Transtastic ||Support for the proud Trans Population||

Remy is back again....

Please don't kill me. D:	13.8%	[ 185 ]
I'll be nice, I promise.	23.2%	[ 310 ]
I'm back for now, we're all good right?	14.2%	[ 190 ]
Wait... What are you doing with that knife?	48.8%	[ 652 ]
Total Votes:			[ 1337 ]

[Desideraht]

I really need to revise the OP so that it includes that debating the "legitimacy" of being trans isn't allowed in here. I think we can agree that's pretty shitty, right? Questions are fine but when you start bucking and insisting we "wouldn't exist if society were different", this is passively implying that our condition is illegitimate and entirely social. It's very triggering for some people.

I'm busy for the next few days (work) but when I have some freetime, I'm gutting the OP and stuff (finally) to fix definitions and refine the rules. If you have any specific changes you want to see, please post them. This revision is well over-due. I think I'm mostly going to fix formatting and the definitions section and make the whole thing easier to read for now. I won't be "adding" much. Just giving it a facelift.

[Navi Le Faye]

This made me feel better, so I thought

I'd share.

[Navi Le Faye]

I just found this book, and well..I think its actually rather informative. I've always been somewhat confused by what exactly a crossdresser is...no idea why. Perhaps because early in my life I kept telling myself I just wanted to crossdress and that was all there was to it, though of course now I realize that's a lie. So I guess I somehow subconsciously told myself that crossdressers were just trans and didn't know it yet...after reading this book though..I realize that isn't necessarily true.

The Gender Book
could also be helpful for educating those you wish to come out to and so forth.

[Robot Giny]

Desideraht

I really need to revise the OP so that it includes that debating the "legitimacy" of being trans isn't allowed in here. I think we can agree that's pretty shitty, right? Questions are fine but when you start bucking and insisting we "wouldn't exist if society were different", this is passively implying that our condition is illegitimate and entirely social. It's very triggering for some people.

I'm busy for the next few days (work) but when I have some freetime, I'm gutting the OP and stuff (finally) to fix definitions and refine the rules. If you have any specific changes you want to see, please post them. This revision is well over-due. I think I'm mostly going to fix formatting and the definitions section and make the whole thing easier to read for now. I won't be "adding" much. Just giving it a facelift.

I just realized that cis* isn't in the definitions on the front page. That should probably be added.

[Desideraht]

Robot Giny

Desideraht

I really need to revise the OP so that it includes that debating the "legitimacy" of being trans isn't allowed in here. I think we can agree that's pretty shitty, right? Questions are fine but when you start bucking and insisting we "wouldn't exist if society were different", this is passively implying that our condition is illegitimate and entirely social. It's very triggering for some people.

I'm busy for the next few days (work) but when I have some freetime, I'm gutting the OP and stuff (finally) to fix definitions and refine the rules. If you have any specific changes you want to see, please post them. This revision is well over-due. I think I'm mostly going to fix formatting and the definitions section and make the whole thing easier to read for now. I won't be "adding" much. Just giving it a facelift.

I just realized that cis* isn't in the definitions on the front page. That should probably be added.

Thanks!
Yeah when I do start fixing stuff I'll ask everyone in the thread to look @ it and critique it for further revision too

[Desideraht]

Navi Le Faye

I just found this book, and well..I think its actually rather informative. I've always been somewhat confused by what exactly a crossdresser is...no idea why. Perhaps because early in my life I kept telling myself I just wanted to crossdress and that was all there was to it, though of course now I realize that's a lie. So I guess I somehow subconsciously told myself that crossdressers were just trans and didn't know it yet...after reading this book though..I realize that isn't necessarily true.

The Gender Book
could also be helpful for educating those you wish to come out to and so forth.

Excellent explanations. It's a brilliant piece. Art is hard to look at, though.

[Seraph of Thursday]

I forgot to mention when I went to get my hair cut, my support worker again slipped into degendering me. Yay. I do not understand how she does it. I just cannot understand how, because we met after I started T, and she's never known me in the feminine gender role, by a feminine name or otherwise non-masculinely.
Yet, she keeps doing this.
The last time before this she slipped by asking me about my "princess phase" after talking about her daughter going through one and implying that most girls go through one. Not a big slip, I let it go, because when people talk about their kids, they say stupid s**t for some reason.

