Username:
Liz_Rocks_Socks_Religio
Title of story:
Finding What I Did Not Know Was Lost
All of my life I have loved the arts. Painting, drawing, photography, sculpture, any kind of art really. But it was never really something I explored. You see, my father, a notoriously harsh and un-artistic person had no appreciation for the arts in any form, and considered them an utter waste of time. So, in private I would attempt to draw, perhaps paint, and I did miserably. Sadly, I began to mirror my father’s attitude. Worse yet, I was convinced I had no artistic talent at all.
Over the years I tried to find my calling. I have studied many different fields, worked in different jobs, never feeling satisfied, never feeling successful.
Yes, I found joy in other things, my daughter, my friends, my pets, and the time I spent with them. I have had much laughter and happiness in my life. Simple things like playing a game with friends brought me happiness, and more elaborate things like going to amusement parks and riding rollercoasters until I was almost too dizzy to stand. However, all of this joy and happiness was external; none of it came from me, none of it was my creation.
Something in me was fighting to get out. I could feel it for years, but could never quite put my fingers on what that thing was.
My daughter is in college now. This summer, she suggested the two of us taking a glass blowing class together. My first thought was “What? Are you nuts?!?” Before the phrase could escape my mouth though, I paused, and thought about it.
Did I want to become my father? Discouraging creativity? Dousing the artist in my daughter and condemning her to a life that felt not quite expressive enough?
The answer was no, a flat out undeniable no. So, I agreed to take the class with my daughter. I felt like a crazy person, but I agreed.
It was a difficult class; the heat was almost unbearable, I burnt myself pretty badly, and I nearly passed out countless times. It was worth it though, I had a blast in that class, and I am still so proud of myself and my daughter for giving it a try. Glass blowing however, is just not for me.
On the way to our glass blowing class however, we had to pass the pottery/ceramics studio every day. I would always look into the room, watch the students, the budding artists working with the clay, and think to myself “I may be able to do that; I think I want to try that.”
So, this fall, I signed up for a hand-built pottery class. From the first moment I touched the clay I knew it was for me. I loved it. It was like playing with mud as a child, so very freeing. At first I struggled, learning how to work with the clay, trying to force it into the shapes I wanted, but in time I began to understand the clay better, how to coax it, caress it, and how to convince it to become the visions I had in my head. I learned a great deal in a short amount of time.
But what really learned, what I am truly grateful to have figured out is this: I am an artist. I found my medium, I found my means of expression, I found a part of myself I never knew I had lost. I found myself. I found what that something was that needed to get out, and I am letting it out with great joy and happiness.
I am so thankful to my daughter for suggesting we try the arts together. Because of her, I have found a joy that comes from within, that I can share with the rest of the world. I am thankful beyond words I have finally found a way to incorporate the arts into my life.
heart
Above is an image of my final project for the semester. (Kinda like a final exam.) These snowflakes are currently sitting on a shelf of the kiln, waiting to be bisque fired. They will become a wall mural. They range in size from 11 inches across to 7 inches across. I carved each of them out of 1/4 inch thick slabs of clay using an x-acto knife, a needle tool, a small hook tool, and a wet paintbrush. The top of each has a layer of lavender slip which will show slightly through the white glaze once they are glazed giving them a touch of color. I plan on attaching small "feet" to the back of each flake so they do not rest directly against the wall as they hang. This will allow them to cast a shadow as light shines upon them creating a greater sense of depth. I plan on hanging each with a white silk ribbon. I think (hope) these will be very pretty once completed. 3nodding 
