Top Hats and Martinis: Closed until the end of GGW

[The Solarised Night]

Rotsab M. Hyolf

The Solarised Night

Rotsab M. Hyolf

Haha, well, I'm glad you didn't want to kill me for it!

I wasn't familiar with the meme/intentionally referencing it. I think I've probably heard it used once or twice, though.

Info

Haha, yeah, I looked it up.

Rotsab, I have found my winner. My comments are scattered above (edit) and below

[The Solarised Night]

Silly Rotsab, "teared" is not a word. It is tore.

[The Solarised Night]

Hmm, some of the dialogue between the brothers at the end starts to get a little strange. I'd work on that since it was a little confusing.

[The Solarised Night]

Love the story, but not so keen on the end. I feel like you were trying to cram too much in at once.

Well there we have it, I shall announce the winners.

[Rotsab M. Hyolf]

The Solarised Night

Oh man, you have no idea how much my tail is wagging. I'm so glad you like it! That's... wow, thanks so much. <3

I'll have to keep an eye out for commas in the future! Fragments and tenses, too. Will I look like an idiot if I admit I'm not sure what a semi-overt narrator means? xD

I am so embaressed about 'teared'. You're right, and I'm not sure how I missed that. Tore would have sounded cooler, too!

I'm sorry about the dialogue being confusing. I wasn't sure how to make it seem blind-siding but at the same time justified. I wasn't sure how to walk the line of 'totally self-righteous but crazy' for Kifo with so little focus on him. I'll watch for that more carefully in my future stuff. 3nodding

Sorry about the ending, too! Haha, it was genuinely a case of; "Argh this is halfway down the tenth page can I really play with it anymore?" But, excuses excuses. Thank you so much for your comments and reading the piece.

[The Solarised Night]

Rotsab M. Hyolf

The Solarised Night

Oh man, you have no idea how much my tail is wagging. I'm so glad you like it! That's... wow, thanks so much. <3

I'll have to keep an eye out for commas in the future! Fragments and tenses, too. Will I look like an idiot if I admit I'm not sure what a semi-overt narrator means? xD

I am so embaressed about 'teared'. You're right, and I'm not sure how I missed that. Tore would have sounded cooler, too!

I'm sorry about the dialogue being confusing. I wasn't sure how to make it seem blind-siding but at the same time justified. I wasn't sure how to walk the line of 'totally self-righteous but crazy' for Kifo with so little focus on him. I'll watch for that more carefully in my future stuff. 3nodding

Sorry about the ending, too! Haha, it was genuinely a case of; "Argh this is halfway down the tenth page can I really play with it anymore?" But, excuses excuses. Thank you so much for your comments and reading the piece.

lol I understand that the end was a little rushed because it was already such a long piece. That would make a fine novel.

Well a narrator can be covert (speaks in third person from a distance, sort of omni-present) or they can be overt by having their own opinions/ commentary of the action. I find overt narrators fascinating because they can add that extra interactive layer to the text. Yours wasn't extremely overt, but he did slip in his/her opinions here and there.

So I am awarding you first place.

I am having difficulty chosing 2nd and 3rd though. There are 3 that are somewhat tied.

[Rotsab M. Hyolf]

The Solarised Night

lol I understand that the end was a little rushed because it was already such a long piece. That would make a fine novel.

Well a narrator can be covert (speaks in third person from a distance, sort of omni-present) or they can be overt by having their own opinions/ commentary of the action. I find overt narrators fascinating because they can add that extra interactive layer to the text. Yours wasn't extremely overt, but he did slip in his/her opinions here and there.

So I am awarding you first place.

I am having difficulty chosing 2nd and 3rd though. There are 3 that are somewhat tied.

Aww, thanks! whee

Ahh, that makes sense. Yeah, I can see how the overt narrator would be more interesting! The covert might be good for more removed pieces, I guess?

heart heart heart

I can't say thank you enough!!!

As for the three that are semi-tied; I don't know what to say. Good luck? Haha. Congratulations to all three of them, if they are that close!

[The Solarised Night]

Well that took quite a bit longer than expected but I have finally read and critiqued everyone. Thought you should know that the word file was between 35,000 and 40,000 words by the time I finished with critiques.

Generally, everyone seemed to make the same mistakes (just with varying degrees). Just as a reminder to everyone, here are the main things that were a problem in nearly every piece

1) Following the prompt
2) Fragmentation of sentences
3) Changing from past to present tense
4) plot leaps or unexplained gaps
5) inadequate characterisation
6) misuse of punctuation such as commas, semi-colons, dashes, and especially ellipses

I can see that most of you worked very hard, despite these errors that occured across the board. It was hard to choose, but here are the winners

1st place: Rostab

Rotsab M. Hyolf

Congratulations! You win 100k

2nd place: Uvula

Hardcore Uvula

Congratulations! You win 75k

3rd place: Yutora

Yutora

Congratulations! You win 25k

I am looking forward to your entries for the April Horror and Morbid prompt!

[Hardcore Uvula]

The Solarised Night

^^ Thank you.

[The Solarised Night]

Hardcore Uvula

The Solarised Night

^^ Thank you.

Rotsab is lucky his piece was so thrilling. If it were even slightly less entertaining, I think I would have given up. His piece was roughly 20,000 words long burning_eyes

It was a hard choice.

[KuroHime_07]

The Solarised Night

KuroHime_07

i'm confused can I still join???

You can join the april Horror/ Morbid prompt. I am still judging last month's comp 3nodding

Okay my question is can I Fairy folk, demons, and other fantastical character to bring my story to life and to my liking?
If not then I guess I write more human being related but I just love to throw in a talking cat or something out of the normal when I can

[Atrophine Lacrimae]

So, just to get this straight. Has April started yet? BEcause I have a poem that I was hoping would be able to be entered smile Don't want to pass the chance to have it read and critiqued after all! smile

[Yutora]

Oh wow! That was rather unexpected o___o
No really, I wasn't even thinking I'd win anything, lol.

Congratulations guys. c:

[The Solarised Night]

KuroHime_07

The Solarised Night

KuroHime_07

i'm confused can I still join???

You can join the april Horror/ Morbid prompt. I am still judging last month's comp 3nodding

Okay my question is can I Fairy folk, demons, and other fantastical character to bring my story to life and to my liking?
If not then I guess I write more human being related but I just love to throw in a talking cat or something out of the normal when I can

The prompt is horror and morbid. What you are describing is fantasy. Last month's comp was fantasy. Feel free to include fantasy elements, but you are not obliged to. You only need to write something gorey

[The Solarised Night]

XxSapphiricxAcidxX

So, just to get this straight. Has April started yet? BEcause I have a poem that I was hoping would be able to be entered smile Don't want to pass the chance to have it read and critiqued after all! smile

April comp started at the begining of the month. You were allowed to enter 12 days ago. 3nodding