Now, she was ranting about her ex's way of doing things or... I have no idea what, really, I can't remember what the subject was. Either way, I was agreeing with her that what the dude was doing was highly impractical and illogical. She replied with "Just can't understand men sometimes, right?"

I was like "Ehehe. Hee. Eh. Heh. Um. Well this is awkward."
She didn't even catch it.

Also, my dad called me daughter the other day. Another extremely awkward moment there, for both of us.

And for the rest of my post... I'll just spoilertag this because if I had a casual blog, this would belong there, but since I don't, I'll just be confused here instead.

I have this really weird feeling that this girl I met recently is interested in me.

I also found out I'm a behaviouristic b***h and tested my theory by asking someone to pass me X, to prove my theory that she would be the one to hand it to me out of the seven people present, and when this did in fact happen, it reinforced my gut feeling.

I'm notoriously blind to people's interests, but when you find yourself in eye contact with a stranger every time one of you is talking, it just gets that certain sort of a tone to it that even I just cannot ignore.

Seriously, what the hell? I've lost a little weight and suddenly half the world is flirting with me. I'm totally not used to this. I bought a smoothie from Arnold's ~a month ago and the girl made sure to touch my hand when handing me my change (NOBODY HAS DONE THIS TO ME EVER to press the point of how unusual it was), and keep her hand there a brief moment over the timelimit of casual accidental touch. Then when I ordered a Subway couple weeks after that, the cashier started complimenting my septum ring. This doesn't count as a flirt but nobody ever smalltalks in this country, so it was unusual anyway.
And now this.

The hell? burning_eyes
For years now I've been not only absolutely certain that I'm extremely unpleasant to any eye but also that I'd never in a thousand years have anyone who'd actually be interested in me before we've gotten to know each other, but... ugh what

There's also this girl I went to movies with, just met her for the first time there after talking to her a bit online, and I realised like the night before that it could accidentally count as a date. I'm not used to this. I just... am not. I'm so set in believing that I'll never be with anyone that now that entirely out of the blue I have these weirdass social situations that borderline casual, awkward and interest I just don't know how to react. I keep waking up to the feeling of what the actual ********] when I realise that for people who aren't me, this and that would actually be a sign of romantic interest, and that I accidentally asked someone out for a date, and ********]

[Robot Giny]

Oblivion Blades

I forgot to mention when I went to get my hair cut, my support worker again slipped into degendering me. Yay. I do not understand how she does it. I just cannot understand how, because we met after I started T, and she's never known me in the feminine gender role, by a feminine name or otherwise non-masculinely.
Yet, she keeps doing this.
The last time before this she slipped by asking me about my "princess phase" after talking about her daughter going through one and implying that most girls go through one. Not a big slip, I let it go, because when people talk about their kids, they say stupid s**t for some reason.

Now, she was ranting about her ex's way of doing things or... I have no idea what, really, I can't remember what the subject was. Either way, I was agreeing with her that what the dude was doing was highly impractical and illogical. She replied with "Just can't understand men sometimes, right?"

I was like "Ehehe. Hee. Eh. Heh. Um. Well this is awkward."
She didn't even catch it.

Also, my dad called me daughter the other day. Another extremely awkward moment there, for both of us.

And for the rest of my post... I'll just spoilertag this because if I had a casual blog, this would belong there, but since I don't, I'll just be confused here instead.

I have this really weird feeling that this girl I met recently is interested in me.

I also found out I'm a behaviouristic b***h and tested my theory by asking someone to pass me X, to prove my theory that she would be the one to hand it to me out of the seven people present, and when this did in fact happen, it reinforced my gut feeling.

I'm notoriously blind to people's interests, but when you find yourself in eye contact with a stranger every time one of you is talking, it just gets that certain sort of a tone to it that even I just cannot ignore.

Seriously, what the hell? I've lost a little weight and suddenly half the world is flirting with me. I'm totally not used to this. I bought a smoothie from Arnold's ~a month ago and the girl made sure to touch my hand when handing me my change (NOBODY HAS DONE THIS TO ME EVER to press the point of how unusual it was), and keep her hand there a brief moment over the timelimit of casual accidental touch. Then when I ordered a Subway couple weeks after that, the cashier started complimenting my septum ring. This doesn't count as a flirt but nobody ever smalltalks in this country, so it was unusual anyway.
And now this.

