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The Tomegarithon A writ of time, space and the people caught within it's uncaring vortex.


Marduk_Yalgumn
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Chapter Nine: It sucks being young.
Now, I'm going to do what every moron over forty screams not to do over the internet. I'm going to put some personal information on it: My age. (I talk of over forty morons who think that the internet is the direct cause of crime nowdays, because there was no internet when they were kids, and they weren't raped! Fools).

My birthday is the eight of May, 1987. That means that right now, I am seventeen. And I get paid less at work because of it. A lot less. A friend of mine, on normal wages, gets $11.90 an hour, which is pretty good for a part-time job cleaning out a meat-room at a supermarket. At that same supermarket I work the Deli. This is bad. I get $8.92 an hour. This is worse.

To sum it out simply, my friend worked eighteen hours this weekend, and will get a little over $267 for it. I worked fifteen and a half, but will only get $210. This, my loyal readers (yes, both of you) is screwed. My job required actual effort. My friend works either cleaning the meatroom (which takes forty-five minutes and he gets three hours to do it), or packing biscuits into boxes.

Now, to all those disappointed in my lack of funny bullshit in this entry:

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea", said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg."

In the church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister.

Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed."Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!"

Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice.

As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that dammned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your a**!" "Amen," replied the congregation.

Good enough?

Marduk 'I'm doin it for you readers' Yalgumn




 
 
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