Desideraht
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Dapper Phantom
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- Posted: Tue, 26 Jun 2012 09:44:55 +0000
Samy-san
Desideraht
Stupidly excited about my new binder. >W< It'll take like 5-7 days to get here.
Refusing to sleep because I want to keep drawing until I figure out how to paint hair.
FFFFFFFFF.
I'm tired though.
On a downward note, I'm pretty bummed that my old job is opening up at the end of July. It may mean quitting my new job. I don't really want to do that, even though at my old job I makes $3 more an hour and has overtime. I'm not sure how to go about this. Especially if I leave this job and then for some stupid reason my old job doesn't take me back. I REALLY have to play this VERY carefully, get my start date at my OTHER job before I consider leaving this one. It has to happen at some point because I need that extra income. It will take like 2-3 years to save up for surgery with these wages. With my other job it could take as short as 10 months.
I like my bosses at my new job. A lot. But I'm already thinking about leaving for $3 more an hour before my first day of work. Is that ******** up? I'm considering staying with this job until the NEXT hiring cycle after this one, but I just don't know when that sort of opportunity will open up again. If I knew that everyone's contracts were expiring at the end of July I would have just waited for that spot to open up. Fuuuuck...
This is just a HUGE moral dilemma for me. I kind of hope this is justa summer job. We never talked about how long they need people. So I'm gonna ask if they hired extra people for the summer. If they did, I am going to see if I can coordinate my leaving with going back to my old job. But that's really hard to do, because my old job fills open positions immediately. They won't hold a spot for me, not even for a few days. They will fill openings with temps if I can't work as soon as they need people. I am going to start officially working at my new job sometime after this upcoming Thursday. So that means I'd be working there for like 3-4 weeks before quitting. That's shitty and inconsiderate to the people who just hired me.
The other thing is my new job may have BETTER job security than my old one. At my old job, they routinely lay people off. At my new job, they need new managers. If I could work up to a management position (just shift management, nothing special), I could get some real job security, unlike my other job, where it takes ONE YEAR of temp work to become a permanent. At my current job, I AM a permanent. I was NOT hired as a temp.
Ugh... I need to talk to a few people about hte $3 difference. You guys know Miles (aka GraveOmega) saved up for his chest surgery on his own. I think he did that with pretty low wages in less than 2 years... So I mean it's gotta be possible even at $8 an hour (though I think he made more than that). Idk, I'm just so paranoid over this. I feel like I'll never be able to afford surgery. It's making me paranoid about how much I make by the hour. I need to be more grateful about my new job.
On the side, I'm going to start selling art. I want to really polish my coloring before I do, though. I want the work to be the best quality that my skills can provide, so I need to master a few more techniques. In just a few days I've learned some really great tips with coloring, so I feel like a week or two of study could help me feel ready to sell commissions... It'll be some extra income on the side and I know my art will be pretty high demand if I get into the right places online. I also want to make more "generic" works (aka not fanart or OCs) so I can sell prints.
Ugh, so that's where my head is tonight at 2 AM...
I'm going to take a deep breath, and focus on the job that I HAVE right now. Who knows, it might not be the right job for me. And if that's the case, my old job is opening up next month. I have to surrender to this situation, and let things work out in the cosmic order of things.
Refusing to sleep because I want to keep drawing until I figure out how to paint hair.
FFFFFFFFF.
I'm tired though.
On a downward note, I'm pretty bummed that my old job is opening up at the end of July. It may mean quitting my new job. I don't really want to do that, even though at my old job I makes $3 more an hour and has overtime. I'm not sure how to go about this. Especially if I leave this job and then for some stupid reason my old job doesn't take me back. I REALLY have to play this VERY carefully, get my start date at my OTHER job before I consider leaving this one. It has to happen at some point because I need that extra income. It will take like 2-3 years to save up for surgery with these wages. With my other job it could take as short as 10 months.
I like my bosses at my new job. A lot. But I'm already thinking about leaving for $3 more an hour before my first day of work. Is that ******** up? I'm considering staying with this job until the NEXT hiring cycle after this one, but I just don't know when that sort of opportunity will open up again. If I knew that everyone's contracts were expiring at the end of July I would have just waited for that spot to open up. Fuuuuck...
This is just a HUGE moral dilemma for me. I kind of hope this is justa summer job. We never talked about how long they need people. So I'm gonna ask if they hired extra people for the summer. If they did, I am going to see if I can coordinate my leaving with going back to my old job. But that's really hard to do, because my old job fills open positions immediately. They won't hold a spot for me, not even for a few days. They will fill openings with temps if I can't work as soon as they need people. I am going to start officially working at my new job sometime after this upcoming Thursday. So that means I'd be working there for like 3-4 weeks before quitting. That's shitty and inconsiderate to the people who just hired me.
The other thing is my new job may have BETTER job security than my old one. At my old job, they routinely lay people off. At my new job, they need new managers. If I could work up to a management position (just shift management, nothing special), I could get some real job security, unlike my other job, where it takes ONE YEAR of temp work to become a permanent. At my current job, I AM a permanent. I was NOT hired as a temp.
Ugh... I need to talk to a few people about hte $3 difference. You guys know Miles (aka GraveOmega) saved up for his chest surgery on his own. I think he did that with pretty low wages in less than 2 years... So I mean it's gotta be possible even at $8 an hour (though I think he made more than that). Idk, I'm just so paranoid over this. I feel like I'll never be able to afford surgery. It's making me paranoid about how much I make by the hour. I need to be more grateful about my new job.
