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- Posted: Wed, 06 Feb 2013 20:00:26 +0000
You're right; it's not guaranteed. It's more of a chance that can only be determined in how the person's friends will react. However, if the person that is taking interest into leaving has the slightest concern that his/her friends would announce his/her absence from the community, then it should be at least his/her 'responsibility' to notify his/her friends that he/she will not appreciate that type of behavior. Unless the person doesn't defends his/herself as soon as the thread is created, then the said person will immediately be associated with the tag "attention-whore." Though we both understand that that tag is entirely an assumption since no one can read eachother's mind/motives, you shouldn't forget that those specific claims can be justified into sense just by analyzing how the 'quitter' is reacting toward the thread created for him/her.
I acknowledge that there are genuine people with genuine feelings in regards to leaving with the least attention possible. However, what distinguishes them from the rest of the criticized models is that he/she would do whatever he/she can to take down the offensive topic. Unlike the two examples you provided, both models include the 'subjects' condoning the behavior or suggesting a 'reason' why they don't have the power to control how their peers act. I get that; every person for his own thoughts. Though, the peer should at least know that if the 'quitter' didn't make a thread for his/herself then what gives the peer the idea that he/she should do it for them; especially without the 'quitter's' consent. However, if the 'quitter' does happen give consent, even by impressing an 'I won't do anything to stop this' behavior, he/she will look like he/she wants attention regardless.
As a disclaimer, the last thing I want to do is provoke a potential flame war between my possibly unpopular opinion and the defending friends of Dandeliondart's or Miya's. I respect that both players can make whatever personal decision they like in relation to the real world; I just don't respect how the event was carried out. In my personal opinion, everything could have been executed better.
Dandeliondart's anonymous gifting spree between many recognized players of zOMG! was basically setting itself up for a "Let's play Sherlock." Not only that, but her vague message of 'leaving' enforced an insecurity of who was lost and who wasn't. It would have been silly to believe that when a ringlet of friends 'coincidentally' get a gift of the same written message they would not put forth the effort to track down who it is.
In regards to Miya's case, I respect that you did - at least for me - the right thing. You approached a private matter through the use of a private system. Her other friends, however, did not. They assumed that by posting an appreciation topic that would only tolerate endearing / familiar faces, she would not leave.
Never have I said or laid my personal thoughts of what I believe is a proper status nor have I even mentioned whether the person should or shouldn't announce his/her departure. From what I've only been concern with, they can do whatever they want in deciding if it's 'necessary' to leave a message. That is their personal decision; not mine. The only thing that affects me, despite that it is/can be indirect, is whether or not the departure is announced in Z!F.