Why do people not consider it cheating if

[Stereo Conspiracy]

Hello Britty

I think that whatever is agreed upon isn't cheating?
Open relationships are a thing.
I could never be in one, but some people are different.

See I could understand if it were an open relationship/poly thing. I have friends who are into that and y'know, whatever floats yer boat.
But this was from a coworker and even when I talked about it with him after he mentioned it I asked but it's not even an open relationship. He would consider himself a cheater if he ******** someone else, and if she ******** a guy, but he thinks it's fine because it 'doesn't count as cheating if it's with a girl'

it doesn't help that he is the most sexist person I know, so I can't help but feel like my inability to understand the concept is because he's a piece of s**t and i know this on a personal level

[Keoni v2]

You read my thread huh


My girl can ******** girls if I'm also ******** that girl
twisted

[Stereo Conspiracy]

Keoni v2

You read my thread huh


My girl can ******** girls if I'm also ******** that girl
twisted

no i'm just pissed off at my douchewheel of a coworker who doesn't think lesbians are not even a real thing and are purely a fetish.

[!~[x] Cheri [x]~!]

yea i agree
i mean me n my guy definitely mutually dont care if we compliment ppl of the same sex, like when hes like "hugh jackman is hot" im like ok but if he said it about a girl id be mad, same w me saying girls r cute
but im glad that he told me he would see me cheating with a girl the same as cheating with a guy
in a way bc also it shows he actually sees my sexuality as valid and not just like a party trick

[Stereo Conspiracy]

Shiny_slowpoke

I'm pretty sure that it's mainly in your head that people act like this.
After people get out of high school or once they develop critical thinking skills, this isn't a thing.
Cheating is cheating regardless of who or what gender the person is, mostly everyone knows this.

I don't see how it's in my head if someone literally said this to me today.

[Majo-Hikari]

I think it all depends on what the couple agrees to. If the girl is bisexual, but they haven't had the conversation and then she sleeps with a girl... that's obviously cheating. On the flip side, if they talk about it, and the boyfriend is cool with the girl having sex with either gender or ONE and not the other, and she performs within those criteria, it is not cheating because two consenting adults that cohabitate together had an adult discussion and made an agreement.

[i forgor]

Flirting not so much, but everything else, yes.

[ARE YOU A UFO]

Stereo Conspiracy

Hello Britty

I think that whatever is agreed upon isn't cheating?
Open relationships are a thing.
I could never be in one, but some people are different.

See I could understand if it were an open relationship/poly thing. I have friends who are into that and y'know, whatever floats yer boat.
But this was from a coworker and even when I talked about it with him after he mentioned it I asked but it's not even an open relationship. He would consider himself a cheater if he ******** someone else, and if she ******** a guy, but he thinks it's fine because it 'doesn't count as cheating if it's with a girl'

it doesn't help that he is the most sexist person I know, so I can't help but feel like my inability to understand the concept is because he's a piece of s**t and i know this on a personal level

Oh, that's weird then.
But I guess it still technically isn't cheating if it's agreed upon, but like...
he sounds like a d**k.

[NotAnUndercoverCop]

Genyusai

I had an ex that claimed to be bisexual, 3 years into our relationship. Without my approval (or even knowledge), she was making out with different girls. Had sex with one of them, I didn't find out until a month later. She was not understanding when I was upset, told me it was no big deal, and it was "not cheating" because it wasn't a guy.

I broke up with her about a week later but spent *that* week away from home to process my thoughts. She was furious, FURIOUS that I was upset and told her to get out.

The mental gymnastics of some people to rationalize their actions I swear..

This.
Yeah, I dated about three guys who were totally into the whole "threesome" thing.
And who would joke about me being with others girls; which I didn't find funny or sexy, for a lot of reasons.
Mostly because to me, I'd consider that cheating on my boyfriend.
Even if he doesn't.

I recently dated a much older guy who, when I made the joke, trying to gauge his reaction,
he was a little perturbed and asked why I thought it was okay.
He has the same understand that it IS cheating and it's not okay.
It's always nice to hear from men who've experienced it that they know what it's like,
because I think some guys joke about it because it's "cool" and "sexualized."
But they forget that there's an emotional bit to sex as well, and whether its with a girl or a guy,
it's still an act of intimacy.

