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It's easy for you to hurt me but i never recover from that hurt if you want to know.
I can still talk but it won't change if you still like doing that... again & again...
I still can accept apologizes but like a broken glass, it will never same between you and me.

I am sorry for my habit but it's been long time i try going to cure since young.
But sadly turn to be too hurt to forgive, i always says " why did you do that on me?"
became my habit until now when nights comes, I will cry silently. no one know i really cry.

Later I can talk but sadly no longer same. I always try but never work.
seems i cannot forgive you.

but one things i can learn from there, I still can talk because I do not longer want to fight against your dumb or your genius brain.

since we are human need to socialize with others, I understand something or maybe nothing I achieve.

I can bear pain as long as you honest tell me what's going on. I don't care about your words as long as it's not attacking me. I receive advise although you says rough on me but try to make me down, make me dumbfounded, start fire me...
Okay, you will going to says it again?

Note : Native language added.
"Sorry coeg, klo mau cari standarisasi orang yg kamu mau jangan nyari saya"
"nyari saya buat apa? kagak jelas, mau ini itu, bisanya nyakitin orang. ga takut dosa ya? kamu ga percaya kalo neraka ada? ato selama ini kamu pikir kalo kamu bilang Tuhan saya mohon maaf nantinya kamu masuk surga?"
"klo gitu orang bunuh orang terus pas mikir mau tobat tinggal bilang Tuhan saya minta maaf, terus kamu matinya masuk surga??"
"dari 262 juta jiwa yang tinggal di negara saya, cari sono yg kamu mau!"
"orang impor kek, orang lokal kek, mau sama sesama jenis, silahkan, monggo~"
"aku mah rapopo di sakitin, tapi bener2 ga bisa maafin kamu. sampai kamu berubah, saya bisa aja berubah pikiran kok."
"yang penting jangan pernah nyakitin orang."
"kamu bisa kualat loh.. cuma kamu belum kena aja..ada waktunya kok kapan itu datang ke kamu."
"tapi satu yang pasti, saya maafin kamu & doain hal yang baik untuk kamu & harap kamu jangan kenapa-kenapa disana, tapi kamu mesti pergi dari hadapan saya karena jujur aja saya males liat kamu & bisa-bisa berantem lagi."
"dulu memang saya suka nyumpahin orang yang jahatin saya, tapi sekarang, lebih baik ga pernah deket-deket sama sumber masalah."
"labrak juga percuma. nambah dosa saya, mulut jadi kotor habis ngomong yang enggak-enggak.. di mata orang juga jadi jijik."
"bukannya takut... tapi saya pernah berbuat lebih sadis dari apa yang sekarang saya perbuat ke orang."
"sekarang ini sedang belajar sabar menghadapi cobaan dengan kepala dingin."

Okay, sorry for adding native inside but seriously it's better you save your apologizes. It's no use when you start lie on me, if caught yours, what will you do?
I can accept sorry but.. It will make me cry for long time before I start to hate you.
If you dare to do that, you have to give responsibility on me! I need honest explain before I going to hate you!

For real, I will start to forgive but start to make distance on you until i recover from hurt you made.

Note for next year : slowly start to learn forgive people. my habit hate people cause small mistaken need to be fix.
I start to put small believe on something and start to be more more picky when put people on the list & dare to remove & forget that person!