Virgin Discrimination

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Fizzlesticks

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Grandiloquence

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Grandiloquence

I had never even heard of waiting until marriage to have sex until, like, my junior year of high school.
Unsurprisingly, I do not, nor have I ever, follow(ed) that choice.
I also never wanted to wait to have sex because I was told how painful losing one's virginity could be, and didn't want to get married only to go through a night of hell. In the end, yes, I've heard that losing one's virginity can be completely pain free with enough foreplay, etc. However, it still wouldn't have been true for me, according to my gyno.

Anyway, I don't judge anyone for waiting until marriage simply because I don't care either way. I wouldn't date someone who wanted to wait simply because I've already lost my virginity and doubt they would want to be with me, anyway. lolz

My understanding is that most of the pain that comes with losing virginity is from the hymen breaking and going too fast. Where I'm pretty sure my hymen is broken and being very open about sex and knowing to talk with my partner, I think when I lose my virginity, it will be rather painless. But I'm still a virgin, and it'll be a few years for me to test that theory. I'll get back to you on that one.

Virgins don't necessarily have a problem with a partner who isn't a virgin. I certainly don't. I personally just need a partner who can wait for me when we do start dating. It's not like we'd be completely off limits. I just don't want sex until I'm married. A bit of playing around doesn't bother me.

Not for me, I just have a tight vag. Plus, there's that whole "hymen is a myth" argument going on.

I also wouldn't wait. I didn't lose my virginity to tighten back up again.

The hymen is certainly not a myth. Anyone who thinks so is probably a bit daft.

fizzlesticks

It is a myth that, during first-time sex, girls must bleed and feel pain. Yet many women experience unnecessary pain during sex, and consider it normal. For the vast majority, sex does not have to be, and should not be painful. There are many, many things you can do to ensure pain-free sex, and if they do not work, you need to see a doctor.

A note on hymens: Hymens have nothing to do with whether you've had sex or not, from a biological perspective. No one, not even a doctor, can tell whether you've had sex from looking at you. The hymen (renamed by the modern medical community as the 'corona') is a thin, flexible membrane at the entrance of the v****a that naturally degenerates over time (more rapidly from the beginning of puberty). Some hymens are particularly thick or inflexible, and can cause pain during sexual activity—if you believe this may be the case for you, it's important that you see a doctor to discuss ways that this can be solved. I really recommend reading the ground-breaking myth-busting info in this article:

My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It

I know all that. I thought she was saying that the hymen does not exist. It exists (whether you're calling is a hymen or corona doesn't really matter to me).
Some women experience a small amount of pain when it's penetrated, but it's hardly notable in most situations, just like you've said above. Most discomfort from first time sex comes from the muscles tightening due to nervousness.

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By Lantern Light

Good for you sweetie.

I'm 24 and I'm still a virgin, and I'll hand over my V-card on my wedding night. I hold on to my virtue for mostly religious reason, but also I've kind of built up my personal culture in a very old fashioned sort of way.

I'm not anti-sex in the least though. I already have a very solid idea of what I like, and when I find someone I'd consider staying with I won't be afraid to discuss sex with him.

I wouldn't mind if someone I was dating wasn't a virgin, as long as he respected my values and worth enough to wait with me.

Thank you! It sounds like we have very similar views on sex and virginity.

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Brazekool

It gets real simple:
You have one life, and any regrets as a result of something you did because someone pressured you to are yours alone, not theirs. So do what you will. ******** them.

That is an awesome way of putting it. Thanks!

[Ossoofoo]

I didn't receive discrimination for being a virgin, but that was because all of my other friends were also virgins. We were the cool kids.

No I'm not a virgin, and I am almost a bit sad that I didn't wait until I was married. I love my boyfriend, but saving it for marriage would have made our relationship really special.

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Ossoofoo

I didn't receive discrimination for being a virgin, but that was because all of my other friends were also virgins. We were the cool kids.

No I'm not a virgin, and I am almost a bit sad that I didn't wait until I was married. I love my boyfriend, but saving it for marriage would have made our relationship really special.

That's how I think about it. Saving it seems a bit more exciting and special when you do have it. Or at least for me.

[anonumos]

You could, you know, just not talk about sex.
Then nobody cares.

[MiameMiame]

I am getting judged aswell because I am not virgin anymore. To be honest I don't care if you want to remain virgin till you 'married the right guy'.
'Handing out your v-card' is a stupid term in my opinion. Virginity doesn't have anything to do with cards. In my opinion waiting till you get married is stupid anyways. What if you divorce in a few years after marriage? It's sex, it's natural its healthy.
Oh and one last point, Everyone gets judged, deal with it.

[ioncewasafootlong]

The only ones I make fun of are the ones who are so self-righteous about it that they drive me up the wall. I can understand hating on those people, but I don't often see the ones who are chill about it getting made fun of. I tend to see it the other way actually: people getting made fun of for not being virgins. I was tormented in middle and high school for being a 'skank' when the fact is, unlike you, I didn't have a choice in the matter. So if I were you, I would just be thankful for that and stop whining about being judged for a decision that YOU made and clearly openly express.

[fizznomore]

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Fizzlesticks

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Grandiloquence

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My understanding is that most of the pain that comes with losing virginity is from the hymen breaking and going too fast. Where I'm pretty sure my hymen is broken and being very open about sex and knowing to talk with my partner, I think when I lose my virginity, it will be rather painless. But I'm still a virgin, and it'll be a few years for me to test that theory. I'll get back to you on that one.

