to be honest, i try my best to work with my heart but what you did actually makes me look like throw away...
I try to be honest & do not understand why people against me just because they get very jealous.
I have to say, I am happy you praise me but...
am i decoy for one of your plan?

all your act & when you ask me... I talk to myself I am stupid because believe on you?
no.. seriously, i do not understand. i know you are not. cause what you did to me actually very gentle...
but why all of this happen?

I think being kind is wrong. really..
especially person around you are evil & you also believe on what they say.
seriously, I am crying.. cause i feel too down.

I afraid I will get corrupted mind.
(takes deep breath.. and some moment to cry)

and i am thinking again by how you try to make me looks like accept your second chance to let me in to your place although i ask for quit so badly... but sadly i cannot & to be honest i am not crazy but goes insane..

i want to put this mark on diary & to be honest i learn the truth behind this humiliation.
you drive me into your plot, makes everyone on office hates me (probably by this way i cannot goes far...), you want me to obey all your order, & in front of people you insult me.. but after all ruckus ends, you call me again for another plot.

to be honest... i am scary. seriously, i wonder if i will get mental sick in few years later & goes to mental therapy LOL.
i do not know again which right or wrong.

but if i want to follow this plot till end, what to do is throw away my heart. so i cannot feel hurt & let my logic become first & doing bad to survive.
my weakness is lie. so what to do is keep lie to people or backfire people.
i wonder if goes to this path, can i be saved?
not sure... i think if i keep work with this person i will keep tell lie more & more.

just because my dear people too rely on this person & i become slave?
what i do believe about loves.. all is lie. my last purpose in my life is i want to makes people happy & if these way is what my dear person believe to make me happy.... is lost all my pride in the end.. is that mean i see reality?

i wonder if i right now goes into dirty politics tactics?