The story is basically nonsense. Without context to help me understand what's happening, I can't enjoy the comic at all. It's just another manga fight scene. Who am I supposed to root for? Why are they fighting?
Artistically, it's scratchy and imprecise. There's a lot of symbolic drawing, where you're not drawing a tree or a brick wall; you're drawing the
idea of those things. It's the artistic equivalent of trailing off before you finish a descriptive sentence, and just going "Eh, you know what I mean." And yes, I do, but I shouldn't have to. You've never seen a tree or half-demolished wall that looks like the ones you've drawn. That's what makes them symbolic, instead of realistic.Draw
realistically.
Giant weapons, kitty ears, cards of some sort being held impractically between the fingers... your character design feels like a half-digested regurgitation of your influences. There's not much to see here. It looks and feels like what it is; an imitation of something else.
Tall, skinny word balloons exist in manga because Japanese text is written vertically. English isn't. Our language, and resultantly, word balloons, are horizontal. Yours should be, too. Cramming horizontal text into tall, skinny balloons isn't as bad as drawing your comics to read from right to left, but it's on the same spectrum of exoticism worship.
Not a scrap of dialog presented tells me a thing about anybody's relationships, motivations or emotional states. Bad move. Every word balloon is an opportunity to flesh out a character or setting; don't waste them.