I got a note this morning. (click on the link to read it) |note|
Here's my response.
I'm pretty sure I know how special I am. I just don't care to show it. I don't care if everyone here loves me or not. I'm pretty sure BJ doesn't since he's always being mean to me. I know he's my brother, but that's no excuse. Like before on his birthday when he was twisting my arm back all the way and Pa was sitting at the table watching and laughing and all either of you said was "Well, it's his birthday!". I remember that day, I'm not stupid and I know it wasn't a dream or my imagination because all of my dreams are usually hard to remember the whole thing. And all of you denied it ever happened. That and if everyone here loved me, I'd be accepted for liking girls and not have to pretend to be straight. And even if I was accepted for liking girls, I'd probably lose my sleepover priveleges (which is very rare now-a-days). And I'm working on my teeth. I've been brushing my teeth every morning before I go to school and now that I'm used to that, I'm getting used to brushing my teeth after I eat something. And I'm not really used to usin mouth wash, so I'll try to get used to doing that. But I don't really have time in the morning before school to do that since I have to leave so early. Same goes with my face. I was using those face pads in the mornings, but then it started getting to where I didn't have a lot of time cause everyone's knocking on the door when I'm in there and then I have to get out so they can use the bathroom when they don't even need it until like 20 minutes after me and Jodi leave for school. And I would get in there earlier, but Pa goes in there at 6:00 and I don't want to have to get up earlier than that just to use the bathroom. If I did that, I'd have to be going to bed right after dinner every day. I don't think I look very good, but a lot of people think that about themselves. It's natural not to think that and if I did, I'd feel conceited and people hate that, it's a lot better to just be modest. And I must look at least a little good cause there's some guy in my gym class who likes me (he's in my bio class too). But I don't like him. And I know I can always ask for help with school. I don't like to though because I'm not learning anything. When people are trying to help me, I'm not really listening to how to get the answer. I like trying to do things myself so I can be more independent so I don't have to depend on others for answers. I want to be able to do things on my own. And if I'm depressed, I don't want to talk to anyone, I can get through it myself, I'm not weak or anything. And I definately wouldn't talk to anyone in this house about it. I would only talk to Christina about it because she's my BFFL. I've been working on getting all happy and getting all my homework done so I don't get bitched at. I've been getting my homework done and whatever I don't do at home, I do during my 2 half period lunch hours. But my friends would always talk to me and I could never get anything done, so I dropped them and that's better for me. I can still make friends in my last 3 years of high school. I still have Christina and although I don't get to talk to her much, she's the only friend I need.
Poke`mon · Sat Feb 11, 2006 @ 08:09pm · 0 Comments |