The Painful Truth: Self Harm - Discussion & Understanding

Do you self harm?

Yes	35.8%	[ 1024 ]
I used to, but I recovered	32.7%	[ 934 ]
I don't, but I know someone who does	13.6%	[ 389 ]
No	17.9%	[ 512 ]
Total Votes:			[ 2859 ]

[Whisper the Lightbringer]

joonebugg

Whisper From A Dream

joonebugg

just having a really hard time today. my best friend and i are going through a rough patch and today hes not talking to me. i hate how he can do that, just ruin or fix everything even if nothing actually changes.

I definitely know what that's like, to care very much about someone and just having them upset with you ruins your day. I do have to question though why this person has to resort to not talking to you. If they are your best friend, then I would have to think they know what this is doing to you. I find myself wondering if maybe they are using how much you care for them, in order to manipulate you.

hes convinced that everyone will hurt him so he back away to keep from getting hurt and in the process hurts other people. but i mean ya i wonder a lot if he doesnt know exactly what hes doing...

If he feels that everyone will hurt them, so he hurts them first, then yes, he DOES know what he's doing. Its a defense mechanism, but its a malformed one just like self harm. If he withdraws from people in order to "punish" them, then he is doing it intentionally, and its not a healthy friendship. Its one where he's seeking to control, probably to cope with his OWN life, and in gaining control of others he doesn't feel so helpless. You can't allow him to have that much power over whether or not you're happy or have a good day. He has to realize that his behavior is hurting people, and IS the cause for him being alone.

[Whisper the Lightbringer]

Vaxir

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

My friend is coming to visit from Sweden Sunday - today/tomorrow for whatever timezone and i'm worried what he wil think of my scars since they're rather bad =_=

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

If he is truly a friend, then he will treat you with the care and love and respect you deserve. If he reacts badly, or would look down on you for them, then that would tell you something about where you stand in his eyes.

[Sadismancer]

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

I -think- he knows, kinda, but it's still like "eh, will it offend him or hurt him"? Since he cares for me kinda thing.

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

[Whisper the Lightbringer]

Vaxir

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

I -think- he knows, kinda, but it's still like "eh, will it offend him or hurt him"? Since he cares for me kinda thing.

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

What's it like over there right now? Is the weather cooler where you could just wear long sleeves? Even if he DOES know, it can really come as a shock to see the actual scars, especially if he's interested in you. If you feel comfortable after you've met face to face, then maybe work up to talking to him about it?

[Sadismancer]

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

It's odd. I've shown my body freely the last two years, but this guy... Yea, I -like- him that way and I've never straight out said i've harmed, only suggested it and raged on it kinda thing. So if he sees it... it's scary. I know for a fact he's a nice guy and will understand, but i'm still scared. They're nearly faded (somehow! biggrin ) but looking close you notice the 'severity'?

I've come down with "freckle-camoflauge"; fleckles have invaded all my scars in a literal cover O_O

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

[Whisper the Lightbringer]

Vaxir

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

It's odd. I've shown my body freely the last two years, but this guy... Yea, I -like- him that way and I've never straight out said i've harmed, only suggested it and raged on it kinda thing. So if he sees it... it's scary. I know for a fact he's a nice guy and will understand, but i'm still scared. They're nearly faded (somehow! biggrin ) but looking close you notice the 'severity'?

I've come down with "freckle-camoflauge"; fleckles have invaded all my scars in a literal cover O_O

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

I really hope everything goes alright. It would be so amazing to see you genuinely HAPPY with someone. I guess you just have to have faith in him, you know? In the end, they're only just scars, they aren't you, and they aren't the woman this person is coming to see. They're something you're fighting to overcome, and the person you are is amazing, THAT'S who he's coming to see.

[Sadismancer]

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

Gnahahaha! We shall see how it goes XD He is a nerd like me at warcraft. He's from Sweden so gonna show him England and treat him to the best places :>

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

[Whisper the Lightbringer]

Vaxir

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

Gnahahaha! We shall see how it goes XD He is a nerd like me at warcraft. He's from Sweden so gonna show him England and treat him to the best places :>

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

It sounds like you'll have a wonderful time <3333

[Sadismancer]

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

Maybe! I hope so x3 I can't wait, though I'm excited and nervous at the same time! But he's gonna go home annoyed cause he wants to stop smoking and still smokes, so imma break his cigs >;D

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

[Whisper the Lightbringer]

Vaxir

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

Maybe! I hope so x3 I can't wait, though I'm excited and nervous at the same time! But he's gonna go home annoyed cause he wants to stop smoking and still smokes, so imma break his cigs >;D

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

LOL! Better have a fallout shelter prepared for that then XDD

[Sadismancer]

There most dangerous thing we
are ever told is 'There is nothing to be afraid of'

Keep listening! You will hear the tortured screams! XD

/Shayan ☣

Because, in truth, there is so
very much to fear.

[Relia777]

I apologize for expressing my views. I'm wrong.


..I'll never try to be right again...

Bye thread.

[Whisper the Lightbringer]

I for one refuse to revive the drama. We all make our own choices, and we all live with the consequences. Everyone here said they would rather you stay, and I don't carry grudges either. If you choose not to stay, the entire thread can't chase you down to try to change your mind. Even the wording of your post just now is still confrontational, still suggests that everyone else here is dead wrong and that you are the only person who could possibly know how to fix MY life. I won't have someone intentionally sit and tear me down until I have a panic attack, the way I did during that last conversation. In my eyes, you're always welcome to come back, you were here before me. At the same time, everyone else helped me to see that I truly AM wanted here, and I won't give that up, for anyone. Best of luck in whatever you do.

[GoddessDivine]

spiffyschmoo

I apologize for expressing my views. I'm wrong.


..I'll never try to be right again...

Bye thread.

Oh for crying out loud. This melodrama is just silly Greg. No one wanted you to leave, and simply because we disagreed doesn't mean you can't have an opinion.

[joonebugg]

Whisper From A Dream

If he feels that everyone will hurt them, so he hurts them first, then yes, he DOES know what he's doing. Its a defense mechanism, but its a malformed one just like self harm. If he withdraws from people in order to "punish" them, then he is doing it intentionally, and its not a healthy friendship. Its one where he's seeking to control, probably to cope with his OWN life, and in gaining control of others he doesn't feel so helpless. You can't allow him to have that much power over whether or not you're happy or have a good day. He has to realize that his behavior is hurting people, and IS the cause for him being alone.

thank you whisper, i think this is probably the hardest thing for me