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just watch me.
Guys, I remembered the password to this website.

Miracles do exist!

Lots has happened since Nashville. Crazy to look back at all of this now and see everything.

How I've changed.

Ok. So since Nashville:

The semester after that (Spring 2014) was absolute hell. I picked up my Pizza Ranch job again, along with working at the radio station and a ton of little extracurriculars. I was lucky to get 5 hours of sleep a night the whole semester.

Ended up doing an awesome events internship in Sioux Falls that summer, found a place to live in a house owned by an Augie professor. Worked 70 hours a week for a while at 3 jobs (SF PR, Dressbarn, and my internship), dropped the PR and had a lovely summer wandering the bike trails in my free time. A big part of my internship was being completely in charge of this Moonlight Movie thing, where we put on free outdoor movies every Saturday night at a local park. So I was the one setting things up, my nerves being frayed because of possible weather issues and tech issues every. single. week. Gah.

Also got a crush on a guy working at a bakery across the hall from my internship; I ended up giving him my number and we had a good 6-month fling from then until now.

Hanging out at his place was a blessed escape from Fall 2014 semester. I had a super easy courseload (still 19-some credits, but a lot of it was self-guided and senior-ish research projects that I did in bulk) and lots of free time, so I tried to do a lot of fun things with my roommates (MEMORIES!) and spent some weekends at his place. Didn't go back to Pizza Ranch that semester, and also ended up not having to accompany anyone... at Dordt. I did, actually, spend a LOT of time in Sioux Falls to accompany my sister's vocal lessons at Augie, then usually would spend that evening with the boy haha.

In between I my little red car was also totaled in November by an old lady who pulled out of an intersection without looking, and t-boned me as I was driving back to college after a weekend home. I also picked up mono in the early part of December, which made the final few weeks of school & finals absolute hell.

And after that, the end of college.

December 18, 2014, I moved out of Dordt for good, and also had my last day at the radio station, two days short of my 3-year anniversary being on-air.

Shortly after New Years I ended up getting a $10,000 loan from my aunt to buy a new car, so I have a Chevy Equinox now. :] Great for road trips!

Then I spent the next two months cleaning the house like crazy, applying to crazy tons of jobs (one night I applied to 20), and alternating between home and running away for a week and a half at a time to Sioux Falls and Dordt.

And a couple road trips as well. One to Milwaukee for a job interview (which ended up being a scam; glad I realized it before accepting the job!), and the other to Michigan to see a friend from Dordt who had just moved back home there.

Then on February 18 I drove up to Fargo for a job interview, and had a job offer in my email inbox an hour later. I accepted, and am now in the process of moving.

Tomorrow (Friday the 13th haha) I move all of my stuff from home to my new apartment in Moorhead (Fargo's sister town). I start at Radio FM Media as an administrative/sales assistant the following Monday, the 16th. Two days short of 3 months from my college graduation. :]

Then the following weekend I'm driving 5 hours down to Dordt to get the rest of my kitchen stuff (I basically own everything in their kitchen, so I figured as long as I wasn't using it at home they could use it at the apartment), and my parents are coming with a futon and whatever other furniture from home I think i need.

Then I'll be officially moved in and settled.

Looking at the rest of the year, I have a couple weddings to go to (one of which in Pennsylvania I'm super excited for!!), lots of events to go to, and just general adventures and getting settled in a new place for longer than 4 months.

Lots of tears have been shed already as I prepare for this new chapter; I know I'm going to be a hot mess the entire drive up to Fargo tomorrow.

Because it means the end.

The end of the boy, the end of all I've known thus far.

It also means a whole new beginning. New friends, new experiences, new job, new place to live... Everything. And there is no end date on this, unlike college. I have no idea how long I'll be in this town, how long I'll be doing this job, what my life will look like between now and eternity. This is the end of the "growing up" chapter, and the beginning of the "new me" chapter, I guess.

I didn't cry when I left for college. I think I've more than made up for it with all the meltdowns I've had for this move haha.

So I guess we'll see. I'm not the same as I used to be, but I don't quite know who I am yet.

So the search is on. To find myself, find out who I am, what I want, and what my passions are.

I now have time and a quiet place to myself to do that. I'm excited. Terrified.

Absolutely ready.

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