Upperclass Hero
You're judging me, my girlfriend, and my entire relationship based on the one small ******** aspect of it. "Emotionally abusive?" "Unhealthy?" You don't know anything about me or her but you have the gall to make such accusations. I recognize that you said that that's how I'm explaining it, but that's just a cop out.
I used the fact that she slept with someone before we got together as an anecdote to dissuade people from messing around with someone they don't love because it could come back and bite you in the a** when someone you do love finds you. I don't need my relationship dissected by someone who read 4 or 5 posts of me talking about the only bad things that have happened.
We talk about the issues that we do have and neither one of us holds back how we feel, that is somehow wrong? So be it, it works for us. Looking back, you are right, I didn't have a reason to be upset back then, but I was...and I let her know how I felt. I don't regret it one bit.
I'm not really judging anyone. I'm saying, based on how you are explaining it, that is how it seems. That's not a cop out. I'm not saying it is fact, but if it's actually anything like how you're explaining, go to a therapist and see if there's any actual deep seated problems. And she should see a therapist because she really shouldn't be feeling so guilty over something like that. She made a mistake, but she can't let it her control her life.
No, it isn't wrong that you talk about issues, but if it means someone ends up crying or upset, you've gotta work on your communication skills with each other.