Dirty Little Secrets [Announcement 11/8/2023| Reminder 2024]

Before I go, I've got to know:

Is that what you mean to say?	29.2%	[ 811 ]
Before I rise to my defense,	5.0%	[ 138 ]
Before I speak in hurt or fear,	5.5%	[ 152 ]
Before I build that wall of words,	4.2%	[ 117 ]
Tell me: did I really hear?	10.1%	[ 280 ]
Words are windows, or they're walls,	9.7%	[ 270 ]
They sentence us, or set us free.	6.1%	[ 169 ]
When I speak and when I hear,	3.0%	[ 82 ]
Let the love light shine through me.	27.3%	[ 759 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2778 ]

[no scheisse]

SCARLET GOSPELS

strawberriimiik

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      i don't know who i am anymore
      
      
      
    
    
    
  
  
  

[cr0wchild]

I still have all these unfinished art pieces on my laptop. The outfit refs, ship art, screenshot edits, AU refs... And I'm probably never going to finish them. I have zero desire to work on any of it. There's no point anyway.

I know it shouldn't matter, I should just be creating for myself. But the lack of interest is depressing. So I have no desire to do anything.

[no scheisse]

you have been angry and yelling about absolutely NOTHING important, all day. and giving me panic attack after panic attack over doing very little minuscule ******** things perfectly or not. and trying to control s**t i cant control for you.

just shut the ******** up already. shut up. be happy about SOMETHING. dear god, just please stop treating everything like it's the end of the world, i cannot ******** take it anymore. its turning on my fight or flight and i cannot relax.

[no scheisse]

tomorrow is mother's day. shes already angry and expressed she's upset i didnt have enough to buy her a huge thing of flowers.

i dont have money after already getting her a mother's day gift....

[no scheisse]

and shes just putting it all on me, saying "E doesnt remember i exist, J doesnt care, nobody cares" and i am working and trying my a** off. but nothing is ever good enough. i wonder why they dont try anymore. :/ it would be nice if they did try AT ALL just because, like...why the ******** not, why am I the only mf who tries anymore? but i dont think they even know what to say anymore either.

nor do i. because i never feel like i do enough.

you pretty much want to crawl inside my skin and stay there and i cant keep giving that to you. you need to just get the ******** away from me...i feel sick.

[no scheisse]

i shouldnt have to listen to you whine and scream all day. i dont know how you find the energy and..terribleness, to keep it up. all day. how does one keep whining all day? thats miserable as ********. its not normal. get over it already. just suffer in silence like the rest of us and dont blame literally everyone else for s**t that we cant change FOR you. just DEAL with life, for once, without throwing a fit. i cant ******** hear it anymore.

nobody should have to hear this. its torture. its audible torture and i cant get away from it because she screams SO SO loud. so loud.

[rafe adler]

i'm finally saving my pictures to my computer and... looking at them just makes me feel like i didn't do enough?

i was still holding myself back. i took it too easy.

i should've done more.

[SophieSuffocate]

"All of these responsibilities that society has made up just to keep us running around in a rat race is driving me insane. It feels damn near impossible functioning enough to survive and go to work. Now I got all this other bullshit to worry about? ******** me I guess."

"But I don't have time to wallow in self pity and sorrow. Got s**t to do. I refuse to fall down again. I refuse to let life kick me in the gut. I refuse to repeat my past. Don't over think it, just ******** DO IT."

"The only person in control of my life is me and I gotta stop letting my mental illness take things over. Anxiety isn't real. Depression can be side stepped. That little voice in the back of my mind is just trauma. It has no power over me or who I am. I've done enough work on myself to know how to handle all of that. It's time to turn my mind off, disassociate, and go into auto pilot. That's what everyone else does and it seems to work for them right?"

"******** it, we ball~"

[Gothor Salvator]

I entered a warzone but I'm gonna keep fighting tooth and nail. I'm gonna stick by her no matter what. I promised that back then and I'm keeping it now. I've experienced it before being in her position, and I WILL NOT let her think she's alone in this.

[erratic animosity]

as much as my childhood actually kinda sucked there was some moments i wish i could relive and appreciate more.
idk what to do with myself most days anymore
yeah i work full time but i do technically have time to get into hobbies and stuff
and yet, i can't bring myself to. i feel awful that people buy me things for crafts/art and i haven't done anything at all yet. i want to, but i'm also...afraid? because i know it will suck at first and for some reason i won't allow myself to just be.

[c-c-crying]

no scheisse

SCARLET GOSPELS

strawberriimiik

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  • 
    
    • 
      i don't know who i am anymore
      
      
      
    
    
    
  
  
  

[Misanthropic Majesty]

I figured out why I've been in one mood and so fixated on something that doesn't matter.
Now I just hope I feel better tomorrow and can get caught up on a week's worth of s**t I wanted to do.