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Edithlegacy's avatar

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some random pages from my manga. i don't even know why i post them here.

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Annie Felis's avatar

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It's kind of hard to tell who is talking at times. The speech bubbles are just floating there, instead of pointing at who is talking.

I'm also not digging the little bubble that shows she's pushing a button on her weapon. Why not just draw a seperate panel to show that she's going to do that?
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Annie Felis
It's kind of hard to tell who is talking at times. The speech bubbles are just floating there, instead of pointing at who is talking.

I'm also not digging the little bubble that shows she's pushing a button on her weapon. Why not just draw a seperate panel to show that she's going to do that?


i don't know.....
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I thought it was cute
Edithlegacy's avatar

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Sin of the Night
I thought it was cute


that is good to hear. thanks.
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Edithlegacy
Sin of the Night
I thought it was cute


that is good to hear. thanks.


No problem I wish I could make my characters that constant
The story is basically nonsense. Without context to help me understand what's happening, I can't enjoy the comic at all. It's just another manga fight scene. Who am I supposed to root for? Why are they fighting?

Artistically, it's scratchy and imprecise. There's a lot of symbolic drawing, where you're not drawing a tree or a brick wall; you're drawing the idea of those things. It's the artistic equivalent of trailing off before you finish a descriptive sentence, and just going "Eh, you know what I mean." And yes, I do, but I shouldn't have to. You've never seen a tree or half-demolished wall that looks like the ones you've drawn. That's what makes them symbolic, instead of realistic.Draw realistically.

Giant weapons, kitty ears, cards of some sort being held impractically between the fingers... your character design feels like a half-digested regurgitation of your influences. There's not much to see here. It looks and feels like what it is; an imitation of something else.

Tall, skinny word balloons exist in manga because Japanese text is written vertically. English isn't. Our language, and resultantly, word balloons, are horizontal. Yours should be, too. Cramming horizontal text into tall, skinny balloons isn't as bad as drawing your comics to read from right to left, but it's on the same spectrum of exoticism worship.

Not a scrap of dialog presented tells me a thing about anybody's relationships, motivations or emotional states. Bad move. Every word balloon is an opportunity to flesh out a character or setting; don't waste them.
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IronSpike
The story is basically nonsense. Without context to help me understand what's happening, I can't enjoy the comic at all. It's just another manga fight scene. Who am I supposed to root for? Why are they fighting?

Artistically, it's scratchy and imprecise. There's a lot of symbolic drawing, where you're not drawing a tree or a brick wall; you're drawing the idea of those things. It's the artistic equivalent of trailing off before you finish a descriptive sentence, and just going "Eh, you know what I mean." And yes, I do, but I shouldn't have to. You've never seen a tree or half-demolished wall that looks like the ones you've drawn. That's what makes them symbolic, instead of realistic.Draw realistically.

Giant weapons, kitty ears, cards of some sort being held impractically between the fingers... your character design feels like a half-digested regurgitation of your influences. There's not much to see here. It looks and feels like what it is; an imitation of something else.

Tall, skinny word balloons exist in manga because Japanese text is written vertically. English isn't. Our language, and resultantly, word balloons, are horizontal. Yours should be, too. Cramming horizontal text into tall, skinny balloons isn't as bad as drawing your comics to read from right to left, but it's on the same spectrum of exoticism worship.

Not a scrap of dialog presented tells me a thing about anybody's relationships, motivations or emotional states. Bad move. Every word balloon is an opportunity to flesh out a character or setting; don't waste them.


you idiot, this is just random pages. i aren't going to post the whole thing, it would take hours to upload over 56 images on photobucket.
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Edithlegacy
you idiot, this is just random pages. i aren't going to post the whole thing, it would take hours to upload over 56 images on photobucket.


Why should anyone who posts in this forum give a s**t about a series of unrelated images with no context? You, yourself, have said "i don't even know why i post them here". If you can't give a s**t, why should any of us?
Edithlegacy

you idiot, this is just random pages. i aren't going to post the whole thing, it would take hours to upload over 56 images on photobucket.


Cry harder. Take it more personally. Wet your frilly little diaper, just for me. Your tears are delicious.

If you don't want any feedback that's not an asspat, keep this s**t off the forum and taped to your mom's fridge.
Random Question: Why does everyone stand the same way. If they are just standing there why do they all have the same pose? I have never seen that in real life.


As for a critique. I would say perhaps work on character consistency. Sometimes that bandaged character looks different almost every time you draw them. I find it annoying if I have to think about what character that is.

And Iron Spike is right. We need the rest of the story just so that we could find interest in the story. And the lack of actual character personality appearance makes it so this could not be a opening. There are comics that can open with a fight scene and still work. This is not it.

Personally the wording could use some work. I think that is more an issue of knowing nothing of the characters before hand. How some one speaks is a character trait and without anything but fighting we can't tell that.

Overall needs work.
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IronSpike
Edithlegacy

you idiot, this is just random pages. i aren't going to post the whole thing, it would take hours to upload over 56 images on photobucket.


Cry harder. Take it more personally. Wet your frilly little diaper, just for me. Your tears are delicious.

If you don't want any feedback that's not an asspat, keep this s**t off the forum and taped to your mom's fridge.


wow...typical. very smart of you.
Edithlegacy

wow...typical. very smart of you.


Almost as smart as posting page fifty-twelve of Baby's First Manga, and then throwing a name-calling, tear-soaked toddler-tantrum when it's not borne to heaven on a flight of angels and praise?
IronSpike
Edithlegacy

you idiot, this is just random pages. i aren't going to post the whole thing, it would take hours to upload over 56 images on photobucket.


Cry harder. Take it more personally. Wet your frilly little diaper, just for me. Your tears are delicious.

If you don't want any feedback that's not an asspat, keep this s**t off the forum and taped to your mom's fridge.


I have to say I do agree.
nightshade259
Random Question: Why does everyone stand the same way. If they are just standing there why do they all have the same pose? I have never seen that in real life.

Because no life drawing that's why. This is what happens when anime/manga is the only reference you have. Same for sitting poses, too -- it's one of the many telltale signs of a person who has never actually done any life drawing. Everyone stands the same way, everyone sits more or less the same way, etc. There's very little variation in the poses and character designs and none of them are particularly interesting or dynamic.

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