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Chapter Seven: The Move
I got woke up thanks to my loud alarm clock. I slammed my hand on it, instantly turn it off. My sore hand hurt a little bit but I can move it and stuff. I got up and took a shower. Today is going to be interesting. I showered for a bit then got out and changed into a white shirt and black blacks. As I went to the kitchen to get myself an apple the door bell rang. What, who could that be? I got my apple and answered the door. “Yeah?” I asked as I took a bite of my apple. It was a man and two ladies; they were wearing suits and had a briefcase. Oh god, here we go.

“You must be Maria; we spoke over the phone. May we come inside?” I nodded and opened the door wider for them. This day just got ******** up. They went in and sat down in my living room. “I’m your mother’s doctor, Mr. Holmes.” I nodded. Great my mom has an old a** doctor. “And this is your mother’s counselor, Mrs. Germen.” She smiled and held out her hand. Great, now this old a** lady wants me to shake your hand. I looked at her hand for a bit, and then she lowered it down, placing it on her lap. Heh.

“I’m your mother’s social worker, Mrs. Nevis. Let’s get down to the matter, shall we?” Now, okay at least I will be able to miss school. She looked at me for a bit and then asked. “Oh wait, is that your breakfast?” What the ******** do you think? I nodded fast and bit into it again. “Okay…. so anyway, how have you been?” Oh god, questions. Great, just great. I stood up, walked to the kitchen, throw my apple away and washed my hands.

When I came back, I said. “I have been like s**t, thanks.” I sat on the couch that was away from them. “So tell me, when will I be able to get out of this ******** up house?” They looked kind of surprised and looked at each other. I tapped my hands on my lap. Let’s get his over with already. They shook their heads and covered their mouth. “Hey if you have something to say then say it!” They looked at me again. I’m getting tired of this s**t.

Mrs. Nevis then asked me. “Maria, has your mother ever said that it’s not a good thing to cuss or to yell at adults?” I smirked at that. I remembered the first time I cussed at mom. She ran into the kitchen, got her pills, a cup of water and went straight to her room. Since then I cussed at her all the time. Heh. Well some adults need to get yelled at.

Too can play that too. I looked at her for a bit and said, grinning. “Well, has someone told you that a lot of people don’t listen to their parents?” Mr. Holmes was getting annoyed, I could tell; Mrs. Germen was writing down stuff in her notebook and Mrs. Nevis just sat there staring at me. “It’s very rude of you to be staring at me; it’s getting annoying too so stop.” Mrs. Nevis smiled and looked at what Mrs. Germen was writing and nodded. Bitches. “So can we just get to the point now? About me moving in with some strangers?”

They nodded at each other and Mrs. Germen said, “Well, the strangers you’re going to live with are happily married and they don’t have any kids.” Heh… that’s surprising. “And when they found out about you, they both wanted you to live with them.” Wait, what? They want me? Heh, this is going to be interesting then. I smirked and she said some more. “Your mother has already meet them and agreed so now since you agreed to it. Do you want to move in with them now?”

They all looked at me, waiting for my answer. Wow this soon? “Wait, how long am I going to live with them?” I bet it’s going to be like five months. Because last time mom went to rehab she only stayed there for like two months. While she was there I stayed here and took care of myself. So what made this one so special that made her workers force me to live with someone?


More of it in a later post.
i like it ...i wonder how long shes going to have to stay... write more!
Nice, but while you've been writing so have I, so I saw a bunch a grammatial errors. Do you run your stories through spell check? If you don't then you should.

Can't wait for more!
cherry144
Nice, but while you've been writing so have I, so I saw a bunch a grammatial errors. Do you run your stories through spell check? If you don't then you should.

Can't wait for more!


I do run it in the Spell Checker but it just misses the mistakes.... including me.
Ohh. Huh. That's weird. Do you mind f I fix it up? I'll run it through spell check and then I'll edit it and post it up here with the changes.
Sure, that would be awesome of you!
Here you go!

