6235river
BiggieSmall123
Blood-Tipped Thorn
Fashionable Elder
12,075 Points
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100
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100
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100
6235river
Mythical Tiger
Blood-Tipped Thorn
Fashionable Elder
12,075 Points
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100
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100
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100
6235river
Siolphlanda
6235river
Patroness
6235river
Waging
1,700 Points
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100
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50
6235river
HEHinze
6235river
Arrow Slingzen
6235river
Puh-lease. CONSTRUCTIVE critisizm is nice, yah know? Besides, whats not perfect to you, could be perfect to someone else. So I don't need you trying to change anything. Just leave you comment and move on with life.
That WAS constructive criticism. You said in the topic that you were thinking about publishing, so I would assume you'd want as much help as you can get.
Since I don't feel like saying the same thing over again, read the last part of my last post.
Now, you say you're thinking about publishing? Well, I have a few questions.
- Do you have a synopsis written?
- Do you have a query letter? Do you know what goes into one?
- Do you have any agencies/publishing houses in mind and know what to look for?
- Do you have the tolerance it takes? You seemed impatient and immature when responding to the constructive critiques in your earlier posts. That is unprofessional and will get you no where in the publishing world. Someone has just spent their time on your work. Please, do take that into consideration.
Now, for the actual story itself.
- More cohesive. That'll make the flow tons better.
- Better description, less pointing out facts.
- A more original plot would be nice.
- I must say though, even though she has some composition quirks I'm not to fond of, I'm quite liking this character Violet.
You have potential, it just needs some work like every other piece of writing ever created.
I'm not really going to publish it. It was just one of those "In the moment" type of things. But thanks for your construcive criticism.
I'm just going to say that it's quite shitty of you to be so rude when you're getting what you've asked for.
As for the story itself, you need to do several things to fix it. Your descriptions are, as stated before, almost nonexistent, and worse than that, the opening isn't strong at all. You shouldn't feel as though you were forced to read a story, as I felt with yours. Phrases such as "the annoyingly preppy blond girl" weren't helping much, either. Your sentences need to be spiced up, and you need to learn how to combine sentences; instead of "But they weren't together anymore. They just worked together."
Overall it reads like a first draft, and needs some serious work.
6235river
Inebriant
6235river
HEHinze
6235river
Arrow Slingzen
6235river
Puh-lease. CONSTRUCTIVE critisizm is nice, yah know? Besides, whats not perfect to you, could be perfect to someone else. So I don't need you trying to change anything. Just leave you comment and move on with life.
That WAS constructive criticism. You said in the topic that you were thinking about publishing, so I would assume you'd want as much help as you can get.
Since I don't feel like saying the same thing over again, read the last part of my last post.
Now, you say you're thinking about publishing? Well, I have a few questions.
- Do you have a synopsis written?
- Do you have a query letter? Do you know what goes into one?
- Do you have any agencies/publishing houses in mind and know what to look for?
- Do you have the tolerance it takes? You seemed impatient and immature when responding to the constructive critiques in your earlier posts. That is unprofessional and will get you no where in the publishing world. Someone has just spent their time on your work. Please, do take that into consideration.
Now, for the actual story itself.
- More cohesive. That'll make the flow tons better.
- Better description, less pointing out facts.
- A more original plot would be nice.
- I must say though, even though she has some composition quirks I'm not to fond of, I'm quite liking this character Violet.
You have potential, it just needs some work like every other piece of writing ever created.
I'm not really going to publish it. It was just one of those "In the moment" type of things. But thanks for your construcive criticism.
I'm just going to say that it's quite shitty of you to be so rude when you're getting what you've asked for.
As for the story itself, you need to do several things to fix it. Your descriptions are, as stated before, almost nonexistent, and worse than that, the opening isn't strong at all. You shouldn't feel as though you were forced to read a story, as I felt with yours. Phrases such as "the annoyingly preppy blond girl" weren't helping much, either. Your sentences need to be spiced up, and you need to learn how to combine sentences; instead of "But they weren't together anymore. They just worked together."
Overall it reads like a first draft, and needs some serious work.
I'm just writing this for fun. What don't you get??? Only a few people will read this because its going to be on this website and thats it. I'm not gonna publish it! do you get that? wink
Waging
1,700 Points
-
100
-
50
6235river
Inebriant
6235river
HEHinze
6235river
Since I don't feel like saying the same thing over again, read the last part of my last post.
Now, you say you're thinking about publishing? Well, I have a few questions.
- Do you have a synopsis written?
- Do you have a query letter? Do you know what goes into one?
- Do you have any agencies/publishing houses in mind and know what to look for?
- Do you have the tolerance it takes? You seemed impatient and immature when responding to the constructive critiques in your earlier posts. That is unprofessional and will get you no where in the publishing world. Someone has just spent their time on your work. Please, do take that into consideration.
Now, for the actual story itself.
- More cohesive. That'll make the flow tons better.
- Better description, less pointing out facts.
- A more original plot would be nice.
- I must say though, even though she has some composition quirks I'm not to fond of, I'm quite liking this character Violet.
You have potential, it just needs some work like every other piece of writing ever created.
I'm not really going to publish it. It was just one of those "In the moment" type of things. But thanks for your construcive criticism.
I'm just going to say that it's quite shitty of you to be so rude when you're getting what you've asked for.
As for the story itself, you need to do several things to fix it. Your descriptions are, as stated before, almost nonexistent, and worse than that, the opening isn't strong at all. You shouldn't feel as though you were forced to read a story, as I felt with yours. Phrases such as "the annoyingly preppy blond girl" weren't helping much, either. Your sentences need to be spiced up, and you need to learn how to combine sentences; instead of "But they weren't together anymore. They just worked together."
Overall it reads like a first draft, and needs some serious work.
I'm just writing this for fun. What don't you get??? Only a few people will read this because its going to be on this website and thats it. I'm not gonna publish it! do you get that? wink
Hm, well maybe it's the fact that you said you were planning on publishing it, until someone told you it was utter s**t, then you suddenly changed your mind.
6235river