[Stereo Conspiracy]

Genyusai

I had an ex that claimed to be bisexual, 3 years into our relationship. Without my approval (or even knowledge), she was making out with different girls. Had sex with one of them, I didn't find out until a month later. She was not understanding when I was upset, told me it was no big deal, and it was "not cheating" because it wasn't a guy.

I broke up with her about a week later but spent *that* week away from home to process my thoughts. She was furious, FURIOUS that I was upset and told her to get out.

The mental gymnastics of some people to rationalize their actions I swear..

Oh my god nope. If I was dating a guy and then years later he was like 'btw i've been having buttsex with several guys" i'd be floored. and probably shred his face.
Like, I'm not a person who can share. I don't want to, I shouldn't have to. If you don't tell me this s**t before we become a thing i'm going to rip your eyes out later when I find out because I'll be hurt. One because I was essentially lied to, and two I'd have wasted time investing myself into a relationship that ultimately will not work out because you can't force someone to change their sexuality.

[peepoPooPoo]

Cutbu

guys think its hot thats all there is to it

[Hiddochi wolf]

Hello Britty

I think that whatever is agreed upon isn't cheating?
Open relationships are a thing.
I could never be in one, but some people are different.

^ This.

As long as both partners are okay with it, it shouldn't be considered cheating. It's all about communication. As for WHY it's more acceptable? I think part of that is the whole primal idea of competition... it's less "threatening" if your partner goes after somebody of their own gender because you're not in direct biological competition with that person, you realize that there are things about the opposite gender that are different (both physically and mentally) that you simply can't give your partner yourself. So if it makes 'em happy to have a sampling of both, why not let 'em?

[Stereo Conspiracy]

NotAnUndercoverCop

This.
Yeah, I dated about three guys who were totally into the whole "threesome" thing.
And who would joke about me being with others girls; which I didn't find funny or sexy, for a lot of reasons.
Mostly because to me, I'd consider that cheating on my boyfriend.
Even if he doesn't.

I recently dated a much older guy who, when I made the joke, trying to gauge his reaction,
he was a little perturbed and asked why I thought it was okay.
He has the same understand that it IS cheating and it's not okay.
It's always nice to hear from men who've experienced it that they know what it's like,
because I think some guys joke about it because it's "cool" and "sexualized."
But they forget that there's an emotional bit to sex as well, and whether its with a girl or a guy,
it's still an act of intimacy.

When I first dated my ex he wanted to have a threesome, or really joked about it. But even the joke made me feel uncomfortable. My standpoint is that I should be enough, if you need another girl to come in here and join in then I'm not the girl for you because the moment you touch her you're cheating on me and from then on I will gauge every single thing I do to what she did and probably never feel like I measure up. It may be a little crazy or irational, but that's how I feel and I wont be swayed, whoever doesn't like it can just not date me.

[Sleazy Does It]

people r stupid smh

[Genyusai]

NotAnUndercoverCop

This.
Yeah, I dated about three guys who were totally into the whole "threesome" thing.
And who would joke about me being with others girls; which I didn't find funny or sexy, for a lot of reasons.
Mostly because to me, I'd consider that cheating on my boyfriend.
Even if he doesn't.

I recently dated a much older guy who, when I made the joke, trying to gauge his reaction,
he was a little perturbed and asked why I thought it was okay.
He has the same understand that it IS cheating and it's not okay.
It's always nice to hear from men who've experienced it that they know what it's like,
because I think some guys joke about it because it's "cool" and "sexualized."
But they forget that there's an emotional bit to sex as well, and whether its with a girl or a guy,
it's still an act of intimacy.

yeah... She had a male friend since childhood who was gay (then bi then straight then bi now he's gay again). He has basically no concept of personal space, is very huggy with people and had the hots for me for a long time. She kept pestering me to "Try it" or at least make out with him. euugh...

It's nice to know at least some people take their relationships seriously. In this day and age of instant gratification, instant messaging and instant noodles, people treat relationships like things and things like people.

I don't find it "cool", I don't feel it's "ok", if you're bi but want a relationship with me, it won't work. I'm not going to go against the natural order of things. There are urges that she will find stronger than the link to commitment. I know a lot of women "don't know what they want", but bisexuality is an issue THEY have to work on, Not saying being bi is bad, just saying it's not good to do things in a relationship that only benefit one person but can harm the other.