I woke up thanks to my loud alarm clock. I slammed my hand on it, instantly turning it off. My sore hand hurt a little bit but I could move it and stuff. I got up and took a shower. Today is going to be interesting. I showered for a bit then got out and changed into a white shirt and black pants. As I went to the kitchen to get myself an apple the door bell rang. What, who could that be? I got my apple and answered the door. “Yeah?” I asked as I took a bite of my apple. It was a man and two ladies; they were wearing suits and had a briefcase. Oh god, here we go.

“You must be Maria; we spoke over the phone. May we come inside?” I nodded and opened the door wider for them. This day just got ******** up. They went in and sat down in my living room. “I’m your mother’s doctor, Mr. Holmes.” I nodded. Great, my mom has an old a** doctor. “And this is your mother’s counselor, Mrs. Germen.” She smiled and held out her hand. Great, now this old a** lady wants me to shake her hand. I looked at her hand for a bit, and then she lowered it down, placing it on her lap. Heh.

“I’m your mother’s social worker, Mrs. Nevis. Let’s get down to the matter, shall we?” Now, okay, at least I’ll be able to miss school. She looked at me for a bit and then asked, “Oh wait, is that your breakfast?” What the ******** do you think? I nodded fast and bit into it again. “Okay…so anyway, how have you been?” Oh god, questions. Great, just great. I stood up, walked to the kitchen, threw my apple away and washed my hands.

When I came back, I said, “I’ve been like s**t, thanks.” I sat on the couch that was away from them. “So tell me, when will I be able to get out of this ******** up house?” They looked kind of surprised and looked at each other. I tapped my hands on my lap. Let’s get his over with already. They shook their heads and covered their mouth. “Hey, if you have something to say then say it!” They looked at me again. I’m getting tired of this s**t.

Mrs. Nevis then asked me, “Maria, has your mother ever said that it’s not a good thing to cuss or to yell at adults?” I smirked at that. I remembered the first time I cussed at my mother. She ran into the kitchen and got her pills and a cup of water and went straight to her room. Since then I cussed at her all the time. Heh. Well some adults need to get yelled at.

Two can play that too. I looked at her for a bit and said, grinning, “Well, has someone told you that a lot of people don’t listen to their parents?” Mr. Holmes was getting annoyed, I could tell; Mrs. Germen was writing down stuff in her notebook and Mrs. Nevis just sat there staring at me. “It’s very rude of you to be staring at me; it’s getting annoying too so stop.” Mrs. Nevis smiled and looked at what Mrs. Germen was writing and nodded. Bitches. “So can we just get to the point now? About me moving in with some strangers?”

They nodded at each other and Mrs. Germen said, “Well, the strangers you’re going to live with are happily married and they don’t have any kids.” Heh… that’s surprising. “And when they found out about you, they both wanted you to live with them.” Wait, what? They want me? Heh, this is going to be interesting then. I smirked and she said some more. “Your mother has already met them and agreed so now, the next thing to do since you agreed to it…is if you want to move in with them now?”

They all looked at me, waiting for my answer. Wow, this soon? “Wait, how long am I going to live with them?” I bet it’s going to be like five months. Because last time mom went to rehab she only stayed there for like two months. While she was there I stayed here and took care of myself. So what made this one so special that made her workers force me to live with someone?

Edited by cherry144.
I like that one. I am really getting into it.

Ruthless Hunter

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wow. she sound like she needs an attitude adjustment. ninja
Did you see it, Chi? Some of the fixes were necessary; others just bugged me too much so I fixed them. Your tenses should run smoothly in the edited copy, too.
Yeah thank you! Yesterday I couldn't edit it because I was gone all day long, well I did get on but only for a little bit.
Nicely done, but you've let the grammar slip a little (as the others have pointed out).

I like the way you're fleshing the characters out more, and the plot is visibly going somewhere now. Also, the way you're using Maria's narrative throughout really helps to strengthen the readers opinion about the whole situation.

Question: Is there a reason behind Maria eating apples all the time? Or is it just because she likes them?

Either way, much improved.

Btw, thanks for notifying me on your post.
Thank you! Yay someone finally asked about her and the apples. There's a reason to it but I wouldn't tell you it till later... much later in the story. No problem, it's fun pming people about my story. ^^

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