Ratskellers Pub a place to drink wine and talk.

What berry is red when it is green

got any idea	8.9%	[ 5 ]
have not got a clue	17.9%	[ 10 ]
I'll never tell	10.7%	[ 6 ]
Yeshhhh lesshhh mee shee hiccup	19.6%	[ 11 ]
Ceymore knows ask him	42.9%	[ 24 ]
Total Votes:			[ 56 ]

[I Ceymore Ratz]

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.'
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
'You better pray that will come out of the carpet.'
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
4. My mother taught me LOGIC. ' Because I said so, that's why.'
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going shopping with me.'
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'
7. My mother taught me IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
'You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone.'
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
'This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.'
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
'If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don'texaggerate!'
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
'I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.'
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION.
'Stop acting like your father!'
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
'There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do.'
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
'Just wait until I get you home.'
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
'You are going to get it when you get home!'
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
'If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.'
19. My mother taught me ESP.
'Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?'
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
'When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me.'
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT .
'If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.'
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
'You're just like your father.'
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
'Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?'
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
'When you get to be my age, you'll understand.'
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
'One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.
.
Well that wasn't too bad....

[I Ceymore Ratz]

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when
words become superfluous"

[I Ceymore Ratz]

I Believe.......
I Believe
.
I believe that the sun shines after the rain
I believe if you don't get hurt you'll never gain
I believe in not doing things the easy way
I believe that being selfish doesn’t pay
I believe in a second chance
I believe in a life long romance
.
I believe there is life after death
And standing up to a life of mess
I believe in love at first sight
I believe that revenge isn’t right
I believe that first impressions last
And there is nothing better then a good laugh
.
I believe that dreams do come true
I believe there's destiny for me and you
I believe that good things come to those who wait
I believe love never arrives too late
I believe something good comes from something bad
I believe that for tears of happiness there are tears of sad
.
I believe everyone has a guardian angel
And the good you do will be rewarded well
I believe sometimes there is no explanation
I believe money can't buy people's affection
I believe you don't know what you've got until it's gone
I believe a new day arrives with every dawn
.
I believe a smile can be contagious
I believe in being very outrageous
I believe in living with no regrets
I believe that life is as good as it gets
I believe that God watches over us
I believe the little things are worth the fuss
.
I believe you have each friend for a reason
I believe you will get punished for treason
I believe that what comes first is family
I believe we should all live in harmony
I believe in making the most of a beautiful day
And it's not the end until everything's okay
.
I believe absence makes the heart grow fonder
I believe you will lose if you sit and wonder
I believe every experience teaches you a lesson
And nothing cures better then a drinking session
I believe everyone has one true love
I believe sometimes we need a little shove
.
I believe the whole world is a stage
I believe we only get better with age
I believe that to learn you have to live
I believe that to love someone you have to give
I believe one moment can change your life
And there's still help when you’re in strife
.
I believe everyone has one true friend
I believe love helps a broken heart mend
I believe in the power of a song
And things will change before too long
I believe living is the best experience
I believe in not laughing at other people’s expense
.
I believe it’s hard to watch a lover leave
And when they’re gone all you can do is breath
I believe to always look on the bright side
I believe that life is just one big ride
I believe when I die people will grieve
But it’s ok because I believe
.
by Kayla Neil
.
I believe these are wise words........

[I Ceymore Ratz]

Well, how about some "ARSE-ICONS?"

Here goes:

(_!_) a regular arse

(__!__) a fat arse

(!) a tight arse

(_*_) a sore arse

{_!_} a swishy arse

(_o_) an arse that's been around

(_x_) kiss my arse

(_X_) leave my arse alone

(_zzz_) a tired arse

(_E=mc2_) a smart arse

(_$_) Money coming out of his arse

(_?_) Dumb arse

You have just been e-mooned!

[I Ceymore Ratz]

Slow Dance.

have you ever watched kids
on a merry go round?
or listened to the rain slapping the ground?
ever followed a butterfly's erractic flight?
or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

you better slow down
dont dance so fast
time is short
the music wont last

do you run through each day on the fly?
when you ask 'How are you?'do you hear the reply?
when the day is done do you lie in your bed
with the next hundred chores running through your head?

you better slow down
dont dance so fast
time is short
the music wont last

ever told a child
we'll do it tomorrow?
and in your haste not see his sorrow?
ever lost touch
let a good friendship die
cause you never have had time to call and say 'Hi!'

you'd better slow down
dont dance so fast
time is short the music wont last
when you run so fast to get somewhere
you miss half the fun of getting there
when you worry and hurry through your day
it is like an unopened gift thrown away
life is not a race
do take it slower
hear the music
before the song is over!

[I Ceymore Ratz]

Food for thought
I dedicate this post to all of you out there who manage to retain your sense of humour despite the crap that life throws at you.....
....
In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, with green, long and healthy lives.
...
Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums.. And Satan said "You want hot fudge with that? And Man said "Yes!" And Woman said "I'll have one too with chocolate chips". And lo, they gained 10 pounds.
...
And God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair
...
And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them.And Woman went from size 12 to size 14
..
.So God said "Try my fresh green salad".
...
And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast
...
God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them"
...
And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof
....
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition
...
Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced the starchy centre into chips and deep fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds
...
God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds
...And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels.And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits
...
Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite
...
And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger
...
Then Satan said "You want fries with that?" and Man replied "Yes, And super size 'em".And Satan said "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest...
God sighed ......... and created quadruple by-pass surgery
...And then Satan chuckled and created the National Health Service.

[I Ceymore Ratz]

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION
After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.:
1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
...
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

[I Ceymore Ratz]

SWEET THING

And I will stroll the merry way
And jump the hedges first
And I will drink the clear
Clean water for to quench my thirst
And I shall watch the ferry-boats
And they'll get high
On a bluer ocean
Against tomorrow's sky
And I will never grow so old again
And I will walk and talk In gardens all wet with rain
Oh sweet thing, sweet thing
My, my, my, my, my sweet thing
And I shall drive my chariot
Down your streets and cry 'Hey, it's me, I'm dynamite And I don't know why'
And you shall take me strongly In your arms again
And I will not remember
That I even felt the pain.
We shall walk and talk In gardens all misty and wet with rain
And I will never, never, never Grow so old again.
Oh sweet thing, sweet thing
My, my, my, my, my sweet thing
And I will raise my hand up Into the night time sky
And count the stars
That's shining in your eye
Just to dig it all an' not to wonder
That's just fine
And I'll be satisfied
Not to read in between the lines
And I will walk and talk In gardens all wet with rain
And I will never, ever, ever, ever
Grow so old again.
Oh sweet thing, sweet thing
Sugar-baby with your champagne eyes
And your saint-like smile.?

[I Ceymore Ratz]

3:12 am and I think the mattress is calling me.

[yugi55]

you have been very busy Ceymore

[UniKorn Tiger]

xd xd
I like the mother one best

[yugi55]

xd

[Icytear]

heart bump heart

[UniKorn Tiger]

3nodding

[CyKa]

heart