The Anti-Guide

How do you try to improve your writing?

I try to avoid old, stupid things.	17.5%	[ 2370 ]
I add new things.	14.7%	[ 1993 ]
A combination of both (if one more than the other, pick it).	67.8%	[ 9169 ]
Total Votes:			[ 13532 ]

[XMegantronX]

((I don't know if anyone said this or not<--is lazy and didn't want to read through tons of pages all night))

Write about pets who are good and cute. They never pee on the carpet or chew up your favorite shoes.

They are always sitting in the corner of the room or stay in your lap for hours, letting you pet them. As we all know, animals don't have personalities or individuality at all.

[I am The Compendium]

Never look into how offensive a story is. It's not like constantly referring to a certain book can hint that you hate Jews or blacks.

[LoperDoper]

marshmallowcreampie

All characters have to be white unless their race is either relevant to the plot, or the character has traits that warrant making them a racial stereotype.

Remember folks, non-whites are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE. They never go on with life, and must constantly reference to the fact they are not white.
Read Along Came a Spider if you don't believe me.

[I_Write_Ivre]

LoperDoper

marshmallowcreampie

All characters have to be white unless their race is either relevant to the plot, or the character has traits that warrant making them a racial stereotype.

Remember folks, non-whites are COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE. They never go on with life, and must constantly reference to the fact they are not white.
Read Along Came a Spider if you don't believe me.

The only exception is a book about race written by a non-white (because how would they understand being different or oppressed?).

[Misuki Marishima]

A "good" pet is one that always does what it's told. Even if its owner is incompetent and is telling it to do things that will not really help either one in the long run.

In a fantasy world, the Human race must be drastically similar to the White race in terms of power, prestige, etc. Humans are never allowed to be the "minority" in terms of power.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Misuki Marishima

A "good" pet is one that always does what it's told. Even if its owner is incompetent and is telling it to do things that will not really help either one in the long run.

In a fantasy world, the Human race must be drastically similar to the White race in terms of power, prestige, etc. Humans are never allowed to be the "minority" in terms of power.

Or just the minority in terms of population.

Anywhere. Even monster infested hellholes should have more humans than anything else.

[Misuki Marishima]

The Phoenix Rises Again

Misuki Marishima

A "good" pet is one that always does what it's told. Even if its owner is incompetent and is telling it to do things that will not really help either one in the long run.

In a fantasy world, the Human race must be drastically similar to the White race in terms of power, prestige, etc. Humans are never allowed to be the "minority" in terms of power.

Or just the minority in terms of population.

Anywhere. Even monster infested hellholes should have more humans than anything else.

{... Dude, I read too fast and saw "monster" as "molester"...}

And if a non-human race is in some kind of power, it's up to the human race to de-throne them and ultimately make the kingdom/world a better place.

On the subject of dragons in particular, none of them are allowed to be intelligent or sentient. They are just automated fire-machines that like to torch anything that moves.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

If you want to make a white or white-inspired character, give them an Asian name. If you want to make an Asian or Asian-inpired character, give them a white name.

[Maltese_Falcon91]

There's nothing wrong with just having an entire plot be about two characters getting repeatedly captured, and accomplishing absolutely nothing.

For example: The female lead can be captured, released (onto a planet that's about to be destroyed) then captured by some locals (who want to try and ransom her to get off said planet, for some reason). Then have the male escape confinement (make sure he doesn't manage it on his own, you need a deus ex character to do this for him) goes to the planet the female lead is on, gets captured too. Then, when they're both captured, they can be captured by a group of robots or whatever. Then another deus ex character can come along and free them, only for them to be captured again by the main bad guy.

The only pitfall you need to watch out for is making your characters actually do something. Nobody wants to read about that. Any time the plot calls for them to escape and be captured in a completely new location, you need to use a deus ex character to do everything for them.

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Answering questions directly is for dummies. So is understanding that others might be in different situations than you.

You know what's not for dummies? Answering both of those with anger.

[avearia]

Misuki Marishima

On the subject of dragons in particular, none of them are allowed to be intelligent or sentient. They are just automated fire-machines that like to torch anything that moves.

...Except the main human character, who befriends them.
After all, dragons totally love humans. It's in their nature!

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

avearia

Misuki Marishima

On the subject of dragons in particular, none of them are allowed to be intelligent or sentient. They are just automated fire-machines that like to torch anything that moves.

...Except the main human character, who befriends them.
After all, dragons totally love humans. It's in their nature!

Those don't think like humans, though. They're just really cool talking pets.

[Rotsab M. Hyolf]

Misuki Marishima

The Phoenix Rises Again

Misuki Marishima

A "good" pet is one that always does what it's told. Even if its owner is incompetent and is telling it to do things that will not really help either one in the long run.

In a fantasy world, the Human race must be drastically similar to the White race in terms of power, prestige, etc. Humans are never allowed to be the "minority" in terms of power.

Or just the minority in terms of population.

Anywhere. Even monster infested hellholes should have more humans than anything else.

{... Dude, I read too fast and saw "monster" as "molester"...}

And if a non-human race is in some kind of power, it's up to the human race to de-throne them and ultimately make the kingdom/world a better place.

On the subject of dragons in particular, none of them are allowed to be intelligent or sentient. They are just automated fire-machines that like to torch anything that moves.

(Actually, I would argue that in most fantasy stories the humans are treated as minorities. Everyone wants to read about pseudo-humans instead, like shapeshifters and elves. )

Remember, research is lame. Everything popular has plot holes (Citizen Kane!) and poor research (A Song of Ice and Fire), so you don't need to waste time doing that stuff either!

The best route is to put up a survey on DeviantArt to find out what most people like -- then just write about that stuff! Even better, ask them to fill out profiles so they can see their very own characters featured in the work!

[The Phoenix Rises Again]

Stories should be about epic battles of good vs. evil fought by two people who hate each other's guts.

Fights aren't won by cunning or negotiations. No on can possibly respect an enemy combatant as a human being outside of combat. No one joins a fight regretting they feel they have to.

[xXAbsyntheXx]

Writing a fantasy novel? Make up words. Make up as many words as is humanly possible. Calling swords "swords" is totally overrated. Call them something cool and weird to disguise the fact that they're actually just swords. All of your cities must have unpronounceable names that must all sound extremely similar and should all start with the same letter or sound. The same rule applies to your main characters. Or all of your characters, actually. Go into obscure details about the geography that have nothing to do with the storyline. Oh, and no matter what else you do, you absolutely must have a wise, mysterious old man to mentor your main character and provide a deus-ex-machina at least twice. Ane he must die before the end of your book. No one will be expecting that.