Wee Little
xXLoveXyouXforveverXx
Hi, I see this thread all the time.
Well, this guy and myself, we were in a relationship with each other for a month. We were only physically together for two days out of the first three days of being together. He had to go back to his hometown for something serious and we would talk through text. His texting wasn't much and it was hard to tell if he still liked me because he was so far away and wasn't talking much. We discussed it and he tried harder, but he still felt distance. So, last week, we skyped and I told him that the distance that he was giving off and the actual distance apart was taking his toll on me. He basically told me that he was not emotionally ready to be with someone right now, but later on he knows he will be. I broke up with him. We haven't spoken since then, but I do miss him and still want to talk to him.
I'm just coming to y'all because I would like some really helpful advice from someone that doesn't know me, or him. I just want to know whether or not anyone else has gone through a similar situation with their significant other (obviously, didn't have the same result), how did you handle it, should I try again with him when he is more available, and should I have waited for him? I understand long distance is a bit of the waiting game, so should I have done that?
Distance isn't a problem for me, just the lack of communication. Does anyone else feel the same way?
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this and help me out.
I'd say don't wait up. Obviously people here are supporters and believe LDRs can work, but you know, if you can find people who are physically there in person, then go for it. Sounds like you didn't know him for very long. Perhaps it is best to just remain friends with him, but don't hold onto any potential false hope.
LDRs tend to be pretty serious from the get-go, that or they're pretty casual in the beginning. But either way, at some point LDRs tend to become more serious than most relationships. In some ways they require more commitment because even if you are in a LDR and you can handle the distance you need to make long-term goals or else it isn't going to work. Even when you're in high school, you may want to consider talking about plans post high school, and if you're going to college, where you will be going, approximately how long you will be studying. Would either of you be willing to move to be with the other, will visits have any hurdles such as money for plane tickets, etc. It's good to be upfront about this from the beginning. It doesn't have to be anything set in stone or concrete but it's nice to have this kind of stuff just out there.
So personally, I do not recommend going into a LDR unless you and the person know each other well and know you
really want to be with that person. He definitely sounds like he wasn't yet ready for that kind of relationship and it may take some time before he is and even then he may not longer be interested in you by time he is. Or you him.
Thank you so much for your help.
Yeah, we kind of rushed into and didn't get to know each other that while, but we wanted it that way so the relationship could be more exciting.
I didn't know he had to go back until the night before he had to leave, so that was a quick change I didn't get a chance to prepare for. But, while he was gone, I missed him more and I thought of certain times I would have been able to go up and visit. He didn't agree with the idea because he won't have been able to pick me up.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wasn't prepared for a LDR because I didn't think it was going to be one. But, once it became one, I didn't realize the long term goals that need to be said.
Thanks again for the incite.