On the side, I'm going to start selling art. I want to really polish my coloring before I do, though. I want the work to be the best quality that my skills can provide, so I need to master a few more techniques. In just a few days I've learned some really great tips with coloring, so I feel like a week or two of study could help me feel ready to sell commissions... It'll be some extra income on the side and I know my art will be pretty high demand if I get into the right places online. I also want to make more "generic" works (aka not fanart or OCs) so I can sell prints.
Ugh, so that's where my head is tonight at 2 AM...
I'm going to take a deep breath, and focus on the job that I HAVE right now. Who knows, it might not be the right job for me. And if that's the case, my old job is opening up next month. I have to surrender to this situation, and let things work out in the cosmic order of things.
Dude, did you get your binder from underworks? Thats where I got mine. so comfy, can wear it all day xd . Dont really have any advice on the job thing, sorry. Although depending on where you live your health insurance may cover all or part of your surgery(s). I live in BC Canada, and mine will cover chest and hysterectomy/ooperectomy, but not bottom reconstructive, but it takes a while to get approved.
Samy-san
I dont know, you look like a guy to me... perhaps its mannerisms or something else thats tipping them off. Are you on T? and if so has your voice started changing yet?
Jason0690
Almost all people that get their nips pierced have an enlargement of the nipples due to scar tissue - since you already have a lip ring, say they were pierced before. Start off by dropping that knowledge bomb first if someone questions - you already appear to have a flat chest, the only "giveaway" in that pic is the actual n****e part and a bit of the pokey-outy areola. Can even be used post top surgery, if you don't want them to touch the actual n****e but the mammaries/fat below the skin.
Also, think you'd look smashing with a brow piercing. I have a thing for men with brow piercings.
Ever tried contouring with make-up? In reference to your chest? I know that MtF and cross-dressers can make it look like they have cleavage, theoretically, you could minimize the shadowing under your moobs since they're not all that large.
And, I feel your pain bruh. I've got dark eyebags too emo
I actually think you look more masculine without the shirt on ._. Does that make sense? It doesn't to me.
Also, think you'd look smashing with a brow piercing. I have a thing for men with brow piercings.
Ever tried contouring with make-up? In reference to your chest? I know that MtF and cross-dressers can make it look like they have cleavage, theoretically, you could minimize the shadowing under your moobs since they're not all that large.
And, I feel your pain bruh. I've got dark eyebags too emo
I actually think you look more masculine without the shirt on ._. Does that make sense? It doesn't to me.
I've seen cis men with puffy nipples but people ALWAYS make SO much fun of them. So I hope chest surgery reduces that a little but I don't want them sized down to like the size of a dime. I hate it when surgeons do that.
Make up won't hide my fatty chest tissue from profile viewing (i.e. the side). I get sidemoob that I can't really hide shirtless, lol. They're pointy, too. >_<
Yeah plaid makes me look like a dyke so I try not to wear it lol.
Nitroglycerific Rainbow
This question is mostly directed at MtFs, since they don't have dysphoria towards their tits, though FtMs can shed light on it too.
Are breasts as a whole supposed to be highly sensitive? For the longest time, I came to suspect that the obsession with women massaging their breasts, like in porn, was just for visual appeal, and that tits are largely just like any other part of the body. But I'm finding that as I get more and more developed breasts, they're sensitive. Like, really sensitive. Just one self-grope and I'm immobilized with my back arched. Now, I'm a sensitive person when it comes to sex just in general, but this is a bit beyond normal to me.
tl;dr: anyone's titties really, really sensitive?
Are breasts as a whole supposed to be highly sensitive? For the longest time, I came to suspect that the obsession with women massaging their breasts, like in porn, was just for visual appeal, and that tits are largely just like any other part of the body. But I'm finding that as I get more and more developed breasts, they're sensitive. Like, really sensitive. Just one self-grope and I'm immobilized with my back arched. Now, I'm a sensitive person when it comes to sex just in general, but this is a bit beyond normal to me.
tl;dr: anyone's titties really, really sensitive?
Though I wouldn't say a simple grope provides me with that much raw sensation, as sensitive at they are. Some of that is psychological, too, because I get really turned on by the idea of having my taint played with, but as an FtM, I don't exactly have one, so I kind of have to visualize that sensation. I see it sort of like that. Part of getting off is psychological. The raw physically sensation of having breasts is not a back-arching experience unless you mentally like it also. Since people see me as male they aren't afraid to grab at my chest and it's not like I'm stopped suddenly with uncontrollable pleasure. Usually I'm more like "I hope they didn't notice moob."
Track01_Rebuild
Nitroglycerific Rainbow
This question is mostly directed at MtFs, since they don't have dysphoria towards their tits, though FtMs can shed light on it too.
Are breasts as a whole supposed to be highly sensitive? For the longest time, I came to suspect that the obsession with women massaging their breasts, like in porn, was just for visual appeal, and that tits are largely just like any other part of the body. But I'm finding that as I get more and more developed breasts, they're sensitive. Like, really sensitive. Just one self-grope and I'm immobilized with my back arched. Now, I'm a sensitive person when it comes to sex just in general, but this is a bit beyond normal to me.
tl;dr: anyone's titties really, really sensitive?
Are breasts as a whole supposed to be highly sensitive? For the longest time, I came to suspect that the obsession with women massaging their breasts, like in porn, was just for visual appeal, and that tits are largely just like any other part of the body. But I'm finding that as I get more and more developed breasts, they're sensitive. Like, really sensitive. Just one self-grope and I'm immobilized with my back arched. Now, I'm a sensitive person when it comes to sex just in general, but this is a bit beyond normal to me.
tl;dr: anyone's titties really, really sensitive?
For the most part, they're not much more sensitive than, say, my stomach. I figure, being as large as they are, the nerves are more spread out which would make them less sensitive. That, or my dysphoria ******** with them. Same with areola. Idk. Nips themselves are a different story, though.
