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just watch me.
sooooo much food over tour.

Put on a new pair of jeans today. Didn't try them on in-store, because I have a pair exactly like them already.

They were tighter than my other pair.

cue the "Leave me alone to die" part of my day..... seriously, the whole morning I was just in a fog, wanting to sit in a dark corner and sulk.

on the plus, I have been vegetating for the past two hours in the dorm room because my last class of the day was cancelled.

I'm ridiculously excited for spring. and for the snow to be gone. so I can run outside, and start biking again.

Went on my first-ever negative spree today online. Usually I look up inspirational photos to get me motivated to keep on keepin' on, and i like finding blogs that give pointers/running advice. But today I stumbled across something that was designed by a skinny girl, and for me, what she was posting is not achievable. A dream, if you will. A sick, twisted, all-i-see-is-flat,-toned-abs-and-hints-of-undereating dream. Looking at those made me sick to my stomach, and ended up making me confused about my own body.

She would post s**t like oh you can't ever compare your progress to anyone else's.... WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPLAIN WHY THE REST OF YOUR SITE IS DEDICATED TO PICTURES OF OTHER GIRLS?

And now I just feel like crap after looking at those pictures. I have a little more time, I'm tempted to find something better than that.

... this all started this morning. i was standing topless in the bathroom doing some experiment involving my broke-out jawline and toothpaste (yet still managed to get toothpaste slathered all over my pj shirt... *sigh*), and I saw, as I often do, places where the fat isn't so packed on. Then I'd just kinda look at the rest of the picture, and imagine the rest of it that way.

I could see the skinny girl in there. I've never met her before, but I will by next year.

What will she be like? She looks like she'd be kind of pretty... Will she have confidence in her own body? How will that be reflected in her personality? What will she wear? What will she like to eat, like to do?

She looks like someone I could get to know.





 
 
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