The hell? burning_eyes
For years now I've been not only absolutely certain that I'm extremely unpleasant to any eye but also that I'd never in a thousand years have anyone who'd actually be interested in me before we've gotten to know each other, but... ugh what

There's also this girl I went to movies with, just met her for the first time there after talking to her a bit online, and I realised like the night before that it could accidentally count as a date. I'm not used to this. I just... am not. I'm so set in believing that I'll never be with anyone that now that entirely out of the blue I have these weirdass social situations that borderline casual, awkward and interest I just don't know how to react. I keep waking up to the feeling of what the actual ********] when I realise that for people who aren't me, this and that would actually be a sign of romantic interest, and that I accidentally asked someone out for a date, and ******** lot of women do that to me, mostly coworkers. I try to be understanding, because these women knew me both before and after I began (publicly) identifying as trans*, so...you know, don't want to create tension in the workplace. I just try to stay calm and understanding, and most of the time I'm successful.

I had one coworker who did that the most. I always tried to give her a pass, because she really was trying; I think the whole concept just kind of blew her mind. She told me one day her teenage son was active in his high school's GSA, and he'd been educating her about trans* stuff once she revealed to him she had a trans* coworker. She was just old, and married, and had a whole passle of kids...I just lowered the bar for her, especially at the beginning. But she did do the whole degendering thing regularly, and I don't think she realized it. She was just so used to doing the whole "woman bonding" thing...argh. I really, really want to be able to have a baseline of respectful expectations for everyone, but it just does not work like that. I'm really glad she's not my coworker anymore (she left to go to grad school) so it's easier.

Well this was kind of a ramble; I hope it makes sense. It's still pretty early in the morning.

[Seraph of Thursday]

Robot Giny

A lot of women do that to me, mostly coworkers. I try to be understanding, because these women knew me both before and after I began (publicly) identifying as trans*, so...you know, don't want to create tension in the workplace. I just try to stay calm and understanding, and most of the time I'm successful.

I had one coworker who did that the most. I always tried to give her a pass, because she really was trying; I think the whole concept just kind of blew her mind. She told me one day her teenage son was active in his high school's GSA, and he'd been educating her about trans* stuff once she revealed to him she had a trans* coworker. She was just old, and married, and had a whole passle of kids...I just lowered the bar for her, especially at the beginning. But she did do the whole degendering thing regularly, and I don't think she realized it. She was just so used to doing the whole "woman bonding" thing...argh. I really, really want to be able to have a baseline of respectful expectations for everyone, but it just does not work like that. I'm really glad she's not my coworker anymore (she left to go to grad school) so it's easier.

Well this was kind of a ramble; I hope it makes sense. It's still pretty early in the morning.

There are two reasons why her behaviour is slowly getting to me - the first is that again, she never knew me before I was on T already. My whole being screams man after eleven months on T and I can't possibly figure out why her brain keeps reading me female. Nobody else's does.
She's also twentysomething, so not old either.

Now, the second point. I have no idea what the actual term for this job is, but I call these people support workers, and their job is to support people in daily lives. Hers in particular is to work with young people like me who can't really deal with our own s**t (my issue is disabling depression, too long downer of a story to share). I have two, a man and her, and they're long-time workers who are supposed to hold up a personal trust-based relationship with you in order to sort of be there, help you handle necessary business like paperwork, housing, doctor appointments, bills and all sorts of other stuff that comes with drowning in bureucratics, plus things like making sure you don't die in a corner because you suddenly couldn't get yourself out the door for buying groceries.
Probably the first and the biggest thing pressed in my case is that I'm a godsdamned dude. They're not sent here to just meet me once and be gone, they're supposed to KNOW me and deal with me personally. This is why it bothers me so much. We get along well but I'm clearly, for some absurd reason, a girl to her.
???

Luckily though, the vast majority of things don't require gender. My language doesn't even have gender pronouns and nobody's ever referred to as a woman or a man, so I hardly even notice it. Then when there comes the occasion when it does show, I'm just ******** weirded out by it, like... how does this even happen?

[Robot Giny]

Oblivion Blades

Robot Giny

A lot of women do that to me, mostly coworkers. I try to be understanding, because these women knew me both before and after I began (publicly) identifying as trans*, so...you know, don't want to create tension in the workplace. I just try to stay calm and understanding, and most of the time I'm successful.

