mangachan
Same boat here, right down to the inability to "do more things at once." The only way I'm functioning at all right now is by setting goals, and then set miniature goals inside of those that will help you reach the big goal. Don't leave things to be done based on whether or not you feel like dealing with it. Scheduling my day to a tee helped immensely. I set up times to wake up in the morning, times to work, the block of time in which I eat, and I've instated a bed time. This scheduling works with my natural bodily fluctuations and has become a habit.
Oh yeah, limit time around people who make you feel like a failure. I rarely go on Facebook now. Focus on your goals.
Right now I'm taking it one semester of school at a time. It's hard, but I'm managing it. And the career I want to pursue has a strong potential for travel that I can enjoy.
But when it comes to getting out there and being around people without feeling self-conscious, I have no clue where to start. I've always lagged behind in the social area, and that hasn't changed. I can be around people, but I still feel lonely at the same time.
I'm especially clueless in romance. Like... I want to know what it feels like to be in a relationship. I want to understand what my friends feel with their boyfriends/fiancés/husbands, but I don't. I can imagine, but I have nothing to base my imagination on. I DO KNOW, however, that the part of my heart that's reserved for that special someone has always laid empty. I've had plenty of crushes over the years, some I even attempted to pursue, but one has ever entered that room. Some come by and peek inside, but they always pass it by. And I don't know why. It makes me feel cold and alone, seeing so many of my friends in healthy, supportive relationships and I have no clue if I'll ever feel or know that happiness. I'm happy for them, but I feel bitter and envious of them in a way. I think, "Am I not good enough? Why does no one spare me a second look? Is there something wrong with me? Is it my fault? Am I just that mangy dog no one will adopt at the animal shelter?" Some days, I try to hold my head up and try to hold onto the hope that I won't just die alone, but other days I can't help hanging my head and painfully resigning to the fact that it may very well end up that way. And it hurts.