MarigoldMari
Chieftain Twilight
MarigoldMari
Most relationships I've been in (90% of them) were results of affairs where the person got interested in me while they were in a relationship and due to my almost nonexistent self esteem I became the "other woman" or the "other man" whichever they preferred. Then they broke up with their s.o to be with me but then cheated on me with other people but of course they did because they're slimy scum. And of course, these "relationships" were not actually relationships as I know better now, they were "skin" relationships if you get my drift. Also, many of these "relationships" were "slave/master" things which I did not enjoy but went along with because once again no self esteem.
I can't tell you how nice it is to be in a relationship that's not like that for once.
the sheer amount of abusive and/or sexist relationships which the abuser or bigot tries to disguise as BDSM disgusts and infuriates me..... I'm terribly sorry that you went through that, and so many times.
assholes in leather give us all a bad name.
Yes, I quite agree. Most of the "submissive/slaves/pets" that I met during my time in their world were like me meaning they had no self esteem (absolutely zero) and I felt very bad for them and tried to help them see that they were worth more than this. It was very sad. I would go as far as to say there is brainwashing in it because having somebody who thinks that low of themselves is like pliable Play-Doh in a master's hands. A master can abuse their slave however they want, humiliate them (good god the humiliations I saw), and the slave will think they deserve that and think its actually a good thing. Even now it makes me have a desperate mixture of anger and sadness just thinking about it. But that's not what this thread is about. Just went on a little rant.
I wouldn't dare call that person a "master" of anyone. that isn't what Masters are really like. he's an example of how abusive ******** can use the BDSM lifestyle as their excuse to mistreat people. it is not accepted or condoned in the Leather community, and we actively shame and weed out these sorts of people.
Dom/Sub relationships of all kinds are meant to be equal partnerships. informed consent, mutual respect, and loving care are all cornerstones of these dynamics, and the relationships are built on deep trust and open honest communication. anyone who deviates from any of this is not truly fit to call themselves "Master" or "Pet", and are not conducting themselves in a healthy manner.
I can only hope that I can improve your opinion of the Kinky Lifestyle. I have no intention of roping you back into it, of course (hah. punny). but I do hate to see another person feel a stigma against it because of an a*****e in leather.
I and many other Kinksters I know actually habitually and/or professionally take in formerly abused Subs, and often help them recover from the effects of abuse. I also know of plenty of non-kinky support groups and resource centers you and others can go through.