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I was just so angry today...

I get so angry when people take back their words without justification...

I almost could not handle it...

I wanted to just take everything that has happened in high school and throw it in their faces to watch the expressions of anger turn into disgust and shock so I can be like "look at what has happened to me and you didn't even realize.."

I am different than you remember...

I am not manipulative, but as everyone else, I know how...

I do not do drugs, I do not smoke, I do not get high, I do not have sex.

I've covered the basics, correct?

Here's the bad things, I presume.

I have had four boyfriends and one did cheat on me. I have been depressed for the longest time. I have been suicidal and have tried to kill myself. I have cut myself. I do hurt myself. I have been addicted to the pain and the release. I am failing chemistry. I am a failure as a daughter. I am a failure as an Asian. I am a failure as a person.

At least I am trying to work through it all..

You nearly took swimming from me..

Do you know how I am without swimming?? I am not the same..

I need swimming to live, and that is not an exaggeration .

I am not the same without swimming.

Heh, your temptations are too great.

My anger just made me wanna cut myself... hurt myself... anything to feel the pain again to bring me back down...

I wanted to spite you... go hang out with the wrong people... do the wrong things... anything to get back... it didn't even matter anymore...



What is wrong with me?