Virgins don't necessarily have a problem with a partner who isn't a virgin. I certainly don't. I personally just need a partner who can wait for me when we do start dating. It's not like we'd be completely off limits. I just don't want sex until I'm married. A bit of playing around doesn't bother me.

Not for me, I just have a tight vag. Plus, there's that whole "hymen is a myth" argument going on.

I also wouldn't wait. I didn't lose my virginity to tighten back up again.

The hymen is certainly not a myth. Anyone who thinks so is probably a bit daft.

fizzlesticks

It is a myth that, during first-time sex, girls must bleed and feel pain. Yet many women experience unnecessary pain during sex, and consider it normal. For the vast majority, sex does not have to be, and should not be painful. There are many, many things you can do to ensure pain-free sex, and if they do not work, you need to see a doctor.

A note on hymens: Hymens have nothing to do with whether you've had sex or not, from a biological perspective. No one, not even a doctor, can tell whether you've had sex from looking at you. The hymen (renamed by the modern medical community as the 'corona') is a thin, flexible membrane at the entrance of the v****a that naturally degenerates over time (more rapidly from the beginning of puberty). Some hymens are particularly thick or inflexible, and can cause pain during sexual activity—if you believe this may be the case for you, it's important that you see a doctor to discuss ways that this can be solved. I really recommend reading the ground-breaking myth-busting info in this article:

My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It

I know all that. I thought she was saying that the hymen does not exist. It exists (whether you're calling is a hymen or corona doesn't really matter to me).
Some women experience a small amount of pain when it's penetrated, but it's hardly notable in most situations, just like you've said above. Most discomfort from first time sex comes from the muscles tightening due to nervousness.

Glad that you know all that, but it seemed relevant to clarify for everyone involved in this particular line of the discussion.

[Nariana]

I, too, am abstinent. However, I don't think anyone's ever judged me for it.

Personally, it seems like you would find your spouse faster by weeding out those who stay for sex and by finding someone who respects your beliefs/reasons.

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Fizzlesticks

Glad that you know all that, but it seemed relevant to clarify for everyone involved in this particular line of the discussion.

Oh, that's fine. I just wanted you to know that I know.
It's fine by me if you want to post something to educate others, even if you do it by quoting me. I just wanted to clarify myself is all.

[Joychantel]

Everyones discrimitates against something, its just what people do, but i acknowledge your pledge as one of good Nature, and its much safer to do it with someone you trust so you know they arent contracted with anything they dont want to tell you about at the moment, which is why i think some people wait until marriage.you are doing the right thing, and sex should not make a relationship so dont let things like that get to you. I hope when the time comes that you choose to be sexually active that you have a healthy and happy sex life. 3nodding

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MiameMiame

I am getting judged aswell because I am not virgin anymore. To be honest I don't care if you want to remain virgin till you 'married the right guy'.
'Handing out your v-card' is a stupid term in my opinion. Virginity doesn't have anything to do with cards. In my opinion waiting till you get married is stupid anyways. What if you divorce in a few years after marriage? It's sex, it's natural its healthy.
Oh and one last point, Everyone gets judged, deal with it.

Handing out your v-card is just another saying, a metaphor. Like saying something is something is a piece of cake when what they're doing has nothing to do with cake.
Why is it stupid? Sure, you could get divorced, but the intention was definitely to remain together forever with a genuine, legally binding commitment, which is a really huge commitment. Sure, it may end sour, but that won't change the achievement. Though, if it was a healthy relationship before marriage, it's probably going to be healthy after. Personally, after the divorce, I'd probably just go on with life and do the same thing; no sex until I'm remarried. Of course, there's a good chance my view will change by then, and that's fine too. Just right now, that's not what I want. It's hardly stupid, it's just a personal view that may or may not change over time.
I am dealing with it. It's not like I'm crying because people don't like it. I just wanted to know what others have experienced or thought about it.

[Tiara_Estella]

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Sexual Innuendo

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Brasa Shikabane

I get judged by family sometimes over this topic. It makes me rather uncomfortable. I'm the quiet introverted type and don't really want to bother with something like that unless it is with someone I have a truly deep bond with. Having sex just to have it is empty. I want my first time to mean something more then having the right to say "LOL I DID IT".

I completely agree. Sure, sex feels good and might be fun, but it's for making babies, and if I'm going to have it, it's going to be with someone I want to raise a family with.

Lol, sex is not just for making babies. Most mammals have sex for pleasure as well as reproduction, so even Mother Nature herself disagrees with you.

It's 100% for making babies. It being pleasurable does not stop the fact that we have sex to make offspring. It being pleasurable is a way to make it something animals want to have. This, in turn, leads to babies. The pleasure itself is a part of the mechanism to make babies.
So sex is not for pleasure. It is pleasurable, but it's for making babies. That is it's purpose. Mother nature is just smart and knew how to make it much more interesting in order for us to have lots of babies.

I...agree with both of you. <.<'

The BODY'S purpose for sex is indeed baby-making. Pleasure, hormones and the like are all methods for Mother Nature to ensure we continue creating children and keep the population alive.

HOWEVER.

If you choose to look at a HUMAN'S purpose, it can be as variable as, say, a Bonobo Monkey's. Whether it be for Pleasure, Social Inclusion, Physical Need, Emotional Need, Baby-Making, Bond-Making, or even for no purpose at all.

So, you are both correct, you are just viewing purpose from two different standpoints. One from a Social view and the other from a more....scientific view (unsure whether scientific is correct, but seems to make my point.)

Please take a moment to step back and realize that neither of you is incorrect and as thus, you are both arguing a matter that need not be argued.