I had one coworker who did that the most. I always tried to give her a pass, because she really was trying; I think the whole concept just kind of blew her mind. She told me one day her teenage son was active in his high school's GSA, and he'd been educating her about trans* stuff once she revealed to him she had a trans* coworker. She was just old, and married, and had a whole passle of kids...I just lowered the bar for her, especially at the beginning. But she did do the whole degendering thing regularly, and I don't think she realized it. She was just so used to doing the whole "woman bonding" thing...argh. I really, really want to be able to have a baseline of respectful expectations for everyone, but it just does not work like that. I'm really glad she's not my coworker anymore (she left to go to grad school) so it's easier.

Well this was kind of a ramble; I hope it makes sense. It's still pretty early in the morning.

There are two reasons why her behaviour is slowly getting to me - the first is that again, she never knew me before I was on T already. My whole being screams man after eleven months on T and I can't possibly figure out why her brain keeps reading me female. Nobody else's does.
She's also twentysomething, so not old either.

Now, the second point. I have no idea what the actual term for this job is, but I call these people support workers, and their job is to support people in daily lives. Hers in particular is to work with young people like me who can't really deal with our own s**t (my issue is disabling depression, too long downer of a story to share). I have two, a man and her, and they're long-time workers who are supposed to hold up a personal trust-based relationship with you in order to sort of be there, help you handle necessary business like paperwork, housing, doctor appointments, bills and all sorts of other stuff that comes with drowning in bureucratics, plus things like making sure you don't die in a corner because you suddenly couldn't get yourself out the door for buying groceries.
Probably the first and the biggest thing pressed in my case is that I'm a godsdamned dude. They're not sent here to just meet me once and be gone, they're supposed to KNOW me and deal with me personally. This is why it bothers me so much. We get along well but I'm clearly, for some absurd reason, a girl to her.
???

Luckily though, the vast majority of things don't require gender. My language doesn't even have gender pronouns and nobody's ever referred to as a woman or a man, so I hardly even notice it. Then when there comes the occasion when it does show, I'm just ******** weirded out by it, like... how does this even happen?

Huh. Well that is certainly different than my situation. ******** need to know how to do their jobs correctly. It's usually hard to explain this kind of stuff to people like that, too. I've seen more people get all huffy and offended and "Gawd! I was just trying to be nice, don't so sensitive!" then actually be accountable and apologize. I hope that she can relate to you without having to see you as a woman in her own mind, which it kind of sounds like she's done. I'm sorry about that; if I thought she'd understand at all, I'd suggest talking to her about it, but that might not be so effective. And seriously, you shouldn't have to educate your ******** support person, anyway.

[Seraph of Thursday]

Robot Giny

Huh. Well that is certainly different than my situation. ******** need to know how to do their jobs correctly. It's usually hard to explain this kind of stuff to people like that, too. I've seen more people get all huffy and offended and "Gawd! I was just trying to be nice, don't so sensitive!" then actually be accountable and apologize. I hope that she can relate to you without having to see you as a woman in her own mind, which it kind of sounds like she's done. I'm sorry about that; if I thought she'd understand at all, I'd suggest talking to her about it, but that might not be so effective. And seriously, you shouldn't have to educate your ******** support person, anyway.

Yeah. gonk I honestly would talk to her if it did any good but it won't, I'm absolutely certain of it. First issue is that she can't consciously think of me as a woman because... she just can't, that'd be a whole new level of absurd. But subconsciously I'm just a girl playing dressup or something. I just don't understand how her mind works, lol. Secondly, she's very defensive. When I try to confront her about something, she gets defensive, and it doesn't really work, because I'm not aggressive or dominant or pushy. I'm not good at lecturing people who don't want to learn.
It's absurd, ugh. I can deal with people being like that, but this person is someone who works with young people who have problems. Her job is to help us and support us and some of us are prone to be gay or trans or stuff, I'm the living proof of it, which requires her to understand what she's dealing with - and she doesn't seem to.

[Desideraht]

Oblivion Blades

I would like to share my responses to some of those stupid comments. You may find this helpful if it applies to you at all.

