loves her children as much as the next woman. Being a mother does not automatically mean you will treat your children right. In fact, some children with two gay fathers were adopted because their own biological mother was neglectful. And also, every child knows at least one woman who can fill the void of a "mother figure". Just because she may not be your mother (or maybe she is your biological mother but you don't see her as much because you are being raised by your fathers) doesn't mean she can't love you the same way a "real" mother could (or if she were the one raising you).

So now here's the part where I have to post my age for some reason. I am 16.  

[Lady Kayura]

That kind of mentality should offend not only gay fathers but all fathers. A person's love is special. How I may love my future children will be different than their future father and everyone else. If I married a woman and had kids, my love would be different than my wife's.

And if homosexuals should accept they can't have kids, does that mean anyone that is infertile should accept they can't have kids too?

29.  

[Blackrose_Knight]

A child needs good adult role models. These role models come in many flavors. Mom, Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, Aunty, Uncle, Teachers, Coaches, Music Instructors.

Gender does not matter.  

[BSPBleach]

I can kinda see where they may be stretching nformation from......but honestly, that stuff only applies to a child's birth mother. so the argument would be against anyone who adopted, or any father trying to raise kids alone.

generally, as far as parenting goes, as long as the parent's do their best and love their kids, the kids will be just as fine as having their birth mother. if a kid really feels (conciously or not) like they're missing something, they find that something in relatives or friends.

a father is capable of doing whatever a mother can (except breast feeding of course....) i've read of psychology of what mothers give to a child, and what fathers give to a child, but those are all based off generalizations and aren't neccassarily true.
an example would be that mother's give a child understanding and teach them kindness where a father teaches them strength and character (or something along those lines......) of course this isn't really true....but if it was and a child had two fathers, two mothers, or just one of either, it wouldn't ruin the child. they find whateevr is missing in say a grandfather or grandmother, and move on. it's totally fine, and it's quite sad that people are so unlearned as to think a child's success in life is determined by their parents.

though i'm glad their parents were so perfect to them that they actually believe that s**t. -ahem- pardon the mini rage there.

oh yeah, and i'm 16.  

[Commonsense of BlindEyes]

I can see possibly where they get their information from, but really there's nothing behind it.

From my own experience and people I know experiences, a mother can be just as messed up and a failure as a parent, as a father can be. My mother, for example, is one of the most manipulative, self-centered, and temper prone person that I have ever known. My father on the other hand is even-temper, out going, and honest. My mother will get mad if you try to talk to her about anything serious because she is always busy. My father will let you talk to him even just about your day, even if he is working.

Going into psychology, more than likely I think that one of the two would end up fulfilling the 'mother role' of parenting. It just seems like things fall into place like that. I can see maybe a girl child being a bit awkward around puberty with two male parents, but the opposite of that could be said too. I don't think they would be messed up by that, and everyone, even straight couples raising children, mess up their children somehow. No one is perfect, and no parent raises a child perfectly.

I'm 18.  

[Taeryyn]

Twee Vaders sums up how I feel about the question.

It's from a Dutch kid's show where (from what I gather) kids sing about different issues. This one's performed by a boy named Terrence, who has two fathers.

The lyrics (translated):
We live in a terrace house, we have nice stuff at home,
We live there quite ok with three of us together.
Bas works for the newspaper, and Diederick is laboratorian,
They adopted me when I was one year old.
I'm still the only child, but that's okay with me.
That way I get all the attention and love from those two.
Bas brings me to the school, with Diederik I play violin,
And with the three of us we watch soaps on the TV.

(Chorus)
I have two fathers, two real fathers.
Sometimes cool and sometimes strict,
but it's going great with us.
I have two fathers, two real fathers.
Who, if they have to, can both be my mother.

When I have to go to bed, Diederik checks my homework.
And Bas does the dishes, or is doing laundry.
And if I'm ill or have a fever, then there's nobody I know
who can be so caring as Diederik or Bas.

(Chorus)

Sometimes I get bullied at school,
Of course it's not nice.
"Your parents, they are homo!"
They find it strange.
Then I just shrug my shoulders,
"So what? I'm their son!"
It's not ordinary, but for me it's quite okay.

