@ Lady Bern:
Thank you for submitting your story! ^___^
You don’t need to apologize because your short prose was enjoyable to read. It is important to have confidence when you’re presenting your work because you have, you must admit, put some effort into this. Think highly and others will do the same.
That was wicked:
-The beginning of your story was appealing. I liked how you described what your character Deon liked to do. This shows character development. It was a very good way to open to your story.
-You showed your character Mina’s relationship with Deon very well. The reader has has a good idea of how close the characters are with one another.
-I liked how you added intensity to your story. Putting your characters in a life or death situation can grab hold of a reader’s attention very quickly.
-I enjoyed how ironic your ending was. I did not see that one coming at all! It made the overall story very humorous but however, I sense that your character Deon isn’t trust worthy after all, either it be in the Nintendo world, or in real life. I think it was excellent foreshadowing.
-The way you presented your betrayal in your story was unique. I liked the situation your character Mina was stuck in. It showed the real fr
Gnarly The Dolphin Community Member 
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