"Princess phase": I never had one. So I often do say, "I'm fairly sure not many boys go through that." If the argue the point further I call them out on transphobia.
"Not understanding men" or "Relating to women": I tend to say I don't understand people-- I especially love phrasing it as, "I don't understand humans." They might start laughing like it's a joke and I'll be like, "No, really, you don't get it. I don't understand humans and the way they ********' act." They get "awkward" after that but it's because people are shallow and stupid and don't understand serious conversations 90% of the time. They're stuck in their own little perfect world, mimicking gender roles and what they see on TV.

My mother said she cannot call me her son. But she will call me her child. It is difficult, yes, but not necessarily degendering. I settle for it. She is very firm about this. She says, "You came out my daughter, and became a boy. I have a hard time accepting that you are my son because you weren't always." She said she MIGHT get over this over time.

As for dating, I have had girls give me "the look" and it seems like they're showing interest and then back out of it as soon as they realize how serious I am about relationships. Hence why now I just want to find two cute bisexual men and start having threesomes, ******** dating.

[Vardoger]

I found this.
I haven't read it yet, but supposedly it's awesome.
http://www.ftmpassingtips.com/passing.html

[Seraph of Thursday]

Desideraht

Oblivion Blades

I would like to share my responses to some of those stupid comments. You may find this helpful if it applies to you at all.

"Princess phase": I never had one. So I often do say, "I'm fairly sure not many boys go through that." If the argue the point further I call them out on transphobia.
"Not understanding men" or "Relating to women": I tend to say I don't understand people-- I especially love phrasing it as, "I don't understand humans." They might start laughing like it's a joke and I'll be like, "No, really, you don't get it. I don't understand humans and the way they ********' act." They get "awkward" after that but it's because people are shallow and stupid and don't understand serious conversations 90% of the time. They're stuck in their own little perfect world, mimicking gender roles and what they see on TV.

My mother said she cannot call me her son. But she will call me her child. It is difficult, yes, but not necessarily degendering. I settle for it. She is very firm about this. She says, "You came out my daughter, and became a boy. I have a hard time accepting that you are my son because you weren't always." She said she MIGHT get over this over time.

As for dating, I have had girls give me "the look" and it seems like they're showing interest and then back out of it as soon as they realize how serious I am about relationships. Hence why now I just want to find two cute bisexual men and start having threesomes, ******** dating.

I do that too, although I settle for it if they laugh. I just want out of awkward situations, lol.

Mom doesn't call me son either - it's fine, I always feel weird when I get referred to like that. The same way I actually call my parents by their first names, we don't really use the terms much at all, so it's weird. But yeah, she also made a point that she will not, that I'll be just her child, because she doesn't think she could do it. Initially she also whined that I chose a bad name, though, so I'm pretty sure it's just her usual whiny resistance to change.

And lol, I can relate to that. I feel like I'm the last person on Earth looking for a serious relationship. Not true - I know a couple where the other party is constantly stressed because all lesbians she knows break up so often and she fears that'll happen to them too despite everything, so I guess she wants a serious relationship, and then there's the Christian girl. But still, I'm pretty much a dinosaur.

[Jason0690]

Oblivion Blades

I forgot to mention when I went to get my hair cut, my support worker again slipped into degendering me. Yay. I do not understand how she does it. I just cannot understand how, because we met after I started T, and she's never known me in the feminine gender role, by a feminine name or otherwise non-masculinely.
Yet, she keeps doing this.
The last time before this she slipped by asking me about my "princess phase" after talking about her daughter going through one and implying that most girls go through one. Not a big slip, I let it go, because when people talk about their kids, they say stupid s**t for some reason.

Now, she was ranting about her ex's way of doing things or... I have no idea what, really, I can't remember what the subject was. Either way, I was agreeing with her that what the dude was doing was highly impractical and illogical. She replied with "Just can't understand men sometimes, right?"

I was like "Ehehe. Hee. Eh. Heh. Um. Well this is awkward."
She didn't even catch it.

I don't know if her being an assumptive b***h or a degendering b***h is worse.
Most of the cis-females that I know didn't even go through a princess phase, they all went through a tomboy phase - though some of them are still tomboys.
I don't know any trans men in real life(That I know of.), so I can't comment on that aspect - but the trans women I've known(all of two.) had what their parents called a "girly" phase.

So it's like, "wtf, b***h?" to have read that.(b***h being your SW.)

I forgot to mention it before, but while I like long hair, and men with long hair, you look ******** adorable with short hair. And to point it out, I don't mean that in a degendering way. I mean that in ******** kind of way.