(Chorus)

In my own experience, I've never really seen anything that would make me believe that having a mother and a father is automatically better than any other arrangement. It all depends on the individuals who are raising the child, regardless of whether they are male or female (or fit somewhere else).  

[Sin Error]

It has cheered me up to see all the positive and strong points posted by you guys, thanks! smile  

[Sin Error]

Taeryyn

Twee Vaders sums up how I feel about the question.

It's from a Dutch kid's show where (from what I gather) kids sing about different issues. This one's performed by a boy named Terrence, who has two fathers.

The lyrics (translated):
We live in a terrace house, we have nice stuff at home,
We live there quite ok with three of us together.
Bas works for the newspaper, and Diederick is laboratorian,
They adopted me when I was one year old.
I'm still the only child, but that's okay with me.
That way I get all the attention and love from those two.
Bas brings me to the school, with Diederik I play violin,
And with the three of us we watch soaps on the TV.

(Chorus)
I have two fathers, two real fathers.
Sometimes cool and sometimes strict,
but it's going great with us.
I have two fathers, two real fathers.
Who, if they have to, can both be my mother.

When I have to go to bed, Diederik checks my homework.
And Bas does the dishes, or is doing laundry.
And if I'm ill or have a fever, then there's nobody I know
who can be so caring as Diederik or Bas.

(Chorus)

Sometimes I get bullied at school,
Of course it's not nice.
"Your parents, they are homo!"
They find it strange.
Then I just shrug my shoulders,
"So what? I'm their son!"
It's not ordinary, but for me it's quite okay.

(Chorus)

In my own experience, I've never really seen anything that would make me believe that having a mother and a father is automatically better than any other arrangement. It all depends on the individuals who are raising the child, regardless of whether they are male or female (or fit somewhere else).

I saw this video liek a year ago and it touched my heart.  

[ForeverDreamWithinADream]

I am not going to post my age as I feel that it isn't need and don't give that out unless I have to.

I feel that all a child need is good parents or parent is they are a single parent as raising child takes a lot of time, money, patience, etc....doesn't matter if it man, woman, two men, two women, etc....as long as a child is well cared for and loved.

They can have a mom, but that doesn't necessarily mean she would be a good parent or could care for them nor does it mean that men can't be good parents. There are some wonderful fathers out there. Really depends on the individuals and how they raise the child or children, not their gender.

This is coming from personal experience. My mom doesn't know how to care for anyone can often say mean things, etc....while my dad is patient and helped me when I needed it. My parents are similar to what Commonsense of BlindEyes describe about their parents. Though my mom didn't get mad because she was busy, she just doesn't like hearing or dealing with anything serious while my dad would not only listen but would have long discussions, even when busy.  

[Shanna66]

people like that are not only insulting gay parents but also single parents. my mother died when my sister was 10 and i was 15, we turned out ine and still had alot of female influence in our lives thanks to our aunts and our friends' mothers

the only reason i get upset about losing her still is because i miss my mother, it has nothing to do with the fact that i dont have one. if i just never met her and never had a mother i doubt i would care.

bra shopping with your father is not the end of the world and did not ruin mine or my sister's lives. also talking about sex with our father is not that akward, he still answers questions and still helped us get on birth control when we wanted to start  

[Heartless_requiem]

yes a mothers love is truly fantastic
>.> -is staring at one of my friends ultra-religious/abusive mother who is now in jail-

just thought i should say that folks ^^  

[shares_stomach_acid]

In my view the "mother's love" is actually the love of whatever parent is there more, or more nurturing. It used to primarily be mothers, thus why it's called a "Mothers love." I've seen tons of families where the fathers love and influence was way more important then the mothers. Like my cousin who got dumped with her dad because her mom wanted to go become a "star." Also, it seems like to me at least, gay parents are often 100x better then a lot of straight parents i know. Most likely because unlike a LOT of straight parents, they wanted there kids. They had everything planned before hand, and never once considered there kids an accident. They also have kids, when there ready for them. *shrugs* plus, some people are maternal/paternal and some aren't. My sister finds kids disgusting, she won't hold them and never wants them. On the other hand one of my good friends is always cooing over little kids and can't wait to be a father. Being a good parent has nothing to do with orientation or gender. It has to do with love, understand, and the ability to put another human before yourself.